DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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You don't want to suffer, so you try every way to be happy, but suffering appears regardless of your wishes, and you can't do anything about it. Because you have created the causes of suffering in the past. However, the causes of suffering are rooted in the mind in this life, specifically in the ego-consciousness, and all negative emotions originate from this source. If you understand this, you will understand that you are responsible for your suffering and there is nothing else to blame. Understanding this, you will be able to accept difficulties and avoid many other sufferings in the future. Therefore, if you want to be happy in this life, you must know the causes that lead to happiness. That is why the Buddha taught:

- I can show you the path to liberation, but liberation depends on you.

Whether you are a Buddhist or not, whether you follow any other religion, you still have a mind, and all the causes of happiness or suffering are in this mind. You will see Buddha when you see what you are and the true nature of your mind.

There are many different concepts of happiness in life. Generally, you consider happiness as something external that you must have, such as money, fame, health, beauty, position, prestige, power, success, satisfaction of desires, etc. Each of you, from your perspective, depending on the essential needs of the body and spirit, forms a concept of happiness. But if it is like that, happiness is something subjective, one-sided, temporary, and you have to keep chasing, searching, never knowing when to have it, and it's never-ending.

Happiness like that is synonymous with possession; the more you possess, the greater the happiness. But in reality, when you are really rich and possess everything you desire, then there are many worries, sometimes even hatred and disputes in the family, and then you will feel miserable as if you are living in hell. If you are poor but share love and kindness in the family, you will have the experience of living in the Pure Land. Happiness can only come from within the mind; happiness has nothing to do with the outside world. When the mind is restless, you will feel suffering everywhere, even in positive situations. If the mind is peaceful and full of love, you will still find happiness even when you are in a seemingly difficult external situation, because:

- All suffering comes from the pursuit of personal happiness.

Practical experience shows that the more you possess, the more you suffer, the more you occupy, the more miserable you are. You should not confuse means with ends. There are unnecessary means, one way or another. Happiness is not something external that you need to have, but often it is something that you do not have, and do not need to have. Happiness does not depend on what you have, nor does it lie in what you get. Happiness cannot be discussed in terms of having or not having, getting or not getting. It lies on another level of your life, in your soul.

True happiness is already present in your soul. It is the innocent state of children, until you are corrupted and poisoned by the bad and negative influences of society and culture. Therefore, happiness is not something you achieve, but it is already there. It is just lost, buried, or lost in your delusions.

You do not experience happiness all the time because you are wrong and confused in your mind and character, which makes you lose happiness. You do not feel happiness spreading because you are still burying happiness under many layers of desire, craving, greed, illusion, pride, arrogance...

There are many causes, but the cause that causes error and creates ignorance, attachment, and aversion, which is also the fundamental cause of samsara, is clinging to the false notion of a self. Because of clinging, you are constantly reborn in the six realms of samsara. Although you live in this world, if you do not cling, you will not wander in samsara. Likewise, in your homeland, you meet enemies whom you do not like, and you are attached to your family and friends. If you leave your homeland and go to live somewhere else, you will not be attached to the people there; you will see all these people as the same. However, if you do not understand the harm of clinging and aversion, you will continue to hate your opponents and cling to your friends, even when you have moved to another place. You continue to cling to those who are kind to you and hate those who are not kind to you. Therefore, you must recognize the faults of clinging and hating. If you can recognize the faults of these, there is no need to leave the country.

Observe what happens when a subtle feeling of attachment or aversion arises. Attachment and love are easily confused. Love means feeling genuine love, a wish for the happiness of another, without possessiveness, and a wish for one's happiness. A person, even with a normal understanding of karma, will temporarily put aside the understanding of karma when the feeling of anger or lust is too strong. Some of you are blinded by your emotions and act blindly. Others know that you are committing evil deeds, but cannot resist the power of your passion.

You are not liberated. You are attached to samsara because you think that you can find true happiness by satisfying your sense desires. You can also understand quite easily that anger is the cause of suffering, and you are willing to give up this negative emotion. What is more difficult for you is to realize that the real cause of your remaining in samsara is the mistaken belief that you will eventually find some happiness here. Therefore, it is more difficult to recognize your craving for worldly pleasures. You cannot escape suffering because you cannot give up this craving. But no matter how hard you try, even if you obtain what you are seeking, the craving will not go away. When you die, you will have to give it all up. However, what is retained are the negative seeds, the karmic retributions that you have created to obtain worldly pleasures. Everything is impermanent, changing every second, every minute. Nothing lasts forever, just like a drop of dew on a blade of grass. To cling to the impermanence of all things is extremely ignorant. Patrul Rinpoche taught:

- Attachment to form is like a moth attracted to a flame. Attachment to sound is like a deer fascinated by a hunter's flute. Attachment to sweetness is like a fish biting a bait. Attachment to feeling is like an elephant stuck in a swamp. Attachment to fragrance is like a bee diving headfirst into a flower to eat it.

For example, an elephant feels very happy in a cool mud puddle, but because it is too heavy, it will easily get stuck and will die if it cannot get out. In the same way, you think that the Saha world is a place of joy. At first, you feel happy, then you feel sad, and in the end, you will not find a way out like an elephant sinking in a mud puddle. You think that getting what you want will satisfy you. Once you get it, it becomes the cause of suffering. If the pros and cons of an action are equal or if the cons are more prominent, then you should not do it. This is how you should consider it before engaging in a certain pleasure. For example, if you think carefully, you will not drink too much alcohol. There is nothing wrong with drinking a little alcohol; alcohol can have a medicinal effect. But if you drink too much and get drunk, you will eventually die from drinking. If you are honest, you will realize that most of the pleasures in this life are the cause of much suffering.

These are the reasons why you want to identify yourself with the concepts, titles, names, professions, positions... that people have assigned, with respectful and sometimes very arrogant words, not only in cultural and social activities, but also in religious traditions. You are indoctrinated with those words and concepts, and consider them as essential to who you are, or what makes you valuable.

Those errors cause blindness, create a false sense of security, and lull you into temporary possessions, which society considers a status or a trendy ideology. Therefore, you need to awaken to recognize yourself in that chaos. You need to shake off illusions to escape the maze of so-called temporary happiness, to find the happiness that is being covered; as well as break all the layers of dense ignorance of the prestige and titles that people give you, to awaken thereby the source of happiness that is buried under the mud of base desires. However, it is not easy for you to break through those barriers to happiness, because you have been conditioned to those patterns in everyday life.

          You need to be aware that compassion is the source of joy for every soul, the destination and source of happiness within you. It is love that gives you the strength to break through all the layers of chaos that are blocking your soul, to illuminate the source of happiness for your life. Only when you return to the path of truth, goodness, and beauty, a soul that yearns intensely, with a faith that reaches a vital level, then your soul begins to transform and illuminate. Therefore:

- You will be happiest in life because you believe that your heart is open.

From there, you will see that happiness is certainly not something that comes from the outside into you, but from within you spreads outward to meet and share with others. Happiness is only real when it is given, not taken; it only arises from altruism. Therefore, when you know how to focus on making others happy, you will be happy, so:

- You are happiest when you have created happiness for many others.

On the contrary, unhappiness is born from selfishness. From there, you will be convinced that the time for happiness is right now, and the place for happiness is right in this life, it is expressed through a smile, with an optimistic soul, and in your warm sharing with those around you. Everything outside only contributes to the birth of happiness, but is never the source of happiness for you; you are the source of happiness for you. Only when your inner awareness gradually grows, will you realize that within you there is a true happiness, which does not depend on external things, nor others, but depends on yourself. From there, you know how to accept yourself, be content with yourself, and always feel that you are enough, like the spirit of Nguyen Cong Tru:

- Knowing enough is enough, but waiting for enough, how will it ever be enough

Knowing leisure is leisure, but waiting for leisure, how will it ever be leisure

Happiness is like that, it belongs to those who know how to be enough for themselves, not waiting for distant dreams, nor expecting great plans or brilliant works in front of others. Come back to your heart, the source of happiness.

From the above determinations, you will truly realize that happiness is a state of mind, arising from this simple affirmation:

- You can be happy in any circumstance.

Happiness does not lie in changing things or in external achievements. It is pure gold buried in the mud of base desires. When you know that nothing outside, like disappointment, failure, misunderstanding... can shake you, you have found true happiness. Therefore, in Buddhism, there is also a saying:

- When facing a situation, liking or disliking, do not ask what meditation is.

The purpose of meditation is to bring deep peace to the soul, but that is no longer necessary when all the circumstances of life no longer disturb and shake your soul. A soul that is at ease amidst the ups and downs of change, so that nothing and no one can drag, control, or steer your true and pure feelings. That is a soul filled with happiness at all times, because it is peaceful and steadfast in everything.

Happiness is a state of mind, so happiness is also a choice:

- A choice to live lovingly, harmoniously, openly, comfortably with yourself and everyone, without being hindered by the attitudes or views of others, thát is happiness.

         Each of you has your views and evaluations. The important thing to live happily is that you know how to choose a true attitude, a true view, coming from your own heart amidst the chaos and complexity of life, to beautify life from your own friendly presence. Thus, happiness in life is not being above everyone, but in a peaceful heart, close to everyone. There will inevitably be people who do not accept you, but the basic condition of happiness is that you know how to accept them, without judging or classifying.

       This may seem difficult, but remember that happiness is a choice, and choice requires giving up, forgetting oneself, according to Buddha:

       - The secret of human happiness does not lie in seeking oneself, but in forgetting oneself.

       Progress in spiritual life is an effective way to unleash happiness. It requires constant self-cultivation and self-correction, not just wanting it. The easy-going lifestyle is just a joke. You can't buy real things with fake money. Happiness is a noble thing that comes from the heart, so it also requires a noble character in all your actions.

       A German thinker gave the following secret to a happy life:

       - The most important person at this moment is the person in front of you; the most important moment at this moment is the present moment; the most important work is the duty you are doing. Just pay attention to the person in front of you, at the present moment, on the work you are doing, that is the secret to a happy life.

       The Russians also have a similar motto:

       - The most important place is where you are standing right now; the most important work is the work you are planning to do right now; the most important person is the person standing in front of you and who needs you.

       Those of you who are trying to beautify your life all have a strong determination to carry out the things you have set out. If you try your best at all costs, you may become someone who cannot control your will, suppressing this place will cause another place to burst, you may become discouraged and give up, and then everything will return to the way it was. Live the present moment with all the optimism and trust, that is the real determination that you can do effectively right now. Welcome each moment that comes as a precious gem that fortune has given you. Enjoy the small joys in every moment of your life. With such confidence, let go of all worries. Don't keep worrying and complaining, it only causes boredom, but instead raise your voice in gratitude and praise for this present moment.

       Each of your lives has shortcomings, gaps, losses, and weaknesses that cannot be compensated for, so in life, it seems that no one is completely happy. Even amid your greatest happiness, some things bother you. Life in this world has its relativities. What happiness is not bought with some suffering? What joy is not exchanged for some hard work?

       The story of Tai Ong losing his horse also shows you that. However, true happiness always lies in a state of ease amidst all favorable or unfavorable, adverse or smooth life situations. Although they are contradictory in form and external consequences, they are in harmony in meaning and internal value to perfect life, helping you to know how to relativize all events to know how to nurture your spiritual life, towards a transcendent dimension.

       Therefore, happiness does not mean there is no suffering in life. That is impossible, and also absurd and meaningless. You must grow in life in every way to perfect yourself, then suffering, adversity... and the limitations of life must be natural, as a way to purify and develop, and also an essential test to taste happiness more deeply.

In the direction of happiness in this life, the Venerable Ones encourage you to make a vow to help others, and your wisdom will grow. And as you maintain mindfulness, your wish to benefit others will grow. At first, train your mind in meditation on loving-kindness. With continued practice, you will gain personal experience and see the results of your practice. Practice is the only way to happiness. If you do not give up the desire to seek happiness for yourself and the negative emotions that arise from this desire, you will never find true happiness. If you do not give up the causes of suffering, you will have no choice but to suffer and will be unable to do anything about it. Karma is not something the Buddha created. With his wisdom that penetrates all phenomena, the Buddha saw the true nature of phenomena and taught them to you with compassion. He simply shows you that the true nature of compassion and loving-kindness is happiness, and the true nature of the ego is suffering.

        The more ego you have, the less you can care for others. Everything the Buddha taught is a method for generating Bodhicitta. You need to put these methods into practice and then practice them persistently, but you cannot expect immediate results. The purpose of your practice is for many future lives. The Buddha taught:

        - If you want to know where you will go, look at your present actions.

        You can only practice the true Dharma if you believe in karma, the law of cause and effect, and understand the preciousness of patience and love. If you do not have these as a foundation, other practices will not bring significant results. Because:

        - All suffering comes from the desire for happiness for oneself, while the fully enlightened Buddhas come from altruism. So exchange your happiness for the suffering of sentient beings. That is the practice of the Bodhisattva Path.

        All Buddhas of the past, present, and future arose from Bodhicitta. In the beginning, Shakyamuni Buddha was also an ordinary person like you. After generating Bodhicitta, he accumulated merit and finally attained perfect enlightenment. What you call merit is nothing more than love and compassion for sentient beings. If you practice morality with compassion for all sentient beings, this is called merit. If you practice morality without compassion, this is not called merit. If you truly love others, you will be able to exchange your happiness for their suffering. Some people are naturally compassionate; this is due to the merit they have accumulated in the past. You have compassion because you love others. If you don't love them, you won't care about them. But if you love others and see yourself suffering, you will feel unbearable. You can't bear to see them suffer; you want to do anything to help them escape from suffering. This is compassion. The root of all suffering is the ego. The only thing that can eliminate ego is love.

        So what you need is love and compassion. If love permeates your mind, negative karma and suffering will disappear. Thus, negative karma can be purified. Bodhicitta is the most powerful way to purify negative karma and eliminate suffering. When negative karma and ignorance are purified, negative karma will disappear like snow melting in the sunlight. If you truly understand the pain caused by ego-clinging, if you truly believe that the pursuit of personal happiness is the cause of suffering and has never brought happiness since beginningless time in samsara, then you will be able to generate the inner strength to transform your mind significantly. If you truly understand how vast the field of merit created by bodhicitta is, then benefiting others will be easy and joyful. Understanding the benefits of bodhicitta, you will never feel tired, and when you see how your love spreads to others, bringing happiness to others will become your happiness.

        You have to train your mind just like you train your muscles. If you want to train your body, you have to train it regularly. Likewise, if you want to train your mind, you have to practice it every day. Training is a gradual process. You have to be diligent and practice it every day if you want to overcome difficulties and become stronger. Every time you become aware of a thought, your mindfulness also becomes strong. Gradually, you will build up your inner strength. Therefore, you have to train your mind in all situations, not just when you encounter trouble. First, you should train your mind by becoming aware of gentle thoughts. And if you are diligent and persistent in training your mind, you will eventually be able to deal with strong thoughts. And after that, no thought or emotion will be able to disturb you anymore. Everything will be the same. And as long as the body is still in samsara, the mind will be liberated. You should try to liberate the mind rather than the body. This life is like a dream. Nothing is permanent, so suffering and happiness come and go. You must let go of attachment to things that cannot last. The thoughts of desire and attachment are the delusions of a deluded mind. Not needing anything is the best.

        Whoever also wants to live happily in life, I hope that all of you cherish this in your heart because this is the essence of all happiness in this life and the next. This is the essence of the Buddha's teachings. If there is love in your heart, even your enemies will eventually become your friends.

        In short, if you want to be happy in life, you must practice loving others, wishing them happiness, because your mind and all sentient beings are different but one. If you love others, love will permeate your mind, and therefore, they will feel happy. Love is the only cause of happiness. The nature of love is to be all-pervading, unhindered, like space. Love is the sunshine of the mind. If you can let love permeate your mind, you will awaken from the dream of ego and live happily, and you will be the happiest person in the world.

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