DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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Through each stage of life, you have different types of happiness, such as:

- When you were in the cradle, your parents loved you and cared for you, that is the happiness of childhood.

- When you reach school age, you go to school and learn many new things from your teachers. This is the happiness of being a student.

- When you leave school with a degree in hand, and go to a job at the office, this is a kind of happiness, a peaceful life, with a solid career.

- When you get married, this is the type of couple and family happiness.

- After struggling with life, you have achieved some of your wishes, and with your increasing years, you have the happiness of old age.

An overview of some happiness in life, so which happiness is yours and for you?

Although there are many types of happiness, they go through different stages of life, but truly, every happiness is yours. Because time passes, space changes, but you are still who you are. You don't realize what kind of happiness is yours because depending on your conditions and circumstances, you feel different kinds of happiness according to different paths. As talked about:

- Happiness of childhood

There are many children born into a rich family, and their parents love and care for them, of course, this child has a happy childhood. But unfortunate orphans, cannot have the love and affection of their parents, so these children cannot have a happy childhood.

- Happiness in student life:

This type of happiness is the same, there are people in a well-off family who can go to school, while poor people don't have the opportunity to go to school. Similar to other types of happiness, many lucky people enjoy all the types of happiness you need, but some unlucky people only have a little simple happiness or no happiness throughout their lives.

The topic of this article is: What kind of happiness is it for you? I want to say what kind of happiness have you had in your life?

Two of the types of happiness I mentioned you cannot control are:

- Childhood happiness and student happiness.

Because it depends on your family's circumstances, you can't control yourself. But the remaining types of happiness you can control and have when you know some principles.

So when asking the question:

- What happiness is for you?

Then the answer:

- To have any kind of happiness in life, you must have a very clear point of view. First of all, you must have the concept that happiness does not completely depend on money and fame that people waste their efforts to achieve. Reality proves that many people have reached the peak of fame or have succeeded in creating a huge fortune, but still live an insecure and tasteless life. Happiness is not that far away from you, just turn your mind towards yourself to exploit an endless source of happiness that is always available inside that you forget to chase after the shadow of happiness outside.

If you want to tap into that source of inner happiness, you should make it a goal to improve your happiness at home and work so your entire happy life will reap the benefits from this positive perspective. So you must know some basic principles that can create the necessary conditions for a peaceful life. Those prerequisite factors are:

1- Start an impressive new day

If you are the main character in the family and are a tolerant, cheerful, and dedicated person, then there will be a positive opportunity that will take you straight to the job position you are looking for. Even if you're feeling very frustrated or bored at work, try smiling and putting on a happy face, it's been proven to make you feel happier.

2- Reciprocal effects

No matter how busy you are, it's important to make time for the people closest to you. If you spend all your energy on work or always complain about your job, then you will not be able to enjoy the happiness of life. If you want to create a healthy balance between work and play, you should make sure to meet up with one of your close friends at least once a week and connect with your family. Whether it's over the phone or in person at least once a week. Then you will feel connected to the outside world. And you will be happier at work if you have love, family, and friendship in your life.

3- Maintain a positive attitude

While productivity is important, you also need to take care of your mental health. If you want to be happy then you should periodically reward yourself for completing important tasks and doing your job well in a day. You can spend ten minutes reading current news after being overwhelmed with busy work. Find whatever motivates you to get your work done, and use it as a reward after a hard day. Rewarding yourself will also give you something to look forward to during your work day.

If you are already a negative person, often whining and unprofessional, then find a way to get to know people who are happier than you to learn a few new things from them. Be persistent, and remember that your happiness at work, at home, or anywhere is up to you. Happiness is an attitude and a conscious decision. Make the right choice.

Human life is like sunlight passing back and forth every day in the sky. Youth is compared to the morning sunlight, adulthood is compared to the midday sunlight, and old age is often compared to sunsets, late afternoons, or loneliness. Old age is also compared to autumn in nature when the green leaves begin to fade and fall before the seasons change... There is a recent study by the Brooking Institute that shows a new perspective and being more optimistic about aging, and that discovery might just bring a smile to your face.

Brooking Institute is a very famous "think tank" group of experts in the United States. In recent years, research has been conducted to find out the connection between happiness and age.

Ms. Carol Graham is the leader of this research and is also the author of books such as Happiness Around the World, and The Pursuit of Happiness, An Economy of Well-Being. Ms. Graham's team has explored and researched subjects in many countries, and from different cultures, all over the world. Recently, she published her research results on the relationship between happiness and age.

Ms. Graham shared that, through her research, all the data collected confirms the same thing, that the level of happiness will increase with your age. And the graph that shows the relationship between happiness and age is a picture of a smile.

Ms. Graham shared, that according to this research, you do not need to regret or mythologize the happiness of your childhood, because happiness will grow naturally over time. Of course, it is also based on important factors such as you must have relative health and a good relationship with people around you. In fact, without these basic elements, it will be difficult for you to be happy at any age. Health problems are one of the big problems of aging, but according to her, the main thing is that you feel happier.

Ms. Graham commented that money issues always have a direct impact on personal happiness. But when your basic material needs are fulfilled, you begin to measure happiness by comparing what you have with those around you. Perhaps when you are older, you have more wisdom, know how to accept, and be more satisfied with what you have. To get this satisfaction you must practice several virtues:

1- Quiet

Your soul can control your body. Therefore, a mind harboring unwholesome thoughts is truly a great disaster, and can sometimes kill a person's entire life. On the contrary, if you abide in mindfulness, the right effort, right thinking... then your mind can bring you a peaceful and happy life.

Don't let your judgment be prejudiced or stubborn. Most judgments or decisions made while angry or excited will make you regret it later. You must keep your mind calm and consider carefully so that your judgment will not be biased.

Buddha taught:

- No enemy is more dangerous to you than human desire, hatred, and jealousy.

Indeed, only when your mind is trained and developed according to the right path will it benefit you and others.

A quiet mind does not mean being weak or negative. Your calm demeanor demonstrates the power of insight and self-control. Because when you encounter a difficult situation and still not feel anxious or confused, it is not easy. That silence must have an unparalleled power that any circumstances cannot shake. That is a prerequisite for a happy life, just as a French quote said:

- Silence and peace of mind are sweeter than pleasures.

2- Clarity

The important thing is not money, power, status, or talent, but knowing how to use and use those abilities at the right time and place to bring happiness to you and others. Because if you misuse your existing skills, it will only make you more depraved.

Many people suddenly become rich, or inherit a huge fortune from their parents, but lack wisdom and do not know how to preserve, develop, or use it properly, so that fortune will soon be lost and squandered until they go broke. Often, if wealth is not created by your intelligence and effort, you do not see its true value.

You must be brave to know your weakness, must be courageous to know your cowardice. You are not discouraged when you fail and humble when you win. You are always wise, knowing that in every situation, whether success or failure, gain or loss, joy or suffering, you will act correctly, not act blindly or extravagantly. That is a great asset, a great courage for a peaceful life.

Therefore, according to the Buddha, the assets of the Saints are faith, morality, shame, guilt, fear of sin, profound knowledge, selflessness and altruism, and especially clear wisdom. Thanks to that, they can truly achieve ultimate happiness.

3- Adaptation

You are living in a world that is always changing, but few of you realize that reality. You should not cling to traditions, customs or beliefs passed down from your ancestors. If everyone is so short-sighted, how can society evolve?

There are many traditions left over from ancient times that are not outdated because they always adapt to every social situation. But that does not mean that parents force their children to keep all traditional customs.

Let future generations keep up with society's evolution, as long as they do not exceed the moral and ethical foundation. Thus you should avoid a conflict between the two extremes of conservatives and modernists. Because both are obstacles to the inevitable neutral evolution of human society.

Neutral progress means accepting several true traditions as the universal foundation for all evolutionary trends of society. Only then will your society neither stagnate nor move too fast to the point of falling into an abyss.

Each of you is an element that makes up society, so you must bear part of the responsibility for the ups and downs, progress, and decline of the society in which you live. You have to wonder what has been done to contribute to the evolutionary order of humanity. That is the factor that ignites the creative spirit instead of being complacent with what is already there.

On the other hand, you also understand that everyone has their own opinion, so you cannot change everyone to suit your opinion. It is even more impossible to level out all the thorns and obstacles to take smooth steps on the path of life. Who goes out to sea without hoping for a calm sea, it's best to practice all your adaptability to cope with any storms that may arise. You want to have smooth steps on a road full of thorns, you need to be very careful to explore each danger. Likewise, if you want to have a peaceful and happy life, you must know how to protect yourself so that you are ready to adapt to all situations without being swept away or entangled.

4- Humility

Intellectuals use humility to measure what you do not know, so you know where there are shortcomings to supplement your knowledge to always expand. Complacency is a great obstacle to learning, cultivating, and progressing.

The Buddha himself made everyone surprised and admired when he renounced his royal power to live a humble, simple life. Even though he was completely enlightened, he still never called himself a leader. His teachings were only intended to enlighten people and never showed conceit or boasted of his knowledge or possessions.

Thanks to humility, you not only learn good and beautiful things from others but also avoid being envied or envious.

5- Patience

Be patient with all adversity and be kind to everyone. Anger only leads to a dead end with no way out. Anger not only hurts others but also harms you, because it disrupts your mental and physical life. The Dhammapada Sutra teaches:

- That person scolded me, he insulted me, he beat me, he robbed me. Whoever embraces that thought will never let go of resentment.

Therefore, holding grudges and causing resentment is not a wise, elegant attitude of a wise person. A rude action or word that cannot be restrained while angry is like an arrow that has left the bow. Once you have caused injury to others, it is difficult to forgive even if you repent a thousand times and it is too late.

Therefore, the enemy you need to defeat is not an external enemy but your anger. So you must know, the mind is both an ally and the most dangerous enemy. Remember:

- One abstinence brings nine good things.

Just like the ancients experienced and passed it on to you

06- No anxiety or depression

Your unfortunate mistake is being too worried about the future and regretting the past. It is an ambition that leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to depression, stress, fatigue, and weakness.

You cannot go back to the past to redo what has already happened, nor can you go into the future to do what has not yet happened. So follow this secret to living without anxiety. Buddha taught that:

- Let what has passed, pass away,

And:

- Never worry when the troubles have not come.

If right now, you have created for yourself too many dreams, many desires, many attachments, many possessions, and many close relationships in work, in life, in fame, and status. Then, anxiety and depression are inevitable consequences. Therefore, the Buddha taught in the Mangala Sutta, the Happiness Sutra:

- When touching life's affairs

The mind is not moved, not sad

Free and immaculate

A noble Blessing.

In short, when you want to choose what kind of happiness is for you, you need to have the courage to face reality, to see clearly to free yourself from the causes of anxiety and depression. Only then can you be free and immaculate in the midst of a life full of troubles and worries.

So what idea of ​​happiness is for you are just basic suggestions among the countless conditions I have presented to you. What you know is that happiness is partly due to the surrounding circumstances, but mostly due to your attitude. Zen master Basho wrote a Haiku:

- Is the moon or sky already bright?

Live lazily, according to your own will

So the year is over.

Whether the light of the moon or the sky is bright depends on your perspective, but never live lazily according to your wishes. Life is like a graph of the relationship between age and happiness, but all wrapped up in a smile, openness, and tolerance. If you know how to learn life's lessons and accept them wisely. And you can also practice having a happy attitude, then whatever age you live at, it will be your happiness.

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