DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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What I like most about Buddhism is the spirit of tolerance and non-discrimination. If you practice love according to Buddhist teachings, that love must extend to everyone, without excluding anyone. You not only love Buddhist teachings but also other religions' teachings. You don't think that only your view and understanding are right, while the experience and views of different traditions are wrong. That is why a true Buddhist will never wage war against other religions. Buddhism is not dogmatic. The teachings of Buddha are a path to help you transform, not a truth for you to worship and protect, especially by using violent means. Buddha once taught how you must practice to be free, not trapped by Buddhist teachings, and the idea of ​​Buddha within you.

In the direction of practicing Buddhist teachings and not being stuck in dogmas, it can be said that kindness and faith are the two most important things in social life. But today, most people cannot keep their faith, so society falls into a state of insecurity. The reality that you often encounter is that politicians always promise many things to make people believe and vote for them, but once they become leaders, whether they fulfill their promises or not is another matter.

According to public opinion polls, when politicians run for office, they always promise to do good things to win people's trust. At that time, they had the support of 60% or more of the people, but when they were elected, the number of people who trusted and supported them decreased because their words did not match their actions, or they did not do what they promised.

Therefore, you should consider following Buddha's teachings, say what you will do, and do what you promise, then you will have a position in society. Having trust in people is your living ground, living in the hearts of those who love you.

The Buddha became a monk and renounced everything, but he still had a benevolent heart that loved everyone and all species. It was the boundless love of the Buddha that deeply touched people, causing them to voluntarily worship Him, take Him into their hearts, and respectfully bow to Him. Indeed, Buddha Nirvana is several thousand years old, but he has an immense benevolent heart towards you, so people across all five continents and four seas still think of Buddha and practice according to Buddha, applying Buddha's teachings in life, that's the important thing you have to think about.

Mercy, or in other words, compassion comes from deep within the human heart. The compassion of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas hidden inside is completely real, selfless, altruistic, and different from the false compassion of ordinary people on the tip of their lips.

The benevolence of a cultivator is a natural reaction. When you see someone in distress, you help them. In the Eight Great Enlightenment Sutra, Buddha taught:

- Bodhisattvas give alms with an even mind, not thinking of this person as an enemy, that person as a relative...

So on your path of practice, don't let your good mind turn bad over time. This often happens, some people who first practice have a good mind, but after a while due to conflicts with many elements in society, if they do not have a strong mind, their good mind may change. Through that, there was a Buddhist who loved to do charity. One day he came to visit me at Duoc Su Pagoda and said:

- Dear Teacher, I don't want to do charity anymore

Seeing a Buddhist man, with a good heart to help the poor, suddenly changed to a bad heart, hating the poor and not wanting to do charity anymore. Hearing that, I asked:

- I see that you like to help the poor, and like to do charity work, but today why do you say you don't like doing this anymore?

At that time he said:

- They are greedy and selfish, even though I help them like that, they are still not satisfied.

I laughed and said:

- According to the law of cause and effect, it is because they are greedy and selfish that they are poor.

So when you have made up your mind to do good deeds, you should try to overcome the common problems in the world. As you know, if you know how to change from bad to good, it's very good, there's nothing worth mentioning. But on the contrary, if your benevolence turns bad, the merit of all your previous charitable deeds will be lost. So you should think again.

It would help if you remembered this idea on your cultivated path, especially while practicing kindness. There are good people, but you must be careful with that goodness, because it may contain bad implications. On the contrary, people who dare to point out bad things to help you move forward are good people you also need to know. That means on the path of practicing loving-kindness, you must always be aware of what you should do and what you should not do.

According to the monks' comments, to easily practice kindness, empathy is the secret for you to develop kindness and compassion. You need to note that life has meaning when you can relieve the pain of others. In today's selfish world, you may have noticed that people easily lose their hearts without compassion and do not care about the needs of others. However, Buddhists are taught to love their neighbors and each other deeply. You probably know that even though you want to love each other, you often miss many opportunities to ease the pain of others. It could just be because you are not aware of their needs. Empathy is the key to helping you open your heart and show kindness and compassion to others.

So what is empathy?

According to general opinion, empathy is sharing or understanding another person's situation, emotions, and motivations. It is also described as the ability to put oneself in another person's shoes. Therefore, to have empathy, you must first understand the other person's circumstances, and second, share that person's feelings in those circumstances. Thus, empathy is feeling from the bottom of your heart about another person's pain.

Although he did not use the word empathy, the Buddha also indirectly mentioned this virtue through the spirit of Love, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity. As a Buddhist, you must sympathize, love each other, and have mercy. The Greek word translated sympathy means:

- Suffer together with the suffering of others, or have compassion for others when they are in need.

Venerable monks also taught cultivating those feelings when advising believers:

- Be happy with other people's happiness. Sad about the sadness of others.

And care for others like yourself. Surely you agree that if you don't put yourself in other people's shoes, it will be difficult for you to love your neighbor as yourself.

Almost everyone is more or less empathetic. Is there anyone who is not moved by images of hungry people or people in need? What loving mother would leave her child crying? But not all suffering is apparent on the outside. It is difficult to understand the state of mind of someone suffering from depression, a subtle physical illness, or even an eating disorder if you have never suffered from those problems yourself! However, Buddhist teachings suggest that you can and should practice empathy for those who are not in the same situation as you.

How to cultivate empathy, according to Buddhist monks who repeatedly encourage you to follow the Buddha's example, so empathy is a virtue that needs to be cultivated. How?

Three main ways to become more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others are:

1- Listen,

By listening attentively, you will learn about the problems others are facing. And the more attentively you listen, the easier it is for the other person to confide in you. Indeed, when you listen, the other person can confidently say that you will listen to them. The other person is certain that you truly understand their problem, and the other person trusts that you sympathize with them.

2- Observe.

Not everyone will tell you how they feel or what they are experiencing. However, a keen observer will notice the discouragement of others. The ability to feel the problem is essential to the full openness that follows.

3- Use imagination.

The most effective way to stimulate empathy is to ask yourself:

- How would I feel if I were in that situation? How will I react? What will I need?

You often easier to criticize mistakes than to understand other people's feelings. However, if you try to imagine a person suffering from sadness, you will sympathize instead of condemning the other person. Your life becomes meaningful thanks to empathy. If you have food available, not many of you want to leave a child to starve. If you have empathy, you will also recognize a person's spiritual condition. This may help you overcome long-standing prejudices or traditions to reach some people. Practitioners have empathy and try to find similarities or talk about topics of interest to others to make the message of the good mind more attractive. Acts of kindness born of empathy can also make listeners more receptive to the message of liberation.

Empathy is an invaluable condition that helps you ignore the mistakes of others in life. If you try to understand the feelings of someone who has offended you, you will probably find it easier to forgive the other person. You would likely react the same way as the other person if you were in the other person's situation and had the same situations and experiences as the other person. If empathy has made people remember that we are present in this life because of the seven elements, wouldn't our empathy motivate us to forgive the imperfections of others and be like them? So you will be generous in forgiving them.

Your advice to others will be more compassionate if you understand the mood and sensitivities of the wronged person. When you empathize with others, you must remind yourself:

- I can make that mistake too. I could be in the same situation as the other person.

Empathy can also motivate you to provide practical help to the best of your ability, even though others may shy away from your help. To love in action and truth, you first need to know the special needs of others. Whether you carefully acknowledge the needs of others to want to help or not, that is empathy. So it would help if you cultivated sympathy

You may not be naturally empathetic, but you can cultivate this quality. You will have more empathy if you listen more attentively, observe more closely, and regularly put yourself in other people's shoes. As a result, you will feel motivated to show more love, kindness, and compassion toward others. Therefore, you must cultivate this virtue. Empathy will help you become a better role model. Above all, empathy will help you understand that giving is more blessing than receiving

Buddha loves all living beings and He has the perfect means to tame you to become a good person. Buddha's goal is to make everyone happy, and liberated, and reach Nirvana. Therefore, when Buddha attained enlightenment in Bodh Gaya, he wanted to enter Nirvana, because he thought that the dharma he practiced and attained was difficult for people to hear, understand, accept, and do. But in the end, because of Buddha's infinite compassion, he gave up his supreme position to return to an ordinary person to be close to and guide everyone. First, the Buddha transformed the five Kondanna brothers.

Buddha's Nirvana is nearly six thousand years old, but he has a heart of immense kindness towards us that is still there, so people across the five continents and four seas still think of him. According to Buddha, you are willing to give up material things, but if you give up everything, you will never lose it. Because first, your mind is light, not bound or miserable, on the contrary, you can look far to understand how to give up everything to gain everything like Buddha. Reality shows that the Buddha's practice and work achieved results in winning the hearts of people, from the poor to the rich, from the human world to the devil or the heavens, all have admired the Buddha over time nearly 26 centuries long. Buddha's gain is infinitely great.

Study Buddhism like that and re-examine what your spiritual path has achieved and what is beyond. If your good deeds are sown in people's hearts, when you are alive, they will respect you and when you die, you will leave a good reputation in the world and carry it to your next rebirth. As Samantabhadra Bodhisattva taught, you should not do what you cannot carry with you. The Buddha said that from the time he developed the Bodhi mind to finally becoming a Buddha, he spent countless lifetimes doing all good deeds, that is, showing kindness to sentient beings, none of which was as small as a grain of dust but Bodhisattva does not sacrifice himself to help sentient beings. In other words, if the Buddha fully demonstrates great compassion and cultivates enough benevolence, people who are against him or in favor of him will love him.

When Buddha attained enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, he remembered that in his past life, Kondanna was an evil king who had gouged out his eyes and ripped out his flesh. The Buddha felt sorry for him and went to Deer Park to save him. Theravada Buddhism also says the same. Buddha did not walk to Deer Park, but when he attained enlightenment, Buddha walked with supernatural powers. When Kondanna was transformed, the Buddha developed a mind of equality, because Kondanna harmed him and owed him something. He said Kondanna was easy to listen to. You see this, people who are good to you often look to see if there's anything bad about you. But if you meet evil people again, you will find it easy for them to love you. According to the experience of the Venerable Monks, when you see someone afraid of you, you know that they did something wrong to you in their previous life, so you say it's easy for them to listen and wait for you to speak.

At first glance, Venerable Kondanna did not want to meet the Buddha, but when Venerable Kondanna saw the Buddha approaching and he spoke to Venerable Kondanna with loving kindness, Venerable also received the Buddha's loving kindness and immediately attained Arhatship. The same was true for the four other Venerable Kondanna's fellow practitioners. This shows you that these people in previous lives had a relationship with Buddha, whether it was a favorable or unfavorable fate. And especially if you are against fate, it is easy for you to develop your mind.

Likewise, Buddha teaches you with loving-kindness. Therefore, Buddha Nirvana no longer exists in this life, but Buddha's kindness still exists, so Buddha can still preach the Dharma to you. If you have a predestined relationship with Buddha, you naturally think of Buddha, so Buddha preaches the Dharma with your mind. The Buddha's mind passes through your mind, causing you to develop the mind to practice the Bodhisattva path. Indeed, when you directly perceive the Buddha's compassion, your mind will naturally light up and you will also have compassion and treat others with compassion, so you can also transform others.

The Buddha sat and meditated in Bodh Gaya, he attained enlightenment and with his benevolent heart went straight to the mind of the Venerable Kondanna. History says that Venerable Kondanna wanted to avoid the Buddha, but wherever he turned he saw the Buddha because the Buddha was already in his mind. He avoided the Buddha because he was ashamed, but the Buddha had entered his mind, and could not avoid it.

In short, on the path of following Buddha, your starting point is to obtain Buddha's kindness by all means, and by using that kindness, you will be able to influence people and your compassion will expand to the limitless world. Wherever there are sentient beings, your mind can go, and wherever Buddha's world is, you can go. So whether it is the Pure Land of Amitabha Buddha, the Pure Land of Medicine Buddha, or the world of Prabhutaratna Buddha, etc. May everyone be blessed by the Buddha and leave this illusory body to return to the realm according to your needs.

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