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DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
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- IMPORTANT CHOICES
By Nhat Quan
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In
the countless choices you have to go through, you won't always
be right. But, before the most important choices, making wise
decisions will give you the sublime life you desire and vice
versa.
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For young people, especially those studying the path of
liberation, this is even more meaningful because you have a
whole future waiting for you. That future is to be a Buddha,
to be a Saint, to be an Immortal, to be a Compassionate
person, so making the right choices as soon as possible will
make that future clearer. If you want to have the life you
want, although there are many choices, at least as recommended
by the Venerables, you should choose five principles:
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1-
Choose a way of life
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The
way of life is the ambition and guideline of life, the
fundamental value, and the measure of your standards.
Determining your way of life is to answer the question:
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Who are you, what do you live for, what will you use your life
for, and is it worth using?
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Determining how to live is also choosing your reason to live
so that you can know where the meaning of your life lies,
whether it is considered your desired destination, or
something like:
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Ghosts show the way, demons lead the way
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In
your life. This is the most important choice, affecting all
remaining choices. Not everyone can choose the right
destination and compass for you, and as a result, their lives
will often be wasted, or extremely tragic. People are born
inherently good, but choosing a different way of life will
result in different people, different lives, and different
karma.
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2-
Choose a travel companion
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Ordinary people say:
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Older boys get wives, and older girls get husbands.
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That is common sense in worldly society, but this choice must
start with what kind of family you want to have, this is what
matters. Love is a purely emotional category, but marriage
also has a rational element. Maybe anyone can do it when
getting married, except for those who don't need to get
married or can't find the right person. However, not everyone
can find a wife or husband, and at the same time a life
partner! People often say that in all types of friends such
as:
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Social friend, soulmate, lifelong friend...
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Of
all the types of friends, choosing a life partner is the
hardest. When choosing a life partner, the first necessary
condition is love, but more importantly, both must be able to
share each other's reasons for living and values throughout
their lives. Maybe when they got married, they weren't
partners, hadn't clearly defined their way of life, and didn't
have the same values. But once they are husband and wife, they
will change each other, and change themselves to not only be
each other's husband and wife, but also a friend on the
remaining journey of life. If so, life will flourish!
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3-
Choose a job or a career
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In
life, you see there are many professions to become the
pinnacle of glory and power, such as:
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Becoming a talented politician is a great achievement;
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Becoming a great musician is also a great achievement;
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Becoming a good doctor is also a peak,
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Becoming a famous architect is also a great achievement
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Becoming a good businessman is also a great achievement
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Becoming a highly virtuous monk is also a pinnacle...
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That's why in Chinese philosophy there is a saying:
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Uneducated people are like straw and grass, and educated
people are like rice, sweet rice.
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In
ancient times, people who were educated and could become
mandarins and had titles that were high salaries for society
were often heightened. Or only focus on a certain industry or
profession, so you disregard other industries and professions.
They do not know that as a society, humans must rely on each
other, and that one profession depends on another to stand
firm. One profession depends on another to develop, thus
creating a connection for each other to survive. So when
applied in practice, there is a saying:
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First scholar, second farmer, but when you run out of rice to
eat, first farmer second scholar.
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This gives you an idea that any profession is good. Being a
good doctor is better than being a bad director. Being a good
professor is more important than being a poor principal. Being
a boss or being a soldier, being a teacher or being a worker,
being an official or being a citizen, being an owner or being
an employee... is not important. But the important thing is to
do what you are best at, suit your personality the most, and
create the most value, including financial value and social
value.
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Besides choosing the right job and career to do, you also need
to find a suitable place to work for which company,
organization, industry, field, etc. This is very important
because work is not only a place to contribute and earn a
living but also a place to learn and develop. Nowadays, you
are influenced more by where you work than where you study.
Because you all graduated from the same university, you are
all equally good at studying, but after a few years of
graduating, you will have 2 different lives, and 2 different
futures, and the reason is because you have 2 career choices
and different work.
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4-
Choose a teacher to study with
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If
in society, it is simply choosing a teacher to study, but for
those who aim for a spiritual life, there must be additional
factors:
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Choose a teacher to study, choose a place to practice.
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Thus, if there is a time when learning is always one of the
most important careers in every person's life, then people who
aim for a spiritual life and a career of learning and
liberation are important. Therefore, the Teacher here also
means the teacher of literacy and the teacher of religion.
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These are teachers in the flesh, directly enlightening your
mind and nurturing your soul. There are many teachers, but not
everyone is a true teacher, not everyone can lead students to
master the learning process and explore the endless world of
knowledge. If there is a time in your family, your parents
come first because your parents are the ones who gave birth to
you, and they also impart knowledge. However parents' real
knowledge is only limited to a certain extent, so it is
necessary to have a teacher to teach or teach religion outside
the family. That's why choosing the right person to learn from
and to respect as a teacher is so important. Talking about
teachers, some teachers love their students like their own
children, so somewhere in the ancient cultural tradition,
there is also the word:
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Master
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The
word master means both teacher and father. In addition to
lovingly teaching, he also imparts knowledge wholeheartedly.
So, besides a Buddha who loved his disciples and taught them
wholeheartedly to attain enlightenment, you also see in
Chinese Philosophy a Confucius who is also an exemplary
teacher, the story is told as follows:
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Nhan Uyen is eager to learn, is a disciple of Confucius, and
has a kind personality. One day, on the way to work, Nhan Uyen
saw a noisy crowd in front of the fabric store. He walked over
and asked, only to learn that there was a dispute between the
buyer and the seller of the fabric.
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Just hear the buyer shouting:
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3
times 8 is 23, why do you keep asking me for 24 dong?
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Nhan Uyen came to the buyer and politely said:
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Big brother, 3 times 8 is 24, how can it be 23? You
miscalculated, don't argue anymore.
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The
buyer was not convinced, pointed straight at Nhan Uyen, and
said:
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Who needs you to judge? Do you know how to calculate? If you
want to decide, the only way is to find Confucius. Whether
it's right or wrong, let him decide. Go! Let's find him to
judge.
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Nhan Uyen replied:
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Okay. If Master Confucius says you are wrong, then what should
you do?
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Buyer says:
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If I'm wrong, take my head. What if you are wrong?
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Nhan Uyen replied:
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If I'm wrong, I will resign.
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The
two made a bet like that, so they both found Confucius. After
Confucius asked clearly about the situation, he turned to Nhan
Uyen and smiled and said:
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- 3
times 8 is 23! Nhan Uyen, you lost, take down the Mandarin's
hat and give it to him.
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Nhan Uyen has never argued with his master before. Hearing
Confucius say he was wrong, he had to take off his hat and
give it to the other buyer. The buyer received the hat and was
very pleased as he walked away smiling.
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Regarding Confucius's judgment, Nhan Uyen appeared to comply,
but in his heart was not convinced. He thought that Confucius
was getting old and confused, so he didn't want to stay and
study with Confucius anymore. So the next day, Nhan Uyen came
back using the excuse that something happened at home and
wanted to take a leave of absence from school... Confucius
knew very well Nhan Uyen's thoughts, but didn't say anything,
just nodded in agreement. Before leaving, Nhan Uyen turned
back to say goodbye to Confucius. Confucius wanted Nhan Uyen
to return home safely, and also gave two instructions:
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When you encounter a thousand-year-old tree, don't stand
underneath it
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When you want to kill anyone, you must first find the reason.
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Nhan Uyen replied:
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- I
please remember, then leave.
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On
the way back, the wind blew the clouds away, thunder shook,
and it was about to rain heavily. Nhan Uyen went to a hollow
tree on the side of the road to avoid the rain. But, he
suddenly remembered what Confucius said:
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Thousands of years of ancient trees without shelter...
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Thinking to himself, the disciple followed his master's
instructions and stayed away from the hollow tree. Not long
after leaving, Nhan Uyen heard a clap of thunder, lightning
shattered that ancient tree.
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Nhan Uyen was surprised:
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Did the first sentence the master said to come true. Can I
still kill people?
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When Nhan Uyen returned home, it was already late. Not wanting
to alarm his family, Nhan Uyen used the sword he brought with
him to push the latch of the door to the room where his wife
was sleeping.
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When he got to the bed, he felt two people lying on the bed.
Nhan Uyen was extremely angry and raised his sword to
intending slash, but thought of Confucius's second sentence:
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If the murderer is unknown, do not attack.
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Then Nhan Uyen lit a lamp to see, it turned out that one
person was his wife, and the other was his sister-in-law.
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The
next day, Nhan Uyen returned to school. As soon as she saw
Confucius, Nhan Uyen immediately knelt and said:
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Master, the two sentences you said saved three people: me, my
wife and my sister-in-law! How did you know in advance what
would happen?
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Confucius helped Nhan Uyen stand up and said:
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Yesterday the weather was dry and hot, it is expected that
there will be a thunderstorm, so I remind you:
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Thousands of years of ancient trees without shelter
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You
have anger in your body and a sword in your body, so I advise
you that when killing someone for unknown reasons, do not do
it.
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Nhan Uyen bowed and said:
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Master deals like a god, disciples respect you very much!
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Confucius continued:
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- I
know very well that you asked permission to go home to rest as
an excuse. You think I'm old and confused and don't want to
study with me anymore. Think about it, I said 3 times 8 equals
23 is correct, you lost, but you lost that Mandarin hat. If I
say 3 times 8 equals 24, the other buyer lost his life. So
tell me, is a position more important or a person's life is
more important?
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Nhan Uyen suddenly woke up, knelt before Confucius, and said:
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The master pays great attention to the details, but the
disciple still thinks that the Master lacks clarity, and the
disciple is extremely ashamed.
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From then on, no matter where Confucius went, Nhan Uyen
followed and never left his master.
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Through this story, you can see how deep the love between
teacher and student is. If life's love is still like that, let
alone religious love. With the love of the path still deeply
imbued with the path of liberation, the emotions are even more
profound. That's why sometimes you fight to gain what you
think is right, but what you lose is probably more important,
so you always clearly distinguish the severity of the
situation, don't try to fight, and then regret it later. Many
things don't need to be fought over. Take a step back so you
can see the vast ocean and high sky.
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Remember, only thanks to boiling water can tea leaves give off
their fragrant scent. You have overcome many difficulties to
leave a good reputation for life. Understanding that, you will
always be grateful for life, that is the happiest.
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Education is an extremely important issue. No matter what is
unclear, let's discuss and resolve it together. Otherwise, one
wrong thought can ruin a lifetime.
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5-
Choose a friend to play with
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Talking about people is implying people and society with many
interwoven relationships, and it is those relationships that
shape a person's portrait. For example, in the West there is a
saying:
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Tell me who your friend is, and I'll tell you who you are.
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As
for our grandparents, when commenting on a certain person or
group of people, they often say:
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Horses seek horses, oxen seek oxen.
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Or:
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Near ink it's black, near light it's bright
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Except for a few very special and individual people:
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Near ink it won't be black, and near lights won't be bright
either.
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In
a person's life, in addition to a life partner, it is
necessary to have a confidant, a close friend, a confidant,
not just superficial friends, social acquaintances, and
diplomatic acquaintances. They are people who share joys and
sorrows, share values, ideals of life, and values of life.
However, they may have different paths on the journey to
establish themselves and start a career. Can say:
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Friends are each person's asset:
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So
there is also the saying:
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Rich thanks to friends, wealthy thanks to wife
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Because this is a source of sharing, encouragement, and
support when needed. However, that doesn't mean taking
advantage of your friend. On the contrary, playing with
friends needs to be determined to help each other develop and
progress. If a friendship is built in such a spirit, it will
be extremely durable and good.
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In
short:
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Choosing a way to live: Choosing a destination to orient your
life, choosing a way to steer the boat of your life
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Choosing a companion: Choosing a family, a home, a peaceful
place to return to, to be a strong refuge for each other
throughout life.
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Choosing a job to do: Choosing a career for yourself, to
realize your life's dream;
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Choosing a teacher to study, and choosing a place to practice:
It means choosing people with a good style to study, choosing
a place with a good teacher and good friends to study, to
equip oneself with understanding, and the ability to plan and
practice. Implement your life strategy. One day, when you
leave this temporary body, you will have many other future
lives waiting ahead.
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Choosing friends to play with is finding and nurturing
beautiful friendships to enrich your life.
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All
of these important choices need to be posed and practiced very
seriously so that the above specific issues include:
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a-
Who am I?
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If the answer is simple, you say you are a good person. If you
are a Buddhist, you boldly say: I am a true Buddhist disciple.
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b-
What do you live for?
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As
poet Nhat Quan once said:
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Stand indomitable and proud in the universe
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Go,
I carry my human mission
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Sitting, I sit when humanity is joyful
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Lying down, I lay down for ten thousand people to stand up.
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c-
Where will your life go?
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It's very simple, if you follow the teachings of the monks
correctly, if your life will not be born in the Buddha realm,
then in the holy realm, if not in the holy realm, then in the
human realm. But it certainly will not be reborn as an animal,
born in hell, or as a hungry ghost
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After all, you have a very holy life. That way you will have a
life worth living, which can be summarized into:
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Your Choices, your Life
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Mean:
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Your choices determine your life
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And:
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Your Values, your Fate
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Mean:
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The
values you choose will determine your destiny.
---o0o---
If you have any recommendations,
please e-mail to:
chuaduocsu@duocsu.org
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