DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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In the countless choices you have to go through, you won't always be right. But, before the most important choices, making wise decisions will give you the sublime life you desire and vice versa.

 For young people, especially those studying the path of liberation, this is even more meaningful because you have a whole future waiting for you. That future is to be a Buddha, to be a Saint, to be an Immortal, to be a Compassionate person, so making the right choices as soon as possible will make that future clearer. If you want to have the life you want, although there are many choices, at least as recommended by the Venerables, you should choose five principles:

1- Choose a way of life

The way of life is the ambition and guideline of life, the fundamental value, and the measure of your standards. Determining your way of life is to answer the question:

- Who are you, what do you live for, what will you use your life for, and is it worth using?

Determining how to live is also choosing your reason to live so that you can know where the meaning of your life lies, whether it is considered your desired destination, or something like:

- Ghosts show the way, demons lead the way

In your life. This is the most important choice, affecting all remaining choices. Not everyone can choose the right destination and compass for you, and as a result, their lives will often be wasted, or extremely tragic. People are born inherently good, but choosing a different way of life will result in different people, different lives, and different karma.

2- Choose a travel companion

Ordinary people say:

- Older boys get wives, and older girls get husbands.

That is common sense in worldly society, but this choice must start with what kind of family you want to have, this is what matters. Love is a purely emotional category, but marriage also has a rational element. Maybe anyone can do it when getting married, except for those who don't need to get married or can't find the right person. However, not everyone can find a wife or husband, and at the same time a life partner! People often say that in all types of friends such as:

- Social friend, soulmate, lifelong friend...

Of all the types of friends, choosing a life partner is the hardest. When choosing a life partner, the first necessary condition is love, but more importantly, both must be able to share each other's reasons for living and values ​​throughout their lives. Maybe when they got married, they weren't partners, hadn't clearly defined their way of life, and didn't have the same values. But once they are husband and wife, they will change each other, and change themselves to not only be each other's husband and wife, but also a friend on the remaining journey of life. If so, life will flourish!

3- Choose a job or a career

In life, you see there are many professions to become the pinnacle of glory and power, such as:

- Becoming a talented politician is a great achievement;

- Becoming a great musician is also a great achievement;

- Becoming a good doctor is also a peak,

- Becoming a famous architect is also a great achievement

- Becoming a good businessman is also a great achievement

- Becoming a highly virtuous monk is also a pinnacle...

That's why in Chinese philosophy there is a saying:

- Uneducated people are like straw and grass, and educated people are like rice, sweet rice.

In ancient times, people who were educated and could become mandarins and had titles that were high salaries for society were often heightened. Or only focus on a certain industry or profession, so you disregard other industries and professions. They do not know that as a society, humans must rely on each other, and that one profession depends on another to stand firm. One profession depends on another to develop, thus creating a connection for each other to survive. So when applied in practice, there is a saying:

- First scholar, second farmer, but when you run out of rice to eat, first farmer second scholar.

This gives you an idea that any profession is good. Being a good doctor is better than being a bad director. Being a good professor is more important than being a poor principal. Being a boss or being a soldier, being a teacher or being a worker, being an official or being a citizen, being an owner or being an employee... is not important. But the important thing is to do what you are best at, suit your personality the most, and create the most value, including financial value and social value.

Besides choosing the right job and career to do, you also need to find a suitable place to work for which company, organization, industry, field, etc. This is very important because work is not only a place to contribute and earn a living but also a place to learn and develop. Nowadays, you are influenced more by where you work than where you study. Because you all graduated from the same university, you are all equally good at studying, but after a few years of graduating, you will have 2 different lives, and 2 different futures, and the reason is because you have 2 career choices and different work.

4- Choose a teacher to study with

If in society, it is simply choosing a teacher to study, but for those who aim for a spiritual life, there must be additional factors:

- Choose a teacher to study, choose a place to practice.

Thus, if there is a time when learning is always one of the most important careers in every person's life, then people who aim for a spiritual life and a career of learning and liberation are important. Therefore, the Teacher here also means the teacher of literacy and the teacher of religion.

These are teachers in the flesh, directly enlightening your mind and nurturing your soul. There are many teachers, but not everyone is a true teacher, not everyone can lead students to master the learning process and explore the endless world of knowledge. If there is a time in your family, your parents come first because your parents are the ones who gave birth to you, and they also impart knowledge. However parents' real knowledge is only limited to a certain extent, so it is necessary to have a teacher to teach or teach religion outside the family. That's why choosing the right person to learn from and to respect as a teacher is so important. Talking about teachers, some teachers love their students like their own children, so somewhere in the ancient cultural tradition, there is also the word:

- Master

The word master means both teacher and father. In addition to lovingly teaching, he also imparts knowledge wholeheartedly. So, besides a Buddha who loved his disciples and taught them wholeheartedly to attain enlightenment, you also see in Chinese Philosophy a Confucius who is also an exemplary teacher, the story is told as follows:

Nhan Uyen is eager to learn, is a disciple of Confucius, and has a kind personality. One day, on the way to work, Nhan Uyen saw a noisy crowd in front of the fabric store. He walked over and asked, only to learn that there was a dispute between the buyer and the seller of the fabric.

Just hear the buyer shouting:

3 times 8 is 23, why do you keep asking me for 24 dong?

Nhan Uyen came to the buyer and politely said:

- Big brother, 3 times 8 is 24, how can it be 23? You miscalculated, don't argue anymore.

The buyer was not convinced, pointed straight at Nhan Uyen, and said:

- Who needs you to judge? Do you know how to calculate? If you want to decide, the only way is to find Confucius. Whether it's right or wrong, let him decide. Go! Let's find him to judge.

Nhan Uyen replied:

- Okay. If Master Confucius says you are wrong, then what should you do?

Buyer says:

- If I'm wrong, take my head. What if you are wrong?

Nhan Uyen replied:

- If I'm wrong, I will resign.

The two made a bet like that, so they both found Confucius. After Confucius asked clearly about the situation, he turned to Nhan Uyen and smiled and said:

- 3 times 8 is 23! Nhan Uyen, you lost, take down the Mandarin's hat and give it to him.

Nhan Uyen has never argued with his master before. Hearing Confucius say he was wrong, he had to take off his hat and give it to the other buyer. The buyer received the hat and was very pleased as he walked away smiling.

Regarding Confucius's judgment, Nhan Uyen appeared to comply, but in his heart was not convinced. He thought that Confucius was getting old and confused, so he didn't want to stay and study with Confucius anymore. So the next day, Nhan Uyen came back using the excuse that something happened at home and wanted to take a leave of absence from school... Confucius knew very well Nhan Uyen's thoughts, but didn't say anything, just nodded in agreement. Before leaving, Nhan Uyen turned back to say goodbye to Confucius. Confucius wanted Nhan Uyen to return home safely, and also gave two instructions:

- When you encounter a thousand-year-old tree, don't stand underneath it

When you want to kill anyone, you must first find the reason.

Nhan Uyen replied:

- I please remember, then leave.

On the way back, the wind blew the clouds away, thunder shook, and it was about to rain heavily. Nhan Uyen went to a hollow tree on the side of the road to avoid the rain. But, he suddenly remembered what Confucius said:

- Thousands of years of ancient trees without shelter...

Thinking to himself, the disciple followed his master's instructions and stayed away from the hollow tree. Not long after leaving, Nhan Uyen heard a clap of thunder, lightning shattered that ancient tree.

Nhan Uyen was surprised:

- Did the first sentence the master said to come true. Can I still kill people?

When Nhan Uyen returned home, it was already late. Not wanting to alarm his family, Nhan Uyen used the sword he brought with him to push the latch of the door to the room where his wife was sleeping.

When he got to the bed, he felt two people lying on the bed. Nhan Uyen was extremely angry and raised his sword to intending slash, but thought of Confucius's second sentence:

- If the murderer is unknown, do not attack.

Then Nhan Uyen lit a lamp to see, it turned out that one person was his wife, and the other was his sister-in-law.

The next day, Nhan Uyen returned to school. As soon as she saw Confucius, Nhan Uyen immediately knelt and said:

- Master, the two sentences you said saved three people: me, my wife and my sister-in-law! How did you know in advance what would happen?

Confucius helped Nhan Uyen stand up and said:

Yesterday the weather was dry and hot, it is expected that there will be a thunderstorm, so I remind you:

- Thousands of years of ancient trees without shelter

You have anger in your body and a sword in your body, so I advise you that when killing someone for unknown reasons, do not do it.

Nhan Uyen bowed and said:

- Master deals like a god, disciples respect you very much!

Confucius continued:

- I know very well that you asked permission to go home to rest as an excuse. You think I'm old and confused and don't want to study with me anymore. Think about it, I said 3 times 8 equals 23 is correct, you lost, but you lost that Mandarin hat. If I say 3 times 8 equals 24, the other buyer lost his life. So tell me, is a position more important or a person's life is more important?

Nhan Uyen suddenly woke up, knelt before Confucius, and said:

- The master pays great attention to the details, but the disciple still thinks that the Master lacks clarity, and the disciple is extremely ashamed.

From then on, no matter where Confucius went, Nhan Uyen followed and never left his master.

Through this story, you can see how deep the love between teacher and student is. If life's love is still like that, let alone religious love. With the love of the path still deeply imbued with the path of liberation, the emotions are even more profound. That's why sometimes you fight to gain what you think is right, but what you lose is probably more important, so you always clearly distinguish the severity of the situation, don't try to fight, and then regret it later. Many things don't need to be fought over. Take a step back so you can see the vast ocean and high sky.

Remember, only thanks to boiling water can tea leaves give off their fragrant scent. You have overcome many difficulties to leave a good reputation for life. Understanding that, you will always be grateful for life, that is the happiest.

Education is an extremely important issue. No matter what is unclear, let's discuss and resolve it together. Otherwise, one wrong thought can ruin a lifetime.

5- Choose a friend to play with

Talking about people is implying people and society with many interwoven relationships, and it is those relationships that shape a person's portrait. For example, in the West there is a saying:

- Tell me who your friend is, and I'll tell you who you are.

As for our grandparents, when commenting on a certain person or group of people, they often say:

- Horses seek horses, oxen seek oxen.

Or:

- Near ink it's black, near light it's bright

Except for a few very special and individual people:

- Near ink it won't be black, and near lights won't be bright either.

In a person's life, in addition to a life partner, it is necessary to have a confidant, a close friend, a confidant, not just superficial friends, social acquaintances, and diplomatic acquaintances. They are people who share joys and sorrows, share values, ideals of life, and values of life. However, they may have different paths on the journey to establish themselves and start a career. Can say:

- Friends are each person's asset:

So there is also the saying:

- Rich thanks to friends, wealthy thanks to wife

Because this is a source of sharing, encouragement, and support when needed. However, that doesn't mean taking advantage of your friend. On the contrary, playing with friends needs to be determined to help each other develop and progress. If a friendship is built in such a spirit, it will be extremely durable and good.

In short:

- Choosing a way to live: Choosing a destination to orient your life, choosing a way to steer the boat of your life

- Choosing a companion: Choosing a family, a home, a peaceful place to return to, to be a strong refuge for each other throughout life.

- Choosing a job to do: Choosing a career for yourself, to realize your life's dream;

- Choosing a teacher to study, and choosing a place to practice: It means choosing people with a good style to study, choosing a place with a good teacher and good friends to study, to equip oneself with understanding, and the ability to plan and practice. Implement your life strategy. One day, when you leave this temporary body, you will have many other future lives waiting ahead.

- Choosing friends to play with is finding and nurturing beautiful friendships to enrich your life.

All of these important choices need to be posed and practiced very seriously so that the above specific issues include:

a- Who am I?

- If the answer is simple, you say you are a good person. If you are a Buddhist, you boldly say: I am a true Buddhist disciple.

b- What do you live for?

As poet Nhat Quan once said:

- Stand indomitable and proud in the universe

Go, I carry my human mission

Sitting, I sit when humanity is joyful

Lying down, I lay down for ten thousand people to stand up.

c- Where will your life go?

It's very simple, if you follow the teachings of the monks correctly, if your life will not be born in the Buddha realm, then in the holy realm, if not in the holy realm, then in the human realm. But it certainly will not be reborn as an animal, born in hell, or as a hungry ghost

After all, you have a very holy life. That way you will have a life worth living, which can be summarized into:

- Your Choices, your Life

Mean:

- Your choices determine your life

And:

Your Values, your Fate

Mean:

The values ​​you choose will determine your destiny.

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