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DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- FACING DIFFICULTIES
By Nhat Quan
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Modern life
today is full of pressures, challenges, and unpredictable
things. Life goes on by default, and there are good and bad
things that go hand in hand. One morning when you wake up, you
hope to start the day full of energy and strength with the
plans you made yesterday. And if all that goes well as usual,
that's a blessing. However, there are also times in this life
when you will encounter the worst of life on a beautiful
morning. Of course, no one can avoid or intentionally avoid
the inherent harshness of fate and predestined fate that will
come to you.
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You are
leading a peaceful life, and one day, unfortunately, you may
have to face the bad things that life wants to tease you
about. Surely you will have to be miserable and suffer a lot.
But that is common sense and something that everyone will have
to face in this life. You may face difficulties and
challenges. And also can't guarantee that all of you will
overcome it easily because among them there are strong people,
there are weak people, and ways for each to overcome
challenges, difficulties and together pole is in a different
ways. Difficulties and challenges are what happened and you
can't change what happened, so the only and best way is to
face and overcome it.
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Indeed, life's
difficulties are by their very nature a natural law for the
development and advancement of life. Every difficulty requires
you to overcome in order to perform your function, mission,
role, responsibility, and duty in the best possible way.
Although aware that difficulties are a necessary condition for
progress and a more mature life. But in the face of
difficulties, everyone is shy, anxious, complaining, and
sometimes depressed, faltering, and giving up.
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Those who are
used to fighting and winning will feel lighter in the face of
difficulties. And those who are used to living leisurely and
easily, encountering a small obstacle, as small as a grain of
sand, feels heavy. Faced with a problem, you find it difficult
or not, more or less, depending on your mood and perspective.
All that you are going through such as: Worry, fatigue,
suffering... is because you think too much about them. Let
everything go the way it was, or you will be engulfed by
unnecessary obsessions.
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Usually, you
learn more from failure than from success, so don't let
failures bring you down. Remember that once successful, you
will be easily surrounded by good things. On the contrary,
when you fail, you will have to look back at what you have
done and find the cause and the solution. Your mind moves
more, thinks more, and your personality gradually becomes
stronger. Never let failure become a hindrance to you.
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If you just
pray for things to get better, you'll never get it. Instead of
wishing that time could go back or something bad didn't
happen, it's better to change the way you think first. Whether
things turn out to be positive or not depends on how you feel.
Always remember, no matter what happens, look at yourself
first. Because life is not perfect for anyone. All the people
you have, are, and will meet have their own problems that no
one can fully understand, except for each person personally.
So, treat people with sincere, selfless, sympathetic, and
understanding eyes instead of judging, or trying to compare
yourself with them, and then see for yourself that you are not
as unhappy as you think you are. Perhaps, this advice at the
present time will make you doubt. But one day, when you have
experienced it, you will find that such advice is absolutely
correct.
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Life always
makes each person have to choose, even, will have to sacrifice
and lose a lot of things. So don't rush to blame fate, because
there are always better things waiting for you. It's just that
the time is not yet and you are not ready to embrace it.
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Everything
that happens to you has a certain meaning, so cherish what has
come to you. So spend more time with your family, friends, and
loved ones to see that sometimes there is still a lot of good
that you don't know.
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Failure is not
meant to force you to worry, be sad, disappointed, or
resentful. Instead, let yourself rest, share more with family
and friends, and let go of all worries together. Surely, you
will have more ideas and better solutions than just whining.
Because everything will pass, that is the saying that is
always true. Everything never stays in place, in Buddhist
teachings called impermanence. The important thing is that you
are willing to change, adapt and take the opportunity or not.
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When you know
you compare yourself to the richer, stop and look at the less
fortunate. Stop this habit and start comparing yourself today
with yesterday so that you have to work even harder.
Therefore, when facing a difficult period in life, want to
overcome the difficulties and challenges of life. The first
thing you have to do is get ready:
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1- Sincerity
and courage.
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You may not be
able to change the current situation for a while, but you need
to really want to confront and challenge the difficulties and
challenges that are working against you. As for the
adversities, because it has already happened, it can't be
changed anymore, but what needs to be changed is in yourself.
You need to change to adapt to adversity. To do this, you need
absolute courage and steadfastness, in Buddhist teachings
called diligence, and unsurpassed diligence. You must not
compromise yourself with an attitude of dispassion, and an
attitude of:
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- Let's see
how far I can make the rhyme
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Compromise
with yourself only makes you slide along with the difficulties
and challenges that are happening. Therefore, in order to grow
or overcome difficulties, you have to pay a painful price,
first of all, you have to be patient and persistent. One day,
this pain will work for you. Those who have the power to
succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a solid
foundation for growth with the bricks that life throws at
them. So don't be afraid to suffer for a moment. Because when
you suffer, circumstances open the door for you to grow and
readjust yourself into the valuable person you are capable of
becoming.
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2- Calm down
to consider the problem
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There is a
pretty good proverb:
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- Unchanging
mind, in the midst of life's myriad variables.
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Because life
always has unpredictable fluctuations, so in life's most
difficult situations, you need to keep your mind calm and
steady. Only then will you be truly lucid and correct in
perception? Calm will help you to look at the general problem
that you are facing, try to simplify the problem so that you
can solve it one by one until it is clear. You need to realize
that difficulties and challenges are inherent in everyone's
life and when you choose to live, you have to face and solve
it. You should also know that there are always sweet fruits
after difficult, challenging days for what you have tried to
overcome. Only you know your ability. Unless someone can see
into the bottom of your heart, see the level of passion, or
see into your soul, see all your will. Otherwise, they have no
right to tell you what you can or can't do. Because while they
may know one thing or another, they don't know you and your
abilities.
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3- How to
accept difficulties and challenges
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The question
is specified:
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- What do you
do when on the way home from work you always encounter traffic
jams?
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There's
nothing you can do but accept it. You're sure anyone who comes
home from work knows a traffic jam like that and is ready to
accept it. Difficulties and challenges too, you need to try to
accept them. Acceptance does not mean giving up but accepting
to overcome it. Imagine you are enjoying the pain, it will
also be interesting. If the happiness, the sweetness you have
experienced, then why not wonder what it would be like to
taste the pain once? Try thinking this way. Of course, you
have your choices and the design that makes up your life. You
have a choice day by day and every day:
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- Choose to
understand the value of what you have.
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- Choose to
take time for yourself.
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- Choose to do
the work that makes you smile.
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- Choose to be
with optimistic people.
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- Choose to
try again and again.
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In your
choices are all the tools and things you need to design the
life of your dreams. It's just a matter of choosing wisely
when the crisis comes, how to overcome and face the anguish of
life, the helplessness, the failure, the defeat, and the loss.
But through the path of achievement, you must learn the word
Forbearance and Tolerance.
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Because, there
are many people who often carry in their hearts the thoughts
of struggle, for personal gain, regardless of humanity,
regardless of what the other party will do if they fall into a
state of loss and suffering. But when you yourself encounter
an opponent and are defeated, you will be sad, depressed, and
unable to pick yourself up.
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Forgiveness
and tolerance will be the best medicine to help you get up and
start over. Look inside yourself, and find out what the real
problem and the core is why. There is a folk saying that:
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- Don't do to
others what you don't want.
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Go back, and
find yourself within yourself. When you realize the problem,
you will feel as if you are liberated. Life is inherently
difficult and painful, so when you do anything, you should
think of others first. Only then can the world have good hope
again.
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4- Need
positive thoughts
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Even in the
most difficult times, give yourself thought of the best. It is
not a solution to a problem, but it is the most effective way
to get you out of a temporary predicament. And to be able to
take action, solutions to the problems you are facing.
Positive thinking is like instant pain relievers. Because
every experience has a positive lesson. Don't forget to
acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don't go as
planned. If a mistake does push you back a bit, or there's a
business deal or a romantic relationship going nowhere, it
just means there's a new opportunity waiting for you. And the
lesson you just learned is the first step towards that:
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- Difficulties
will pass. It's wonderful!
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5- Time to
relax and rest.
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This is
extremely necessary when you are entangled in the most
difficult, failed, and sometimes depressed things in life.
Every pain and every wound takes time to heal. Do not force
yourself during these times, but choose for yourself some
plans for rest and entertainment. This will help you renew
yourself and give you the energy you need for the next new
thing. Remember, health is life. How you care about your
health or don't care about it can make a huge difference in
your quality of life. So when facing difficulties, instead of
worrying about skipping meals, or forgetting to sleep, you
should exercise to stay healthy. Eat to nourish your body. To
be at your best, you must give your body the energy it needs.
Throw away worries that are harmful to your health. Good
health is an essential condition for having energy, solving
difficult problems.
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6- Absolute
steadfastness.
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Difficulties
and challenges cannot be overcome quickly, because it is a
long process to struggle, overcome and improve. And in the
process of facing that difficulty, there will be times when
you feel that you are not enough, no longer have the strength
to fight anymore, and have the will to give up and let it go.
Put that thought aside and think of a time when you tried. Try
to stay consistent to the end, until you see you're fine and
better. Do not have a pessimistic attitude, because pessimism
will poison the soul. Don't let tragedy and unnecessary
pessimism stop you from living a happy, healthy life. Avoid
tragedy, focus on what really matters. Life is too short and
your time is precious, so don't waste it on trivial things.
Let go of the things that hold you back. As you clear out the
troubles in your life, you will gradually untie yourself and
follow your inner calling:
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- Be
optimistic and learn.
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No one is
saying that life is easy and smooth, just as not everyone can
avoid all the bumps and hurts in life. People often have the
notion that the more money you earn, the happier your life
will be. But how many people see the experiences and pain that
must be traded in order to have a prosperous life?
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Each
experience is an invaluable lesson that helps you recognize
your shortcomings and gradually improve. There are many people
who do not know how to make good use of this opportunity but
lament their fate, and sentimental suffering...
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Get up and
walk your way with faith, hope, and love. Remember, each
experience is a guide to your next step in life. There is no
need to cite figures on the prevalence of poverty or
undernourishment in the world. You also know that today there
are many countries that are poor in every way or there are
many families that do not have decent meals, decent clothes.
When you think of them, you will find that you are still
fuller and happier than many others. When you look at
everything around you more simply, you will see that the
immediate difficulties are just a small problem, an inevitable
part of life.
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There is a
proverb that says:
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- The happiest
people are those who give happiness to others, and see others
happy.
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Have you ever
wondered if you have ever let go of your ego and thought for
others?
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Change your
perspective a bit, don't fight for it, and be satisfied with
reality, put yourself in someone else's mind, and your life
will be full of meaning!
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Most problems
in life are related to the ego. When you think for others, you
are naturally practicing altruism, and then the problems of
the ego are no longer there.
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In short, the
difficulties, the challenges, the hardships, everything is at
your fingertips. You are completely free to choose your own
path. The Greek scientist and philosopher Aristotle once said:
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- Outstanding
excellence is never accidental. Always the result of great
determination, sincere effort, and smart action on the choice,
not the chance, that determines your destiny...
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So you don't
get caught up in today's moral slide. You have to have the
courage to go against the tide and live up to the standards of
being a good person in society. Determining your life purpose
is very important. Besides, be sincere, good-hearted and
patiently deal with everything you encounter. If you can do
that, no matter how stormy, rainy, or life's currents push
you, nothing can knock you down.
---o0o---
If you have any recommendations,
please e-mail to:
chuaduocsu@duocsu.org
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