DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

FACING DIFFICULTIES
By Nhat Quan
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Modern life today is full of pressures, challenges, and unpredictable things. Life goes on by default, and there are good and bad things that go hand in hand. One morning when you wake up, you hope to start the day full of energy and strength with the plans you made yesterday. And if all that goes well as usual, that's a blessing. However, there are also times in this life when you will encounter the worst of life on a beautiful morning. Of course, no one can avoid or intentionally avoid the inherent harshness of fate and predestined fate that will come to you.
You are leading a peaceful life, and one day, unfortunately, you may have to face the bad things that life wants to tease you about. Surely you will have to be miserable and suffer a lot. But that is common sense and something that everyone will have to face in this life. You may face difficulties and challenges. And also can't guarantee that all of you will overcome it easily because among them there are strong people, there are weak people, and ways for each to overcome challenges, difficulties and together pole is in a different ways. Difficulties and challenges are what happened and you can't change what happened, so the only and best way is to face and overcome it.
Indeed, life's difficulties are by their very nature a natural law for the development and advancement of life. Every difficulty requires you to overcome in order to perform your function, mission, role, responsibility, and duty in the best possible way. Although aware that difficulties are a necessary condition for progress and a more mature life. But in the face of difficulties, everyone is shy, anxious, complaining, and sometimes depressed, faltering, and giving up.
Those who are used to fighting and winning will feel lighter in the face of difficulties. And those who are used to living leisurely and easily, encountering a small obstacle, as small as a grain of sand, feels heavy. Faced with a problem, you find it difficult or not, more or less, depending on your mood and perspective. All that you are going through such as: Worry, fatigue, suffering... is because you think too much about them. Let everything go the way it was, or you will be engulfed by unnecessary obsessions.
Usually, you learn more from failure than from success, so don't let failures bring you down. Remember that once successful, you will be easily surrounded by good things. On the contrary, when you fail, you will have to look back at what you have done and find the cause and the solution. Your mind moves more, thinks more, and your personality gradually becomes stronger. Never let failure become a hindrance to you.
If you just pray for things to get better, you'll never get it. Instead of wishing that time could go back or something bad didn't happen, it's better to change the way you think first. Whether things turn out to be positive or not depends on how you feel. Always remember, no matter what happens, look at yourself first. Because life is not perfect for anyone. All the people you have, are, and will meet have their own problems that no one can fully understand, except for each person personally. So, treat people with sincere, selfless, sympathetic, and understanding eyes instead of judging, or trying to compare yourself with them, and then see for yourself that you are not as unhappy as you think you are. Perhaps, this advice at the present time will make you doubt. But one day, when you have experienced it, you will find that such advice is absolutely correct.
Life always makes each person have to choose, even, will have to sacrifice and lose a lot of things. So don't rush to blame fate, because there are always better things waiting for you. It's just that the time is not yet and you are not ready to embrace it.
Everything that happens to you has a certain meaning, so cherish what has come to you. So spend more time with your family, friends, and loved ones to see that sometimes there is still a lot of good that you don't know.
Failure is not meant to force you to worry, be sad, disappointed, or resentful. Instead, let yourself rest, share more with family and friends, and let go of all worries together. Surely, you will have more ideas and better solutions than just whining. Because everything will pass, that is the saying that is always true. Everything never stays in place, in Buddhist teachings called impermanence. The important thing is that you are willing to change, adapt and take the opportunity or not.
When you know you compare yourself to the richer, stop and look at the less fortunate. Stop this habit and start comparing yourself today with yesterday so that you have to work even harder. Therefore, when facing a difficult period in life, want to overcome the difficulties and challenges of life. The first thing you have to do is get ready:
1- Sincerity and courage.
You may not be able to change the current situation for a while, but you need to really want to confront and challenge the difficulties and challenges that are working against you. As for the adversities, because it has already happened, it can't be changed anymore, but what needs to be changed is in yourself. You need to change to adapt to adversity. To do this, you need absolute courage and steadfastness, in Buddhist teachings called diligence, and unsurpassed diligence. You must not compromise yourself with an attitude of dispassion, and an attitude of:
- Let's see how far I can make the rhyme
Compromise with yourself only makes you slide along with the difficulties and challenges that are happening. Therefore, in order to grow or overcome difficulties, you have to pay a painful price, first of all, you have to be patient and persistent. One day, this pain will work for you. Those who have the power to succeed in the long run are the ones who lay a solid foundation for growth with the bricks that life throws at them. So don't be afraid to suffer for a moment. Because when you suffer, circumstances open the door for you to grow and readjust yourself into the valuable person you are capable of becoming.
2- Calm down to consider the problem
There is a pretty good proverb:
- Unchanging mind, in the midst of life's myriad variables.
Because life always has unpredictable fluctuations, so in life's most difficult situations, you need to keep your mind calm and steady. Only then will you be truly lucid and correct in perception? Calm will help you to look at the general problem that you are facing, try to simplify the problem so that you can solve it one by one until it is clear. You need to realize that difficulties and challenges are inherent in everyone's life and when you choose to live, you have to face and solve it. You should also know that there are always sweet fruits after difficult, challenging days for what you have tried to overcome. Only you know your ability. Unless someone can see into the bottom of your heart, see the level of passion, or see into your soul, see all your will. Otherwise, they have no right to tell you what you can or can't do. Because while they may know one thing or another, they don't know you and your abilities.
3- How to accept difficulties and challenges
The question is specified:
- What do you do when on the way home from work you always encounter traffic jams?
There's nothing you can do but accept it. You're sure anyone who comes home from work knows a traffic jam like that and is ready to accept it. Difficulties and challenges too, you need to try to accept them. Acceptance does not mean giving up but accepting to overcome it. Imagine you are enjoying the pain, it will also be interesting. If the happiness, the sweetness you have experienced, then why not wonder what it would be like to taste the pain once? Try thinking this way. Of course, you have your choices and the design that makes up your life. You have a choice day by day and every day:
- Choose to understand the value of what you have.
- Choose to take time for yourself.
- Choose to do the work that makes you smile.
- Choose to be with optimistic people.
- Choose to try again and again.
In your choices are all the tools and things you need to design the life of your dreams. It's just a matter of choosing wisely when the crisis comes, how to overcome and face the anguish of life, the helplessness, the failure, the defeat, and the loss. But through the path of achievement, you must learn the word Forbearance and Tolerance.
Because, there are many people who often carry in their hearts the thoughts of struggle, for personal gain, regardless of humanity, regardless of what the other party will do if they fall into a state of loss and suffering. But when you yourself encounter an opponent and are defeated, you will be sad, depressed, and unable to pick yourself up.
Forgiveness and tolerance will be the best medicine to help you get up and start over. Look inside yourself, and find out what the real problem and the core is why. There is a folk saying that:
- Don't do to others what you don't want.
Go back, and find yourself within yourself. When you realize the problem, you will feel as if you are liberated. Life is inherently difficult and painful, so when you do anything, you should think of others first. Only then can the world have good hope again.
4- Need positive thoughts
Even in the most difficult times, give yourself thought of the best. It is not a solution to a problem, but it is the most effective way to get you out of a temporary predicament. And to be able to take action, solutions to the problems you are facing. Positive thinking is like instant pain relievers. Because every experience has a positive lesson. Don't forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don't go as planned. If a mistake does push you back a bit, or there's a business deal or a romantic relationship going nowhere, it just means there's a new opportunity waiting for you. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards that:
- Difficulties will pass. It's wonderful!
5- Time to relax and rest.
This is extremely necessary when you are entangled in the most difficult, failed, and sometimes depressed things in life. Every pain and every wound takes time to heal. Do not force yourself during these times, but choose for yourself some plans for rest and entertainment. This will help you renew yourself and give you the energy you need for the next new thing. Remember, health is life. How you care about your health or don't care about it can make a huge difference in your quality of life. So when facing difficulties, instead of worrying about skipping meals, or forgetting to sleep, you should exercise to stay healthy. Eat to nourish your body. To be at your best, you must give your body the energy it needs. Throw away worries that are harmful to your health. Good health is an essential condition for having energy, solving difficult problems.
6- Absolute steadfastness.
Difficulties and challenges cannot be overcome quickly, because it is a long process to struggle, overcome and improve. And in the process of facing that difficulty, there will be times when you feel that you are not enough, no longer have the strength to fight anymore, and have the will to give up and let it go. Put that thought aside and think of a time when you tried. Try to stay consistent to the end, until you see you're fine and better. Do not have a pessimistic attitude, because pessimism will poison the soul. Don't let tragedy and unnecessary pessimism stop you from living a happy, healthy life. Avoid tragedy, focus on what really matters. Life is too short and your time is precious, so don't waste it on trivial things. Let go of the things that hold you back. As you clear out the troubles in your life, you will gradually untie yourself and follow your inner calling:
- Be optimistic and learn.
No one is saying that life is easy and smooth, just as not everyone can avoid all the bumps and hurts in life. People often have the notion that the more money you earn, the happier your life will be. But how many people see the experiences and pain that must be traded in order to have a prosperous life?
Each experience is an invaluable lesson that helps you recognize your shortcomings and gradually improve. There are many people who do not know how to make good use of this opportunity but lament their fate, and sentimental suffering...
Get up and walk your way with faith, hope, and love. Remember, each experience is a guide to your next step in life. There is no need to cite figures on the prevalence of poverty or undernourishment in the world. You also know that today there are many countries that are poor in every way or there are many families that do not have decent meals, decent clothes. When you think of them, you will find that you are still fuller and happier than many others. When you look at everything around you more simply, you will see that the immediate difficulties are just a small problem, an inevitable part of life.
There is a proverb that says:
- The happiest people are those who give happiness to others, and see others happy.
Have you ever wondered if you have ever let go of your ego and thought for others?
Change your perspective a bit, don't fight for it, and be satisfied with reality, put yourself in someone else's mind, and your life will be full of meaning!
Most problems in life are related to the ego. When you think for others, you are naturally practicing altruism, and then the problems of the ego are no longer there.
In short, the difficulties, the challenges, the hardships, everything is at your fingertips. You are completely free to choose your own path. The Greek scientist and philosopher Aristotle once said:
- Outstanding excellence is never accidental. Always the result of great determination, sincere effort, and smart action on the choice, not the chance, that determines your destiny...
So you don't get caught up in today's moral slide. You have to have the courage to go against the tide and live up to the standards of being a good person in society. Determining your life purpose is very important. Besides, be sincere, good-hearted and patiently deal with everything you encounter. If you can do that, no matter how stormy, rainy, or life's currents push you, nothing can knock you down.
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