DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

HOW TO MAKE HAPPINESS
By Nhat Quan
---o0o---
Life is much shorter than you think, so it's important that you feel happy every day. Amidst the chaos of life, learning how to manage your time, practice an optimistic attitude, or appreciate what you have, is a way to live happily every day. Learning how to live happily and how to create happiness is not as difficult as some people think.
The happy creations as taught by Venerable One, are very simple:
- A happy person is someone who knows how to make your life come alive and thinks optimistically about all issues in life.
I really like the sayings of the venerable ones who often teach:
Happiness is when you feel happy. The world does not change, it always exists as it is with its own laws. Only people's thinking about the world changes.
So the way to create peace and relaxation, the most important thing is whether you yourself will change your way of thinking or not. In fact, only your way of thinking about the world changes. That is, you can control your thoughts about life. Instead of complaining that your life is boring and tasteless, appreciate and be grateful for the interesting things life has given you. Instead of complaining that your colleagues are lazy, work hard yourself and you will get great achievements….
Every day a whole bunch of problems to worry about, from food, clothes, rice, and money to health, and study... make you feel depressed, stuck, and no longer have any energy. Then you have to know how to craft your own happiness. First of all, you must have the concept of happiness. The definition of Happiness is different for each person. But with Panasonic:
- Happiness is not a destination, but a journey you go through together.
And:
- That happiness is only complete when you have someone to accompany you on the journey.
It's fate to meet each other, but it's also fate to not meet. Meeting again is fate, parting is also fate. The Saha world is vast and endless between coming and going, so meeting or not meeting you doesn't have to be painful or attached. So what is the secret to creating happiness? Charlie Hogg once said:
- Everywhere in the world, in every nation, every family, every person, there is always an argument for freedom. But the heaviest is still the shackles in their minds.
Happiness lies in the heart. Nothing is happier than peace of mind and nothing is more unhappy than torment in the soul. Living on a pile of gold and tormenting all day is like nothing. Many of you see the glamor on the outside but don't see it in each person's mind:
- Some people appear happy on the surface because they are hiding indescribable suffering.
- Some people are smiling on the outside, but there are tears in their hearts.
- Some people are often exaggerated, but in reality, there are many endless voids in spirituality...
But in fact, your own happiness and joy are not in the eyes of others but in your own mind! So, what is a happy person?
You are happy because you are a good service, first to yourself and then to your loved ones, and beyond that to the whole human community. Always remember that you have two arms:
- The dominant arm to help you,
- Non-dominant arm to help others after helping you.
Suffering people have very sad lives! Because the heartaches are too big along with their livelihood, it is not easy for their love story to grow and flourish. But in reality, everyone wants to have sweet feelings.
You often get stuck in small things because your mind is not clear, then you become weak, blind, and make wrong decisions, so the old people say that being angry is too foolish. Anger is a whirlwind that erases intelligence. You can forget what you say, but what you say will leave the listener's heart forever. Because the true value of giving is not in the big or small gift but in the giver's heart. That's life:
- Met by predestined affinity, loved by debt, and separated by destiny.
If you love someone, you will find them beautiful in every way. However, life is very diverse. Sometimes you love others but they don't love you back, there are people who love you very much but you are indifferent to them. Each person is an unknown, and the relationship between people is like the evolution of the universe is extremely complicated. Already in this physical world, there is always a collision:
- Physical collision,
- Clash of ideas,
- Emotional collision.
When people experience too much pain, people will become calloused. You always deserve what you have from good to bad. Because life is decided by you and no one else. So no matter what you do, don't give up while you're still healthy. No matter what happens, remember that life is fair. So no matter who you hurt, in the long run, it's going to hurt you back. You may not feel it right now, but it will definitely move back and circle around you. Whatever you do for others is also for yourself, what you make others go through, you will definitely experience it later. Buddhism teaches about cause and effect not to scare you, but to remind you. This is the truth, whether you believe it or not, it still exists and cannot be lost.
Coming to the Buddhist teachings is not about depositing when you lose it, but about dealing with life properly. Seeing through the impermanence of human life, you will notice a lot of things that, although you see them as good at first, will not be sustainable in the long run. Or a lot of times when you fall into agonies that seem unbearable, but then they pass quickly. Therefore, impermanence is the best suggestion for life. It puts you in the fluctuating circumstances of life that can be intellectually uplifting. Therefore, it is true that studying and practicing according to Buddhist teachings is to cultivate blessings and to have a good life in the future, but in the present, it is to tame one's own mind. You temporarily understand is to regulate your body and mind in life. Many people just want to live a long life, pray for no disease, pray for money, and have a son, but come to the monastery. While there is nothing contrary to the religious tradition of prayer, it is not a good thing in the end. So, as a Buddhist, you have a tradition of prayer, but you have to understand it thoroughly:
- Bowing is not just stooping, bowing down, but letting go of arrogance.
- Reciting the Buddha's name is not expressed in the number of sounds but in the purity of the mind.
- Clasping hands is not only closing the hands but also showing respect.
- Meditation is not sitting for so long that you can't get up, but in the mind not being shaken by the outside.
- Joy is not in the radiant face but in the pleasure and comfort in the heart.
- Purity is not in the abandonment of desires, but in the state of mind that does not seek profit.
- Almsgiving is not just giving away material things but sharing the heart of love.
- Believing in Buddhism is not learning knowledge but practicing selflessness.
There are many of you who, when eating, only specialize in choosing what you love, staying at your favorite place, making friends, and only accepting the person you like. So once you meet something you don't like, there's no way to accept it. In fact, the outside environment can't forever give you happiness, only learning to adapt to the things you don't like can you always have happiness!
Time will be the most accurate answer for true love. You have eyes to see, ears to hear, limbs to work with, a head to distinguish right from wrong, and a heart to love. There are three ways to enrich your own heart:
- Smile with compassion,
- Give
- Forgive.
Many scientific works have proven that you can actively change your attitudes and behaviors to feel happier in life. Everyone wants to be happy. That is why science has devoted much attention to this topic in recent years. Many global happiness reports have also been made. By this point, you understand that certain behaviors, attitudes, and choices affect happiness levels. Scientists believe that 40% of your happiness is within your control, with the rest determined by genetics and external factors.
This means you can do many things to take control of your happiness. And here are the principles of making happiness, summed up by scientific studies:
1- Good relationship.
You need a soul mate. When shared, joy will be doubled and sadness halved, surely you are familiar with this saying. So choose for yourself at least one soulmate among the people you meet every day.
Sharing all the joys and sorrows in life will help you to clear the problems in your heart. Besides, your soulmate will always care and encourage you when you have a sad story. On the contrary, do not forget to treat your soul mate as they did for you. Only then will the friendship last forever.
A large study followed hundreds of men for more than 70 years and found that the happiest and healthiest were the ones who built close relationships with trusted, supportive friends each other.
2- Time is better than money.
Therefore, you must learn to manage your time. This is extremely important because you only have 24 hours in a day to divide equally among all activities from work, rest, family care, or self-care. If you do not know how to organize your time, your life is easy to fall into chaos, overload, and stress.
The advice of the venerable ones is to start planning and arranging your time, deciding which issues in your life need more investment and attention.
Some studies show that happier people often wish for more time instead of money. Even approaching life with this attitude helps people feel more satisfied.
But it's still good to have money. People's happiness also increases with income level. The specific amount depends on where you live and the cost of living there.
3- Should live slower than time.
In the life of society always follow an exaggeration hustle, and enlist. If there is a time when you are in the midst of that whirlwind, it is also a good idea to step away from the hustle once in a while to review the good things in life that are recognized as happier.
4- Live in reality.
Scientists have also found that people who practice meditation feel better.
5- Share difficulties with others
According to a study in the United States, you always feel happy after giving money to others, even if it is only a small amount. Generosity towards the less fortunate also makes your family life stronger because both of you feel happy. Scientists confirm that people who do charity always feel happy because they feel their lives have more meaning than others.
6- Rejoice and forgive
Every time someone insults or talks badly behind your back makes you feel insecure and angry. Think that you don't want to accept and forgive them. When you do, your heart will be lighter and less angry. It's a way to liberate yourself rather than listen all day to see what people say about you.
Often, those of you who pay attention to other people's words have a hard time forgiving your own mistakes. There are times when you think about the past and do not forgive a foolish action you have done and then you feel insecure, guilty. This problem is most common in women.
Remember that in the past, as human beings, everyone made mistakes at least once, even serious ones. But usually, past mistakes cannot be corrected. So, instead of blaming yourself, practice forgiving yourself and try not to make the same mistake again. That way your heart will be much more peaceful.
7- Positive attitude
A person who is always thinking negatively and saying things like:
- I'm afraid if I can't do it, I'll fail...
  That person is already 50% sure of failure. So if you can't think optimistically on your own, you can talk to happy people and learn from them their sense of humor and confident way of speaking.
Add to your life dictionary phrases like:
- Grateful, cheerful, happy...
That way, you'll find positive emotions throughout the day. Each of you has the ability to cope with adversity, but not all realize it. A psychological investigation of patients on dialysis in the UK in 2005 found that, despite having to change blood up to three times a week, most patients still feel good when they are told they only have to treatment for another 3 months. But when asked to express their feelings about dialysis, all healthy people admitted that they would feel hopeless if they were in that situation.
Former Prime Minister Winston Churchill once said:
A pessimist sees difficulty in all opportunities, while an optimist finds opportunity in every difficulty.
8- Sweat every day
Physical labor and regular exercise increase endorphins, which are hormones that help create a good mood and reduce pain, and burn cortisol, the hormone that causes feelings of stress and pain, sad. Running, cycling, swimming, soccer, or aerobic exercise all cause the brain to release endorphins into the bloodstream. Therefore, to increase the concentration of this stimulant, you just need to increase the duration and intensity of exercise. That is the way to behave for those who do not know how to cultivate, but for Buddhists who know how to practice, bowing to the Buddha every morning is the best.
9- Don't be afraid of old age
Maybe you have had a lot of difficulties, so you can see black or gray everywhere you look. Train yourself in a pink way of thinking so that you balance your mental state. A survey of 2 million people in 80 countries in January 2008 found that depression is a fairly common psychological condition among people in their forties. But as you pass that age, your level of life satisfaction for the most part will increase over time. The older we get, the more we know how to get rid of the negative elements in life to focus on things that can bring joy. In general, old people always learn to be more satisfied with what they have than young people.
10- Stop whining about life!
Have you ever started and ended a day tired and stuck? Or worry about food, rice, money, health situation, work ... make you feel depressed and have no energy at all?
I have a friend who complains every day that:
- My work is not favorable at all, My colleagues are always lazy, Life is so boring, Why am I not as lucky as rich people?
And as a result, every time people see him, people feel depressed and tired.
Any of you have grueling problems to deal with, but whining about them is by no means a good solution to all problems.
In short, making happiness is very simple, nothing is as difficult as some people think. Of course, the world you live in is not a perfect world. So there are good days and bad days. You just need to know how to create peaceful happiness and you need to learn to accept the fact that things may not go according to plan, and that's fine. Instead of trying to change the things you cannot change, focus your energy on changing the things within your control.
Indeed, if you cannot achieve happiness in some high position, you can pick up a nail in the road so that it does not have a chance to puncture the wheels of passersby. Or walking an old man's hand across the street also makes you feel much happier. Because happiness sometimes begins with the smallest and simplest things in life. So in your quest to find a way to create happiness, you must always keep it in mind. Live on life:
          - Non-competition is compassion,
          - Not arguing is wisdom,
          - Not hearing or seeing is purity,
          - No rush, hurry is freedom,
          - Not being greedy is giving,
          - To cut off evil is to do good.
          - Correcting mistakes is repentance,
          - Humility is worshiping the Buddha,
          - Forgiveness is liberation,
          - To see enough is to let go,
          - The benefit of others is the benefit of oneself.
By doing so, you know how to create happiness.
---o0o---
If you have any recommendations, please e-mail to:
chuaduocsu@duocsu.org