DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- THE HARM OF SELFISHNESS
By Nhat Quan
knowing only one's own interests. Selfish people always think
about their own interests, taking personal interests as a
measure of all values, regardless of the interests of Others.
selfishness becomes a human way of life, it will lead to
personality degeneration. When selfish lifestyles become
common, traditional moral values will become strange and out
People with a
selfish lifestyle often underestimate their responsibilities
to society, indifferent to the joys and sorrows of those
around them. At the same time, they also do not appreciate the
spirit of sacrifice for the community and love: fellow human
beings, and the sharing of others.
- A selfish
lifestyle exists as a part of social life and is sometimes
covered up in many glossy and artificial forms. When you do
not dare to fight it, you are tolerating it, creating an
environment and conditions for that lifestyle to spread
one of the most common characteristics in people who only know
themselves, self-advocacy is always the first thing they aim
for, if there is no benefit to them in a certain matter, they
will not need to do anything. I think for any problem there
are underlying reasons, the main reasons leading to the
formation of someone's personality. The root causes of
selfishness are many, but there are generally some important
factors that make you selfish:
If you live
alone because you don't have a loved one or you have a reason
that your loved one is avoiding. So, for selfish people who
only know themselves, first of all, you have to understand
that you may be too used to sadness and loneliness.
Try talking to
others more, breaking down the barriers that protect you, and
letting you step out and do something together. Companionship
always requires sacrifice on both sides and if stimulated
properly, it can defeat the ego and free you from inherent
betrayed too much
sometimes comes from the same reason, being betrayed too much
will make you lose faith in others. Therefore, you become the
only target left for you to convey your personal feelings.
3- Everyone is
say that: Near ink is black, and near lights are bright. This
statement must also be true for selfish people, the deepest
cause, partly from here. Because everyone around them is
selfish, why should they do it differently? If you have
identified this problem, try to examine yourself.
This is a very
delicate case and it puts you in three situations:
- Or fight it,
- Or give it
- Or learn to
accept living with selfish people
4- You do not
fully understand the problem
selfish people don't know where selfishness is terrible,
that's why when they choose between two options, gain and
lose, immediate or long-term. And most especially, desire
often lies in the first choice of yes, they will find that
there is nothing to do far away.
But they don't
know the harm of selfishness. Selfishness causes division,
individualism, and disunity. If you want to do something big,
you have to know how to unite with many friends. And for that
reason, let go of your personal ego.
Many people do
not want to contribute and sacrifice for the collective. On
the contrary, they think for themselves, talk about themselves
too much, from the deepest point of view, also because they
are afraid. All of the above reasons have something to do with
fear, you do not dare to talk to others because they are
afraid, do not dare to understand because of fear, do not dare
to speak because of fear, and so on and so forth. Fear
overwhelms you, preventing you from getting closer to the
selfishness becomes your way of life, the spirit of sacrifice
for the community, love for fellow human beings, and sharing
with others are just lost values.
If you are not
guided, maybe you will fall selfish, your life will become
very scary. For people with a selfish lifestyle, social
ethical standards such as the spirit of sacrifice, compassion,
etc. are just strange values that have no meaning to them.
Because their only concern in life is how to benefit
themselves. Selfish people always think about themselves,
taking personal interests as a measure of all values,
regardless of the interests of others. In the collective of a
community or a number of organizations, such harmful
individuals always exist. When selfishness becomes a person's
way of life, it will lead to the degeneration of personality
and morality. When selfish lifestyles become common in life,
traditional moral values will become strange and out of place.
Meanwhile, the spirit of Buddhism is inherently traditional:
- Love people
as you love yourself.
cover torn leaves.
If you do not
pay attention to preserving, and let the selfish way of life
dominate, the good qualities of the way of liberation will
disappear, and evil will slowly dominate the human soul.
Indeed, people with a selfish lifestyle often underestimate
their responsibilities to society, indifferent to the
happiness of those around them. At the same time, they also do
not value the spirit of sacrifice for the community, love for
fellow human beings, and the sharing of others. These people
may perceive philanthropists as:
- Rice shop
- Free iced
- Free bread
idiots, idle. For them, the most important thing is that they
are still happy. They live in a way that whoever lives or dies
has nothing to do with them, so they are completely alienated
from social responsibility or the love of one's neighbor.
The harm is
like that, but sadly, this selfish lifestyle exists as a part
of social life and is sometimes disguised in many glossy and
fake forms. When you do not dare to fight it, it means that
you are tolerating, creating the environment and conditions
for that lifestyle to spread more and more. For a simple
reason, a selfish lifestyle can bring many material benefits,
and reduce responsibility to the community, so many of you
have been silent to be complicit in it. You may say:
- I'm selfish,
but I didn't hurt anyone.
reasonable at first, but living in the community without being
for anyone is irresponsible, indirectly harming the interests
of others. So you Buddhists:
- It is
necessary to fight against selfishness.
- Must know
how to live altruistically, have a sense of responsibility,
and harmoniously combine individual interests and community
As a Buddhist,
you need to spread the spirit of altruism and fight against a
selfish lifestyle. For example, not being silent about an
injustice, or withdrawing into the shell of an individual who
lives like a snail in a seashell. You must know how to live
altruistically, with a sense of responsibility, and a
harmonious combination of personal interests and community
interests to be a person with moral character.
And you must
soon realize, on a smaller scale than the family, that
selfishness has caused untold harm. Selfishness causes
families to lose the love and responsibility of family
members. Just like parents all day worry about earning a lot
of money, so money becomes the parents of their children when
they don't even know it. Because children lack parental love.
All day long, they only worry about sticking their faces in
screens, computers, TVs, Ipads… Those technological things
become their Parents. The whole family no longer has time to
sit together, each person in a corner. The house turned into a
- Who came, do
not know; Who goes, nobody cares.
has given rise to a disease that many young people today face,
autism. They shun everyone, everyone shuns them. Also, there
are many people who live very selfish lives. They live without
knowing anyone. They receive from others with a lack of
gratitude and a heartless attitude. They give to others like
drip coffee with disdain and disrespect.
people, and they are hated by the community themselves.
So, when you
see the causes and point out the consequences of a selfish
lifestyle, what do you need to do to overcome its
realize the harmful effects of a selfish lifestyle, you need
to cultivate yourself and care about helping others to build a
social community of mutual love and compassion like the
long-standing tradition of the Buddha's children. First of
all, you need to practice living caring for people around you,
ready to help people in your strength and ability. You do it
by sharing your joys, sorrows, difficulties, and struggles
with everyone around you. You learn to live an open, positive
life: Ready to receive, ready to give out of love and
protection for all beings. Those actions do not allow you to
be limited to a specific area but must start from yourself, in
your family, in the village, and out into the wider society.
In addition, you must also actively live and think for others:
Give when they have not asked, open the door when they have
not knocked, just like the Bodhisattvas who went before they
did. Live joyfully, openly, generously, and lovingly.
society has good people, bad people, perfect people, and
imperfect people. Besides those who live selfishly, society
still has a lot of people who always know how to love and live
wholeheartedly for others. A lot of people think that life is
about giving. They don't live just for themselves. They are
charitable people, helping the poor and the elderly. They are
people who know how to serve and take care of those who are
marginalized in society. They spend their lives living for
others; spend health to care for the health of others;
spending material things to help others less struggling; spend
spirit to lift people's spirits. Those are very precious
things that society of all times very much needs.
you see that each person has the ability to bring happiness
and love to others. But you also see someone who can spread
suffering to others. Those are two sides that always exist in
each person. You all want to be happy, what you need to do is
to make an effort to develop the positive and helpful aspects,
while firmly eliminating the negative. Things like lies and
deception can give you short-term satisfaction, but then
things will give you inner strength, eliminate fear and make
you more confident, easy to open up to others without barriers
of religion, culture, or any other aspect.
The ability to
recognize the good and the bad and to observe and analyze it
carefully is very important. It helps you develop human
values: Love, care, and devotion. You need compassion and love
for people not only to survive, but they are the basic
foundations of success in life. Selfish thinking not only
harms others but also prevents you from having true happiness.
On the contrary, the more you open your heart, the more
spacious and happy your life will be. To do so, you must first
Before you can
generate compassion, you need to understand what it is.
Compassion is simply the positive thoughts and thoughts that
give rise to the good things in life: Hope, courage,
determination, and inner strength. According to Buddhism,
compassion which includes the wish to free others from
suffering is loving-kindness, and helping others to be happy
You can divide
all happiness and suffering into two types: mind and body.
Among them, the mind is what affects most of you deeply. In
life, if your body is satisfied, you are barely aware of it.
However, the mind takes note of everything. Therefore, you put
more effort into creating inner peace than satisfying your
experience, the Venerable Ones believe, you can develop your
mind with regular practice. When you change your attitude,
thoughts, and positive attitudes, negative thoughts will be
eliminated and your mind will change as well.
- Change of
change overnight. The mind is very stubborn, it will resist
hasty solutions. With constant effort and faith based on
reason, when you realize change is necessary, your mind will
and wishing will not change your mind. The basis of change is
that you need to realize that, as long as you are in this
world, you will have to deal with these and other problems.
If you lose
hope, you will lose your ability to deal with these problems.
By thinking about the suffering of others, and showing
compassion towards others, your suffering becomes more
transmutable. A positive, upbeat attitude helps you see each
new obstacle as an opportunity to improve your mind. By trying
to be more compassionate each day, you can develop empathy for
the suffering of others, and a desire to help others eliminate
the pain. As a result, serenity comes to you, and inner
will change everything
You all have a
need for love. Therefore, any person you meet, in any
situation, appearance, or manners will no longer be a matter
of distinction. Despite the differences in appearance, you are
also a human on this small planet, with a need to live
together in an atmosphere of openness and cooperation.
In this day
and age, the whole planet is connected and inseparable. One
country depends on another, and in order to develop, all must
take care of each other. But you also can't put the whole
responsibility on the shoulders of politicians. Each
individual also has his or her own share of responsibilities.
change can affect the whole of humanity. Compassion is not
just a religious ideal, it is a necessary requirement for all
of humanity as a whole.
In short, for
people with a selfish lifestyle, moral standards,
self-sacrifice, and compassion are just strange values or have
no meaning. Remember that no matter what society you live in,
when you live only for yourself, of course, you will be
eliminated by society, becoming a surplus of society and your
own family. The Buddha reminds you to get rid of selfish
living habits. On the other hand, you must further strengthen
your positive, loving living to become a useful, ethical
person right with yourself, your family, and in society. Life
is to be for others, to do something for others to expect
people to do something for you
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