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DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE
By Nhat Quan
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Talking about
showing gratitude, of course, talking about people who have
helped you, you must know and be grateful for that person.
First of all, you should ask yourself:
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- Who gave you
life
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During the
nine months and ten days in your mother's womb, you depended
entirely on her for life. Like eating, feeding, and nourishing
flesh and blood, all of which come from your mother, and even
your mother's breathing helps you to survive. But, after being
born, people cut the umbilical cord and cut off contact with
the mother. At that point, you begin to breathe to live. What
a baby needs most at birth is Air. The very first cry is the
act of getting air into the lungs. Then when you grow up until
you die, you still need air as the only food, nothing can be
replaced. So, the air is essential for your life
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In fact, what
is worthy of gratitude, worship, reverence, and adoration… is
the atmosphere, not anyone else. But, does anyone appreciate,
revere and worship the atmosphere? If any of you worship the
air, people will think you are crazy, or mentally ill!
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After the
atmosphere, one needs many other things. In Buddhism, the
object of gratitude is very broad and is summarized into four
groups, which are:
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- Grace of
parents, ancestors
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- Gratitude to
the nation, the country, and those who have sacrificed for the
cause of building and defending the country;
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- The grace of
a good teacher, a good friend
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- The grace of
all sentient beings, and the ecological environment.
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Gratitude is
not only one of the moral elements but also a spiritual
method, practiced daily. As a practice in the sense of
practicing to transform and change your life, you also need to
get it right, so that you know how to show it right, avoiding
confusion and being easily led the wrong way in daily life. By
the way, I just reiterate briefly:
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1- Parents'
favor:
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The kindness
of parents, nine months of carrying, swallowing bitterness to
release sweetness to raise their children, using all means to
raise their children to grow up. All their life is devoted to
taking care of their children, even death has not stopped.
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2. The grace
of the Three Jewels and the chief monk:
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The Three
Jewels are the three jewels of Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
Even though you have made a vow to take refuge in the Three
Jewels, those who directly give to your wisdom life in you are
good knowledge, including Saint Sangha, ordinary Sangha,
Senior Master, and fellow practitioners and fellow students.
Therefore, as a Buddhist, you have to take a deep and careful
heart to appreciate the kindness of knowledge, etc. Thanks to
that, love gradually blooms, and the fire of wisdom slowly
burns, thanks so that it is easy to achieve success by
studying Buddhism.
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3. Grace of
the nation and society:
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Homeland is
the deep consciousness of each person of a nation in general.
Gratitude to the motherland is also the grace of the nation's
leaders, responsible for preserving, protecting, and
developing the country's increasingly prosperous society.
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4. The grace
of sentient beings of all kinds:
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And finally,
the grace of sentient beings to provide food, medicine,
literature, knowledge, protection...
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According to
the Buddhist doctrine of causality relative, nothing is alone,
but all as a chain, the giver and the receiver have created
harmony in life. From humans to nature, plants, flowers,
heaven, and earth. So there isn't a single moment when you
don't receive and don't give.
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Life is
produced by causal conditions, any achievements of each person
also have a relationship and correlation with many other
people, with the environment, society, and traditions in which
that person was born and raised. In contrast, with failures,
too. In view of being produced by causal conditions, mutual
responsibility cannot be avoided or denied.
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You were born
among the human community and surrounded by countless factors.
An individual grows up relying on a large community in this
society. Happiness is the reason for life that all of you wish
to have. A warm family knows how to cherish moments together,
respect and share sweets together. Happy when the children
study hard, obediently, and politely. Parents even have to
thank their children immediately because they bring joy and
motivation to them to strive for work and even when they are
rebellious and stubborn so that they bend them to follow the
path benevolent. Happiness and success in life are two reasons
that always go together, with success you will be happy, and
knowing the value of happiness will work hard to succeed.
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Gratitude does
not have to wait until July, the Ullambana season to return
filial piety, but needs to be conscious and nurtured in daily
life. The true value of gratitude not only brings serenity but
more importantly, makes each person appreciate life to live a
good life, from which to have real peace and happiness and
long term
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Commemorating
the four great graces is another way of saying gratitude,
thanks to which you are worthy to be real people. To repay the
four greatest and most important graces of human life that
anyone cannot forget. You should not only follow the dogmas
and rules of your religion, only worshiping heaven and earth,
saints or some god somewhere, but forget these graces. Or
there are people all day, all year long, worrying about being
grateful to their ancestors for giving them a job to make a
living but forgetting to be grateful to their parents.
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Only the Four
Great Graces are worthy of your daily remembrance, adoration,
and reverence, only. Because there are already all kinds of
graces needed in life. So you need to keep the memory of the
four graces is enough. Meister Eckhart, a German theologian,
born 1260-1328 said:
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- Thank you
for being your only prayer in life, that's enough!
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How can such a
simple act, such an easy thank you, change your life so much?
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According to
Meister Eckhart, one of the things that has had the most
profound impact on his life has been his realization of the
immense power of gratitude. Gratitude is just a word, but
simply a thank you is enough.
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Gratitude has
influenced everything in his life and has turned him into a
much more optimistic, positive person, a more creative person,
a more accomplished person, a husband, father, son, and
brother and sister better. And be a happier person.
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Meister
Eckhart affirms that simple gratitude will change people's
lives in an instant and positive way. He recommends that if
anyone takes the time to consider a few things gratitude can
bring to your life, and how it can change your life:
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1- Take some
time in the morning for gratitude. Please take a minute of
your morning and make it a daily habit, to remember those who
have done something good and beautiful for you, and to think
of all you are indebted to in your life. You won't think
everything in one minute, but that's enough. And that one
minute will instantly make your day better, and help you start
your day more relaxed.
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2- When you
have a difficult day, make a list of the things in your life
for which you are grateful.
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Who among you
is not indebted to many people, and many things such as Those
who gave birth to you, taught you, those who love to help you,
your health, the work you are doing, a roof to shelter you
from the sun and rain, and warm clothes on a cold winter day.
And life itself, every day you live, is also very worthy of
your gratitude.
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3- Instead of
getting angry at someone, show gratitude. This is a very
different behavior change like a 180-degree turn. Instead,
take a few deep breaths, calm yourself, and then calm down.
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Think of the
reasons you are grateful for the other person. Someone has
done something good for you. Try to find something good, even
if it's difficult. Focus on the things that make you grateful
to that person. This will change the anger then. If you feel
better, show your gratitude. You can gradually improve your
temperament, relationships, and things will be lighter and
more positive.
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4- Instead of
criticizing your lover, husband, or wife, say thank you. Just
like with your coworker, gratitude can change your marriage or
relationship. If you don't stop criticizing your husband or
wife, you are slowly ruining your marriage. You should
remember:
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Everyone needs
to talk about problems, but no one wants to be criticized
forever. When you feel frustrated, just want to criticize to
vent your anger, then try to stop, and take a deep breath. Try
to calm down, and think of what your spouse has done for you
to be grateful for.
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Say, thank you
as soon as possible. Your relationship will be better. Your
spouse will learn this from you especially if you practice
regularly. Your love will be multiplied, and everything will
be more agreeable and smooth.
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5- Instead of
complaining about your children, thank them.
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6- When faced
with a major obstacle, you must thank the difficulty. Many of
you often see difficulties in work, and in life as a bad
thing. If something goes wrong, just complaining won't solve
anything! Instead of lamenting, be grateful for those
challenges and obstacles because they are an opportunity for
you to grow, learn, and know how to do better. This will
transform you from a whining person to a positive person who
faces challenges and improves you. You will be more liked and
you will be more successful.
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7- When you
have a misfortune, a disaster, thank you for being alive. And
you can think of something else, more pleasant than this
unhappiness:
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- Be grateful
for life, you are still alive.
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Feel the
fragile beauty of impermanent life. And most of all, enjoy
life while you can.
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And Professor
Joseph Murphy (1898 - 1981), wrote books, taught advisers, and
lectured to thousands of people around the world. Joseph
Murphy says:
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- The whole
process of spirituality and material wealth can be summed up
in one word: Gratitude.
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One of the
most powerful energies you can ever experience is gratitude.
Be grateful for anything, and you will completely change your
perspective. Be grateful for your life, your lungs, your
house, or the words you are reading. Once you feel grateful,
you possess an energy that can create miracles.
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You've got a
lot of things in your life. When you compare your life with
those of people living in third-world countries, you quickly
realize that you are living like a king or a queen. You have
food, clean water, shelter as well as a refrigerator,
television set, radio, and possibly a computer. Millions of
people around the world don't have those. Realize that you are
blessed with wealth, feel grateful for life, and you will
attract more wealth.
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Gratitude can
change everything. Just start feeling genuinely grateful for
what you have. The best attitude you can inspire others with
is gratitude and appreciation. Being truly grateful for what
you have in life will automatically attract more good things
into your life.
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Be grateful
for all the difficult, challenging situations in life. Often
through these situations, you will become more mature, both
mentally and emotionally. You can learn to see each obstacle
as an opportunity to develop some new quality, skill,
understanding, or wisdom, and be grateful for those lessons.
Every challenge is an opportunity for you to grow and expand.
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Seize the
lucky opportunities, and be grateful for all that you learn in
the process. Keeping a positive attitude and appreciating
opportunities not only helps you avoid attracting more
difficult situations into your life but also creates a
positive energy field that attracts more things you really
want. Live each day with joy and gratitude. Your future will
open in strange ways.
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Gratitude, or
in other words, the gratitude of people for humans and all
species. You were born into this world, everyone receives the
favor. In the Nikayas it is recorded that, after attaining
enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, the Buddha stood still for
a distance to admire the Bodhi tree for a week. Buddha
expressed his deep gratitude to the Bodhi tree that protected
him from the sun and rain during his practice. Perhaps the
first sermon the Buddha gave to life was a lesson in
gratitude. Or in other words, it is the Blessing Sutra
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You see the
meaning of the Buddha looking at the Bodhi tree that he taught
you:
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- When a
person succeeds in something in this life, the first thing you
have to think about is not the future, but going back to the
past. Look back at the favors you have received to get the
results you are today.
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Therefore,
living a life where you do not see that relationship of grace,
and continue to seek your own interests, is not worthy to be a
disciple of the Buddha. So every hour, every minute in life,
you have to consider all the relationships, to see the grace
that you receive in life is very much. From there, you will
see the responsibility of what to do in this life, to
compensate if you do not want to be ungrateful.
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So you should
vow for the rest of your life, to live fully selflessly for
others, to repay the favor of so many people in your life that
you have received. When you live like that, it means you have
given some gratitude to life.
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Practice this
gratitude and you will always encounter good things:
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- When you
appreciate good values, other good values will often come to
you.
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- When you do
not appreciate, good values will come to you less, or when
they come, they are no longer in the best state.
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Gratitude is
not only your noble virtue but also the blessings of the
Buddhas for you. If you are not grateful for what you have,
you will not have the opportunity to be grateful for what you
will receive.
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- Gratitude
will help those who are lying on the hospital bed get well
soon. Those friends will soon get better because of your
grateful attitude. The more you appreciate the care and
treatment of doctors and nurses, the sooner you will be
healthy again. And vice versa, the staff in the hospital will
always remember you.
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- Gratitude
will strengthen your spirit.
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Do you thank
your parents for creating your shape and body, for giving you
the life you have today, for giving you a family, having loved
ones around? Do you thank your parents for giving you peace
and comfort? While there are millions of people in the world
who want to be like you but can't. They have to live in
insecurity, fluctuate in war, or suffer from poverty.
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When you feel
you are always being cared for by the loving Buddhas, you will
live a comfortable, loving life! Your gratitude is the magic
magnet that brings you the best gifts in life.
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Studies show
that once you write on the pages to express gratitude to your
parents, the three jewels, the nation, society, and sentient
beings of all kinds, you will find your life more meaningful!
Gratitude will also help you cultivate love, acceptance,
forgiveness, and generosity. Thus gratitude is not only the
greatest virtue but also the source of all other good
qualities.
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In short, it
is natural throughout your relationship with your parents,
brothers, and friends…. There will be conflicts and
disagreements. But deep in your heart, you always have
appreciation and gratitude for them, even when negative
emotions overflow. So you beg them to forgive you and you
forgive them too.
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Your parents
have shown you tremendous kindness throughout their lives.
Therefore, whenever you treat your parents badly, you must
wholeheartedly ask them to forgive you.
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You can also
repay the kindness of your parents by being careful in your
words and actions. From the day you were born, they always
take care of your happiness. They impart knowledge, nurture
you, and take care of your every need. So, if you speak or act
rudely towards your parents, even the smallest things have a
huge effect on them. Words will hurt and mean more when they
come from the mouth of the children themselves. This is the
love that parents feel for their own children.
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If your
parents get to the point where they can no longer take care of
themselves, this is the time to give your parents all the help
you can without counting. You repay your parents by caring and
taking care of them with all your heart. And when you do these
good deeds and express your gratitude, your life will have new
fruits, inner richness, and meaning. Gratitude to parents,
bringing up parents, the Buddha taught, is one of the highest
blessings.
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Similar to
other gifts such as Gratitude to the nation, the country, and
those who have sacrificed for the cause of building and
defending the country. The grace of a good teacher, a good
friend, a gift of all sentient beings, an ecological
environment ... you must always carefully accept forgiveness
and keep in mind knowing and thanking. If you can do that,
your life will definitely sublimate.
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If you have any recommendations,
please e-mail to:
chuaduocsu@duocsu.org
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