DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

THE SECRET TO
A PEACEFUL LIFE
By Nhat Quan
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In the present life, when you are faced with many worries and pressures of the environment, stress is easy to encounter. So to let go of worries and enjoy a peaceful life, what should you do?
The secret to living a peaceful life does not lie on the outside but is hidden within each of you. According to the Venerable One's guide:
- Calmness, positivity, and harmony are the best energies, or roughly the secrets to helping a person live a peaceful, happy, healthy, and long life.
So what is the secret to living a peaceful life after all?
What kind of elixir do old people live long, happy, healthy, and peaceful lives, but over the years, their limbs are still agile, and their eyes and ears are still sharp?
As a Buddhist, of course, you must understand this:
- The blessing of not killing is living a long and healthy life.
In addition, the factors that help you live happily and peacefully are the long-life people in different countries, the climate, flora, and customs are not the same, and even the lifestyles are contrasting. For example, there are old people who often drink alcohol, and there are old people who like fatty foods ..., but there is one thing in common, that is that people who live a long life are optimistic and happy, have a kind heart, are people who live in harmony with everyone around.
Elizabeth Helen Blackburn, 2009 Nobel laureate in Physiology summed it up:
- People who want to live a hundred years old, eat appropriately 25%, other things account for 25%, but the effect of psychological balance accounts for 50%.
For the Buddhists you know, psychological balance is also easy to practice. As you know greed and anger are all very dangerous factors that produce stress hormones and will cause damage to the body. The Emperor Internal Sutra is an old Chinese medicine book that states:
- Hundreds of diseases are caused by internal qi. Anger will increase internal qi, and happy qi will return to normal. When you are sad, you create qi, when you are scared, your inner qi is chaotic, when you are worried, your qi is lost.
Today, modern medicine discovers:
- Cancer, arteriosclerosis, high blood pressure, stomach ulcers, and menstrual irregularities, which means that 65-90% of diseases are related to psychological stress. Therefore, these diseases are considered diseases of the mind and body.
Thus, the secret to a peaceful life, first of all, in daily life, you should keep a psychological balance, so that you can reduce pressure from the outside. As Venerable Ones suggests, there are four things to remember:
1- Life is oriented
Your life must have a goal because there is a goal, so it can stimulate your own vitality. Indeed, a new study shows that goals create strong emotions, very useful for health. Whether there is a goal to pursue in life or not, determines your life direction, which determines your mind and physiology. A British scientist surveyed people between the ages of 40 and 90 for 7 years. The results found that living without a clear goal was twice as likely to die from illness or suicide than a group of people living with a clear goal. On the other hand, early medicine was discovered, after retirement, because the purpose of life suddenly disappeared, causing a sharp decline in spirit and health at the same time.
The reason is, if you live without a goal, then a life of indulgence or death will be the only goal. Thus, the subconscious self-destruct mechanism will quietly kick in, causing your body to decline more and more. Therefore, the practice of studying, going to the temple to listen to the Dharma, chanting, reciting the Buddha's name, or learning to sing, dance, play chess, etc. can all become goals, and moreover, they are all very likely to be accomplished. But in the items I just mentioned, the goal of going to the temple to listen to the Dharma, chanting, and reciting the Buddha's name is not only a happy and peaceful life but also increases blessings and longevity.
2- Charity work
This is an act of showing love to everyone. By doing this, you have aroused the Buddha's mind, a kind of mind of infinite peace and clarity. For the sole purpose of making people happy has a great therapeutic effect on oneself. Indeed, like the King of Oil Rockefeller, after a short period of enjoying the joy brought by money, his body deteriorated more and more. After realizing the reason for the decline in his body, he decided to focus his money and energy on charity, also finding ways to help people with difficult living circumstances. This made his mind very peaceful, and at the same time, his health condition gradually improved.
As another example, businessman Thieu Dat Phu died at the age of 107; His joy in helping others was one of the reasons for his long life. He is the founder of the Thieu Dat Phu Award, a budget fund of up to $5 billion HK dollars.
The researchers found that providing material help to others can reduce mortality by 42%; Spiritual support can help reduce mortality to 30%.
An American medical researcher wanted to understand this problem, he did a study: Take 106 students about 20 years old and divided them into 2 groups. One group volunteered to do charity work, and another group was a reserve. After 10 weeks, the volunteer group compared with the reserve group, the inflammation, cholesterol ratio, and weight were all lower.
The reason you have such a good effect is that once you do a good deed for others, and usually do good things so often, there is often a feeling of pride and joy within you hard to put into words. Accordingly, it reduces stress hormones and co-stimulates the production of healthy hormones. So one expert in mental illness and infectious diseases also said:
- Cultivating the habit of helping others is the best way to prevent melancholy.
3- Peace and filial piety are happy
Family harmony is the top secret to a peaceful life. Indeed, in a family, above and below peace, always filled with love, is the secret to living a happy, healthy, and long life. In the state of Georgia in the United States, there was an old farming woman who lived 132 years and 91 days. When she was 130 years old, a reporter asked her what the secret to her longevity was, and she replied:
- First of all, harmony in the family.
Harvard University's survey of 268 men also found:
- What is really important in a person's life is the relationship with others, without social support, the effects on health are similar to smoking and inactivity.
An American psychologist who has studied the relationship between personality and heart for 25 years has found:
- People with a narrow heart, heavy reputation, and heavy hatred, the death rate is up to 14%. As for people with generous hearts, happy-to-help people, and gentle personalities, the mortality rate is only 2.5%. The rate of heart disease is 5 times higher in the former than in the latter. When analyzing the cause, he said:
- Social relations and familiarity are not good, making a person's interior full of anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction ... will make the sympathetic nervous system often in a state of adrenaline, and stress hormones will be secreted so many.
Psychologist Maslow summarized a person's needs as follows, from lowest to highest, in order:
Physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs, and expression needs. Except for physiological needs, the rest are related to social relations and kinship. When the need is satisfied, it will bring a feeling of joy and comfort.
4- Spreading love
Spreading love is one of the noble virtues of Buddhists. Because if you give love, you will receive love in return. An American psychologist told the story of a female patient as follows:
- A few years ago, because of a broken heart, Alice suffered from anger, after leaving her hometown, she migrated to another place to live. Life here is slow, people-to-people relationships are very peaceful. Many times, even though the lane had to be lined up, there was always someone giving her way. The voluntary grace of the people here touched Alice very much. Gradually, Alice was also raised into the habit of giving way in the parking lot, which she liked to do. Every little time given brought her joy and emotions that could not be put into words. A year later, Alice's anger did not require medical treatment but resolved on its own.
That shows that, once you know how to repay the love for people, then, of course, that affection is reciprocated. Thus, even if they are strangers, they will become close friends like brothers. As for malice towards people, it will be returned in the same way. So the relationship and reaction between people, like the image when you look in the mirror. Standing in front of the mirror, no matter how you dress, the mirror will also appear as clearly as it is. That's why some of your relationships are quite turbulent, of course as a result of you all over the place fighting with other people. On the contrary, if you think of love as sweet, even if it's just a smile or a funny expression, the concentration of immune proteins in the saliva will increase, this type of antibody can strengthen the immune system, keep your body and mind healthy. An ethics professor has discovered that the nature of giving and receiving has a magical secret energy transition. That is, when you give, the return energy will return in all kinds of ways toward you. It's just that most of the situations are that you don't pay attention so you don't know…”.
In addition to dealing with psychology to live a peaceful life, you also have to apply the practical part, psychologists and medical experts have shared ten methods to help you live a happy life.
1- Wake up and sleep on time
Waking up and sleeping on time, can help you reduce stress because sleep affects memory, judgment, and mood. Research shows that most Americans live happier, healthier, longer lives if they get an extra 60-90 minutes of sleep each night.
Most people need seven to eight hours a day to get a good night's sleep. Don't sleep five hours a day during the week, then sleep ten hours a day on weekends, this imbalance will make you tired easily.
2- Think positive.
Think about at least three good deeds that you performed during the day. Good for yourself, family, or community, this will help you remind yourself of all the positive elements in your life even when you are feeling stressed.
3- Eat Healthy,
Eating healthy is key to reducing stress. So try to balance three meals in a day. You do not skip meals regardless of busy work, or any other reason. This will help stabilize the routine, providing enough energy for your body.
4- Be aware of each job
You know what you do, especially identifying the cause of your stress:
- List any possible causes of stress. Find solutions to avoid pent-up stress. Reassess personal relationships. Share openly with friends and family to get help or valuable advice.
- Be proactive in life, at work, and control your thoughts and behaviors.
- Make a list of the little everyday things that can cause headaches, and deal with them quickly to put an end to them.
- Plan daily and weekly tasks. Organized, prepared work often puts you in control of your thoughts.
- From time to time, you should renew your living space, remove unnecessary items such as old clothes, electronics, and old household appliances and rearrange them for more convenience. Try to maintain an organized and clean living space.
- Increase self-control, practice saying yes or "disagree" at the right time and place, so distinguish between should and must. Think about the must-do before the unnecessary.
5- Practice
Talk about Buddhist practice, be it chanting, reciting the Buddha's name, or meditating. All of these exercises are ways to pay attention to the present moment, helping you to adjust the way you think and feel about your experiences. Only fifteen minutes a day, if more, the better so that daily practice can reduce stress a lot. Also, get into the habit of deep breathing, which is a relaxing response to stress. Deep breathing promotes adequate oxygen exchange, which slows the heart rate and stabilizes blood pressure. Take a normal breath or two, then take a deep breath, breathing slowly through your nose, lungs, chest, and a full belly, and let your abdomen expand fully. You can also find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.
Just find a comfortable seat in a quiet place, cross your legs, place your hands on your lap, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. This will clear your mind of any negative or stressful thoughts.
6- Homage to Buddha
If there is ever a time when the average person wants to be healthy, he has to go to the gym so he can attend a yoga class, or go for a five to ten-minute jog, hike, or swim for a mile in the lake, play basketball or volleyball to help for your body to release endorphins, which are chemicals that trigger positive feelings, clear all worries in your thoughts, and help relieve pain in joints and muscles, you Buddhists can practice sitting meditation or worship the Buddha. As long as every day one hundred eight bows is enough, everything will be for the best. Just practice regularly every day, and the body is healthy, blessings increase, and wisdom is clear.
In short, the secret to living a peaceful life is not far away, but right in front of your eyes and anyone can do it, not strange, no secret at all. Each of you can do it, through which actions that are conducive to relationship harmony include:
- Praise, humor, smile, respect, yield, gentleness, tolerance, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy, loyalty, listening...
In fact, the decision for a person to live a peaceful, long, and short life is not only due to eating and exercising, but a happy and positive mood is also extremely important!
So spend time with people who have a positive mindset in life. It is best to avoid interactions with people who often stress you out.
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