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DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- KNOW STOP BEING WISE
By Nhat Quan
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In the Lotus
Sutra, Chapter illusion City tells the story of a master
leading a group of people in search of treasures, but due to
the long road and full of thorns, the group became
discouraged and wanted to give up and return. At that time
the wise master said to everyone:
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- The place
where you find the treasure is coming not far ahead.
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Having said
that, this master used his magical powers to turn it into a
city full of gold and silver treasures...
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When the
group entered the city to rest and enjoy all the comforts
for a while, everyone was healthy and excited again, he
declared:
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- This city
is temporary, the real city full of pearls is still ahead,
so if you want to get the treasure, you have to continue
forward a bit more...
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Enter
Illusion City to rest when tired, when everyone is no longer
tired, and continue to search for treasures. From the above
meaning:
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- The word
stop does not mean give up
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- Let go but
don't give up...
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In fact, in
the era of civilization and human development, you have the
wisdom that you know exactly the boundary of the limit, you
always stop before touching it. In fact, having wisdom is
knowing yourself and knowing others, and above all,
respecting yourself, and respecting others.
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Knowing when
to stop before the limits of life is that you know how to
protect your self-esteem. Overcome the limits too much, you
will trivialize yourself and gradually lose the good values
that should be yours. In this regard, a Russian writer named
Tolstoy wrote a short story:
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There was a
farmer who came every day from dawn to dusk to plow on a
small infertile piece of land, but he harvested very little.
A god sympathized with the farmer's plight, so he said to
the farmer:
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- As long as
you can run forward, all the land you run through, no matter
how big it is, the land belongs to you completely.
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So the
farmer tries to run forward, run, run! Tired, he wanted to
stop and rest, but when he thought of his wife and children
at home, he desperately tried to run forward! The farmer was
out of breath!
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But the
farmer thought that he would grow old tomorrow and needed
money to retire, so he ran forward with all his might!
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Finally, he
exhausted himself, fell down, and died! instead, he had a
lot of land with the distance he ran through, but in the
end, he kept only enough land for him to lie down on.
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Through this
story, to show you, that farmer thought about taking care of
his wife, children, and himself, and ambition emerged.
Perhaps among you, there are people like that farmer, whose
display of human greed is bottomless. Seeing the danger of
bottomless human greed, the Venerable Ones advised:
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- Don't let
ambition bind you.
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In life,
when you need to stop, stop, and be aware that in one
aspect, it is also a loss in another aspect. So you have to
be wise to give up, only then can you get more valuable
things.
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From the
story of the farmer, you think in relation to the present.
In life, you also have to work hard to create a life full of
houses and cars for your family, wife, and children...
That's true, but you also have to be very careful and know
how to stop when you see it need to be a wise person.
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I know some
Buddhists, seeing people invest in stocks, who also put
money into stocks, especially in 2001, the stock market was
very easy to get rich. If you have money to accumulate, you
can buy stocks, if you don't have money, you can borrow
money from banks to buy stocks, .. Then the 911 incident
happened, and many people became empty-handed.
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There is a
Chinese proverb that says:
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- Be careful
what you wish for!
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Everyone has
the right to wish in life, but be careful that mistakes or
failures often come from the way you start, from your
motives and goals. You often make mistakes or pay the price,
because the word profit is greed, and also because the word
Fame means status, a piece of paper. I heard somewhere on
social media a lot of talk about some people in Vietnam,
even after graduating from university, because they are
officials, they still spend a few more years of study to
upgrade their degrees. Not exactly because of the
requirements of the job, but to keep the current chair, or
to easily advance later. According to statistics from the
Ministry of Education as of 2013, there are about 9,000
professors and 24,300 doctorates, not to mention associate
doctorates and masters. There are people who work hard most
of their lives, just to get a certain job position, and then
soon retire, or fall ill.
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Someone just
heard that they took the position of general director,
director of that department, not long after receiving news
that they were sick. Mostly chronic diseases such as heart
disease, blood pressure, diabetes, or unfortunately stroke,
and cancer, including Stress caused by mental stress in mind
battles and power competition, are invisible killers which
slowly depletes you to a complete collapse.
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But if
you're already sick, you won't be able to enjoy it for long!
You can exchange your health for money, but no matter how
much money you have, you can't buy health. That is not to
say, more and more officials are greedy, newly promoted, and
have not warmed their seats, they have been caught in prison
due to corruption. Because many things can be hidden, but
houses, land, and possessions are hard to hide, and cannot
be hidden anywhere.
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There are
people who have wasted a whole life of their youth but still
can't stop the golden age of the old days until their
knuckles are completely numb but still grasping all the
empty spaces.
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In the
tendency to know how to stop and be wise, before 1975, I
knew the parents of a little monk at Long Hue Pagoda Go Vap,
whose family had a restaurant selling pork, dog meat, and
roast duck, doing very well, wealthy, but when a child
became a little monk, the little monk's mother admitted:
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- As an
animal, every animal has a soul, especially a dog closest to
humans, so killing is a sin...
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And so they
have quietly stopped this business, even though they earn
money, they will be retribution, and in fact, many people
who do this job are retribution. The retribution has come to
the dog meat sellers. Hopefully, this is also a wake-up call
for those who despite the safety and lives of consumers,
still bring to the market dirty, unhealthy foods toxic!
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In folklore,
there is a saying that:
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- Three feet
above your head there is a Spirit.
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In fact, all
your actions, every thought, and every concept are
supervised by the cause of effect, you must be responsible
for your actions and words. After all, any trouble or
unexpected outcome comes from the choices you make in the
beginning. So you're the smart one who knows to stop before
you start, by asking yourself the question:
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- Why, what
to do, and what possible consequences will happen?
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Because, the
things you have been doing, whether personal or national,
may be in line with current society's conceptions, may be in
accordance with current regulations, but are contrary to
morality, contrary to conscience, and may harm the interests
of others, of the people! It should also be made clear that:
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- Stopping
does not mean giving up or failing as some might think.
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Knowing it's
wrong or ineffective and still doing it is extreme, knowing
it's unethical or causing harm to people and still doing it
is dishonest, and all deserve condemnation.
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- Stopping
also does not mean the end but can be a new beginning.
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The grace of
superiors, often gives you more than one chance, to correct
your mistakes. Stop to move on with a new beginning, the
beginning of better, more meaningful things, that is the way
of behaving and the realm of intelligent people!
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But there
are those of you who still can't stop and still want to
accumulate more, you say it's due to work needs, but
actually for the sake of making money, you should be ready
to provide nutritious meals in luxury restaurants.
Importantly, toxic alcohol and smoke are still introduced
into the human body every day, creating incurable diseases,
and then one day having a stroke or heart attack. Although
your purpose is to serve, you still cannot avoid bad karma,
the end is still the same as the farmer. Therefore, a Thai
Can Dam once said:
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- Seeing
flowers when they are only half in bloom, and drinking wine
to the point of getting drunk, are all great pleasures.
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Therefore,
human life needs to learn moderation, know when to stop, and
know enough to be a wise person. That way, there's nothing
to worry about not having fun. When you're happy, don't be
too happy, lest you be too happy to be sad. Desires cannot
be liberal, if they are loose, you can easily cause
disasters. Drinking wine should only be a little drunk,
watching flowers should only see flowers half in bloom, that
is the great joy in life. If always pursuing, although a
full career, excess money, but in return, someone's life is
not safe and peaceful. Living in the world, being a human
must know how to practice spiritually without demanding,
working without perfection, enjoying not being enjoyed to
the end. You have to know when to stop. The act of stopping
at the right time is the attitude of a wise man. Wise in
that:
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- For others
is a tolerance, for yourself is to subtract a way to
retreat.
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The spirit
knows how to stop at the right time, the Confucius cups are
engraved with the words: Greed is harmful to yourself as
well as containing a similar philosophy of life. That is
knowing when to stop.
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Legend has
it that the old house named Tan Ky, which is an address of a
famous tourist attraction most loved by tourists in Hoi An
city, Vietnam. Not only because of the unique ancient
architecture that has been fully preserved during the past
200 years but also because of the possession of many
collections such as antique dishes, plates, vases ... rich
and diverse are on display introduce.
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Lying next
to hundreds of valuable antiques, if you don't pay
attention, no one can realize that the Confucius cup is a
precious treasure. The form of the cup is not too special,
the age is not necessarily higher than other antiques.
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However,
after learning about the background and features of this
small cup, visitors, who all want to witness firsthand the
strange uniqueness hidden behind the precious object is a
philosophy of life. When pouring water into the cup to
nearly eight parts, stop, the water does not come out. But
if the cup is filled too close to the rim, the water will
flow down from the bottom of the cup in a straight stream
until the cup is empty.
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Regarding
the origin of the Confucius cup, it is said that once
Confucius was walking through a desert. In his hunger and
thirst, he met an old man who led him to a shallow pond and
gave him a cup. Confucius drew water for himself. But when
he filled the cup and brought it to his mouth, there was no
drop left, and there was a hole in the bottom of the cup.
Each time the cup is full, it will automatically flow
through the hole. Confucius tried to close the hole, but he
couldn't.
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After so
many times, Confucius understood that if he wanted to keep
the water in the cup, he couldn't fill it up. From this
incident, Confucius came up with the theory of neutrality,
which holds that you need to know how to control your
behavior and keep your thoughts in a neutral state. The cup
that saved Confucius from his thirst and became his
philosophy later became known as the cup of Confucius and
became a mysterious legend.
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Similarly,
in the collection of Vuong Hong Sen, the Vietnamese have an
artifact that was precious during his lifetime. It was the
ancient jade cup that he named greedy and lost everything.
There is information that this cup has been lost during the
display process. The celadon ceramic cup is shaped like
seven petals, in the center of the cup is a blue fairy
statue, with a hole on one side of the statue. In addition
to the body, there are 7 floating ribs, almost spiraling and
with a hole in the middle.
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The notes
left by Mr. Vuong Hong Sen clearly stated. The jade cup is
only allowed to pour wine or water that has just touched the
mouth of the fairy, if you pour more, even a single drop,
the wine will flow out through the small hole in the bottom
of the cup without a drop remaining. Those who are fortunate
enough to witness Mr. Vuong perform once expressed interest
in this strange feature.
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According to
the philosophy of Mr. Vuong, no matter how good the wine is,
you must know when to stop, if you are greedy, you will lose
all of it without a drop. Since then, Mr. Vuong gave the
jade cup the name of admonition:
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- Greed
loses everything.
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The story
reminds people of the advice of Healer Le Van Khoi. He said
everything in this world if you know how to follow the old
saying:
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- Giving up
chopsticks while still delicious is very good for you.
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The cup of
Confucius or the cup of greed loses everything but contains
a similar philosophy of life. That is:
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- Know when
to stop.
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Or:
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- Knowing
when to stop is a wise person.
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However, not
everyone can do it like the cup of Confucius or the cup of
greed that loses everything. Besides, you also see that not
everyone follows the farmer's lifestyle. Because there are
many people, who realize that they are in a dangerous
situation, they immediately find a way to stop such as
changing jobs or regularly practicing sports, focusing on
health, and boldly avoiding the causes. disease-causing
agent. Nowadays, more and more people are following this
lifestyle. Because of:
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- Knowing to
stop is the realm of smart people
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- Knowing to
stop before starting is a realm of wisdom.
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Therefore,
the smarter way is to stop before you start, to think if you
really want to do this for the rest of your life...
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You cannot
grow up with the baggage your parents gave you. So:
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- Put in
your pocket a little strong enough to dare to say dare to do
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- A little
determination to dare to hold is to dare to let go,
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- A little
bit unintentionally to dare to remember is to dare to
forget,
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- A little
bit of reason to recognize where the sand is and what is the
rose on the way to the future
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- And a
little pride to step through the painful past and move
forward.
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And live
confidently in your steps but:
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- Stop to
rest when you feel tired,
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- Leaning
back on the place of love, bringing the fan of faith to
support,
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- Drink some
happy water, eat a piece of cake with a smile,
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- Shake off
the dirt called disappointment and sadness so that you can
move on more firmly.
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You don't
know how long your life will last, so don't be indifferent,
foolishly, but give you sadness and suffering. If you
encounter something unsatisfactory, then:
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- Stop for a
moment to let time pass,
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- Stop for a
moment to see who loves you, and who you love,
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- Stop for a
moment to know who hates you and who you hate.
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- Stop for a
moment to let the past pass
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- And pause
for a moment to realize what you need, and who you need in
this life.
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Sometimes
stopping is a wise move...
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In this
pause according to the: Lun Yu name of a
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collection
of Confucius' teachings says:
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- Listen to
the words but must see the deeds.
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In fact,
it's not just about watching what you do, it's about
watching what you don't do. Because according to Confucius,
your strength is not in how resilient you are at work, but
in knowing where to stop. That is, you know how to control
your behavior and know when to stop.
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In each of
you, there is talent and desire. However, you still need to
know where the limit is. That limit is the stopping point.
If you want within limits, then you are the wise type,
capable of helping yourself, your family, and everyone in
the world. If your desire outweighs your talent, then you
need to consider it carefully. Because of the small virtues
and great ambitions, when you are short of it, you will make
up for it with petty tricks, including crimes to achieve the
goal, then you are a dangerous person, and people will stay
away.
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So knowing
where to stop is very important. Whatever you say and do,
you need to calculate the limit and choose the right stop.
Ancestor taught:
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- Even when
you are at the top, you have to think about when you're
down.
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If a person
wants to be happy, then you must contemplate the saying
clearly:
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- Knowing
enough is not humiliating, knowing when to stop is not
dangerous
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And at the
same time must have the wisdom to live for the present
moment. The process of finding joy is also the process of
knowing when to stop, and constantly let go of yourself...
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Among the
disciples practicing the path of liberation, there was a
meditator who asked Zen master Ma To that:
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- What is
the practice?
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Zen Master
Ma To replied:
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- When you
are hungry, eat rice, you just focus on eating rice. When
you're sleepy, you just focus on sleeping.
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This
meditator was surprised and asked:
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- Others
did the same, no different from what he taught.
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Ma To
replied that:
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- No, when
they eat, they think about sleeping, when they sleep, they
think about eating. As for me, when I eat, I only focus on
eating, when I sleep, I only focus on sleeping, so it's not
the same.
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Simply put,
you live in the present moment, focus on what's in front of
you, and don't think about it. You focus on the present, do
not dwell on the past, and do not worry about things that
have not yet arisen in the future, your mind is calm and
clear, so you are always happy and peaceful.
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Psychologists prove that, if a person can concentrate on one
thing, the body and mind will be in a very calm state,
easily bringing a kind of peaceful feeling. In this day and
age, people are no longer satisfied because they are no
longer focused on a certain thing. A person, if every day is
tempted by countless news, and has many different forms of
entertainment, their ability to concentrate is easily
distracted.
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Therefore, you need to try to get rid of this feeling of
uncontrollable loss of soul, in your work and life, you need
to maintain a kind of current grasping capacity, focusing on
the moment in front of you. Only then can you have joy that
comes from within.
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The biggest
obstacle in life is yourself, if you can't break the
self-grasping, it will be very difficult for you to have
true joy. The reason you feel miserable is that you consider
yourself a failure. But this so-called failure is that
things are not what you expect. That incident to the last
minute doesn't turn out the way you expected, so you'll feel
miserable. Therefore, the process of finding joy is also the
process when you know to stop and constantly let go of the
self.
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Remember,
reducing a part of personal desire is realizing more of the
dharma's body, how light and comfortable it is, and how
simple it is! Peace of mind lies in decreasing, not in
increasing, the so-called reduction means getting rid of all
kinds of material desires that entangle the spirit, just
reduce all desires, and you will return to your kind nature
at that time initial.
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The
venerable ones also often teach:
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- Desire is
the source of all suffering.
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If you base
your happiness on the gratification of lust, then once lust
is not satisfied, the joy will follow and disappear. But
your desire is infinite, satisfied with this desire, that
desire will also arise, and from there you will sink deep
into the sea of suffering, forever unable to jump out by
yourself.
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Only
restraining one's own desires can keep the soul truly calm.
When you jump out of all temptations and do things of value,
you can have true joy.
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Wise people
know how to let go, fools only know how to give up at this
point
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Again,
letting go is not giving up, the essence of these two words
is not the same, and the results are also different.
Choosing to let go or give up is how you decide whether your
life is happy or ruined...
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Letting go
is a growth opportunity seeker. Letting go is because you
see yourself as more precious than the thing, so let go of
the thing.
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- Giving up
shows a person looking for a place to hide. Giving up is
because you can't let go of things, and eventually have to
give up on yourself.
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Wise people
know how to let go, fools only give up.
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Joy is not a
personality type, but an intellectual capacity. The best way
to deal with sadness is to forget about sadness. Knowing
satisfaction is stopping, it is letting go. No turmoil in
the mind, no stuck in love, no fear of the future, no
thinking about the past. You live in the world, being a
human without demands, working without perfection, enjoying
not being enjoyed to the end. To be a human being must know
to stop at the right time, for others is tolerance, and for
oneself is a way to retreat.
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In short,
the reason you live an unhappy life, the main cause lies in
three habits, if you are familiar with these habits, please
quit immediately:
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- Get used
to exaggerating the happiness of others.
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- Get used
to exaggerating your own suffering.
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- Get used
to taking your own suffering compared to the happiness of
others, taking out your own shortcomings compared to the
advantages of others.
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There is
nothing scarier in the world than doing things while losing
your mind, not thinking about the consequences that will
happen, and especially not knowing where to stop.
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The little
things in life are difficult in that they are simple.
Simplicity is not simply ignoring the matter, nor is it
simply childish, but the highest level of wisdom, a
manifestation of mature wisdom. The perfect is always
simple. Learn to be simple, it's actually not that simple at
all. So there is a saying:
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- Laugh and
watch the wind and clouds disappear, sit still when the
clouds rise
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Describing a
state of calm and invariable in front of the external
environment, even if the clouds disappear or reappear, you
still keep the same sitting position as the original, still
smiling, watching what is happening without being entangled
stuck in it.
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Modern
science also proves that a positive mood helps the body to
stay healthy. You know when to stop at the right time are a
wise person, you will always be happy, and the body will
secrete a hormone that elevates the state of the body. On
the contrary, if you are always resentful, your health will
deteriorate further and further.
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In the past,
people going out in the middle of the night often fell into
two cases:
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- One is
having urgent, reluctant work,
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- Two are
thieves and delinquents.
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Even if you
are a gentleman who does not do bad things, walking on the
street at night is difficult to avoid gossip and cannot stop
the dogs from barking. There are also times when you are
bright and righteous, go straight, and do things others
can't, but you can't stop people's complaints or praise.
Therefore, do not keep in mind what is wrong, don't listen
to crazy words, and don't look at bad things with your eyes.
People's mouths and tongues are basically ignored, the more
you pay attention, the more trouble you'll get. Tu Vi, a
poet of the Ming Dynasty once said:
-
- Nothing in
the world is forced, anything can be let go, and leisure is
also a pleasure. Human love has many forms, so it's like
this, so it's like that, just keep your mind at ease.
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And the
venerable ones always remind:
-
- Knowing
enough is not humiliating, and knowing when to stop is not
dangerous.
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You should
not have too much desire, you must know enough to stop at
the right time.
---o0o---
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