As you know, anger arises due to very small causes such
When dissatisfaction arises in your mind it is not called
harm, it only makes your mind unsatisfied. If you don't
get rid of it from then on, it will gradually come to an
When anger has arisen, your mind is no longer clear, then
the mind is only inclined in one direction to think that
you are absolutely right. Anger mind makes you
uncomfortable, this is the cause of anger.
The state of anger makes your mind very hot, lose all
composure. Once your mind is angry, there is no
distinction between right and wrong, the mind becomes dark
and can cause three harms:
- Anger makes the mind dark.
- Anger makes the mind not work well, especially the loss
- Anger often makes spoilers.
When your mind is no longer clear, your mind begins to tie
up the wrong karma, called the knot of hatred.
4- Knot Resentment.
Knot animosity, which means when you are angry but have
not been able to do anything about the other person, you
should try to keep it in your mind, waiting for a
convenient opportunity to do it, no matter how many years
it takes. Furthermore, anger can have many other causes.
That is, life has many problems, then anger appears,
exists, and develops in the corresponding direction.
As for the knot of hatred, one step above the stubbornness
of anger means not communicating with the person they are
angry with, moreover trying to harm them, in any case, if
the opportunity leads to them. Therefore, the harm of
attachment to anger is:
1- Make the mind restless:
Every time you remember the person who made you angry, the
mind loses its composure. If you let the stubbornness in
your mind be like knowing that you are with a wild animal,
knowing it will harm you in any convenient case, the mind
is always worried.
2- The mind is destroyed:
In case you have stubbornly been angry with the other
person when you meet that person in a deserted place, or
in a public place, you will feel anxious, breathless, and
want to avoid the other person. Therefore, the person who
still persists with anger in his heart is like a person
with a serious, metastatic disease that is getting bigger
and bigger. In the same way, the mind becomes more and
more obsessed with anger, losing its clarity and ability
1- Harm to life:
If you hold grudges or create grudges against many people
and cause many karmas, everyone will avoid you, even if
your relatives don't like you. If you are stubborn, anger
and ignorance are like a slow-exploding bomb, you don't
know when to explode, then no one dares to come near you.
Therefore, your life will be lonely, without friends, when
there is a need, no one to help.
2- Harm to jobs:
If you are a person who is obstinate and angry, you are
often hindered, because there is no one to help you, and
also because of anger, you cannot work skillfully.
Opposite of anger.
1. When it's bad, it's impossible to say it all. Speaking
of thinking of the mind, when you are angry, never think
of good deeds. When you become angry, even though you are
a highly educated person in this world, you will also
become ignorant, then it is like a madman. When your mind
is not angry, it is pure, happy, and relaxed, thinking
about everything is clear, and wisdom is clear and very
2- The Buddha taught that when angered, people lose their
virtue. Everything changes completely, you become violent
and brutal because the mind is no longer calm and cool.
When the mind is angry, the action is different and the
face is no longer beautiful and kind.
When you are not angry, from small gestures to words and
deeds, all are courteous, endearing,
3- When you are angry, you can never work perfectly,
because the mind no longer loves what you are doing. If
you have anger, you will have few friends, because few
people dare to communicate, if you do great things, it
will cause more harm, because those under you are less
likely to want to be close and never dare to say anything
even if they know that the boss does the wrong thing.
Hate and stubbornness are common things in the world,
naturally, everyone knows that they don't have to learn.
This kind of mental illness, which is greed, anger, and
delusion, often makes you miserable, frustrated, and sad
and is also the cause of reincarnation, only the great
physician, the Buddha, found a way to cure that disease.
But the method of eliminating anger and attachment to
anger must be learned and more diligent practice because
this is the method of liberation. To get rid of anger, you
- How to stop anger.
But when anger has already occurred, how to extinguish it?
- When you can stop it, how to stop the anger and not
repeat the offense again.
According to the venerable One guide, if you want to end
your anger and stubbornness, you should practice the
1- Preventing anger
As you know, the small cause of discontent is the
beginning of anger, so the first step you should take is
to prevent resentment from arising because prevention is
better than cure.
For example, if you are scolded by others, then of course
you will be angry and eventually resentful. Angry is only
the first step that is not really harmful, but it is the
next step that is anger that is significantly important.
The mind is usually like this, but since you don't often
take care of it or say it's not good to practice according
to the method taught by the Buddha when the mind arises
too quickly, there is not enough memory to observe it, so
it spontaneously arises out. Because you lack the memory
to control the mind, you feel like anger arises
immediately, while in the case of dissatisfaction, the
actual process of the mind has to go in the same order as
To stop anger, you need to be careful not to let
discontent arise when you know discontent has arisen.
The reason you can stop dissatisfaction here is that
dissatisfaction can not make the mind vibrate strongly,
memory can still control the mind. So when you become
aware, you have to bring your mind out of the situation
that makes you unhappy. In this case, it's best if you
leave somewhere else.
2- Extinguish anger
Discontent is like the fire of a match, which you can blow
out; if the fire is not extinguished while the fire is
still in the state of matches, but to the angry stage, the
fire will start to burn with a flame. But a fire with a
flame is still curable, but here, if you don't cure it in
time, the fire will explode, burning other objects. A big
fire is like anger, if you don't try to cure it, it will
burn other things like the fire of anger. When the fire
reaches other objects, it means that there is a big fire,
without calling the fire truck, the fire will burn the
whole house, the fire burns so intensely, it is difficult
to extinguish. Here, that fire is like hatred.
As mentioned above, when people get angry, they are no
longer wise enough to judge anything. Then the angry
- No more memory
- No longer know who you are.
Since you have no memory and no longer know who you are,
let delusion enter your mind. The fact that your mind acts
very quickly, and your lack of memory and not knowing who
you are, the more dangerous it is. When your mind is
angry, fighting with others, at that moment if there is a
very short interval in your mind that makes you calm,
perceive everything. That is to be wise, if you have
enough memory and know yourself, taking that opportunity
to suppress anger means you avoid going elsewhere.
Especially returning to mindfulness, or using wisdom to
observe the sin of anger; and thinking about impermanence,
suffering, and not-self, when you do that, your mind will
be at peace.
The truth is that in this world, everyone has the
opportunity to get angry, but very few people can continue
to be angry for 30 minutes in a row. If there is, then it
must be very tired after that. And while anger like that
also has a brief moment of silence, if you want to quell
anger you should try to watch the mind extinguish it. So,
when you are first dissatisfied, or when you are angry,
you should immediately take the opportunity to avoid it,
that is, you must have memory and should know you to
prevent it from arising in your mind.
3- Stop anger
Anger is like a burning fire, and hatred is like an
underground coal fire. If there is a time when you have
eliminated anger, but you have to remove hatred to end
anger. To do this, you must realize, as a human being,
that you live more for life than for yourself. So when
someone touches your ego, it makes you dissatisfied
immediately. Sometimes you also want not to be angry, but
think that if you hold back, people will think you are
stupid or afraid so you don't dare to protest.. etc.
Therefore, if you resist and cause injustice and hatred,
in the end, you only live for the world. If you are
patient, everything will be fine. But you know what, when
you fight against the external situation to overcome it,
you yourself are also troubled inside, which is anger. If
you lose to the external circumstances, you will only have
a little discomfort, but if you lose the inner defilement
is anger, you will suffer forever without knowing how life
will end. That is when you win the person who made you
angry then you also create an unjust and sinful grudge
against that person in the future. So the Buddha taught
- Winning yourself is noble.
The body here is the Buddha who wants to show the mind. So
you are a Buddhist, so trying to overcome your mind is
called absolute victory. Because when you overcome the
mind, you no longer have anger, you have no hatred, no
fear of revenge, the mind is relaxed, peaceful, and
liberated. So you should practice patience, and compassion
and always be alert. This method is the method of teaching
your mind to be calm in the circumstances and should make
the mind cool. When you teach your mind to be calm, cool,
and relaxed in situations that make you angry, not only
will you be happy and content yourself, but your wife and
children, or husband and children, relatives, and friends,
and your partner is also happy.
In addition to the three methods mentioned above, to deal
with anger, the venerable ones also suggest three more
a- Don't Care
In this case, you use your intellect to see that
everything that comes to you is irrelevant. For example,
if the other person scolds you, you should think:
- I don't know what they told me?
I didn't hear it, please say it again.
If you don't ask again because you heard clearly, then you
should find out why the person scolded you? The most
important thing is to admit that it comes from you. More
than that, you should also think:
- He or she was being burned by the fire of anger because
he could not control his anger, so he scolded me.
Then you should also be patient without needing to quarrel
with the lunatic. Moreover, you are a disciple of the
Buddha, he taught that anger is the source of the sins of
samsara, he often taught sentient beings to give up greed,
hatred, and delusion, but you as his disciple should
practice according to his word to repay the kindness his
teachings are innumerable. You should not let the
intellectuals criticize and scorn and the world loathes.
When you think like that, your heart is no longer busy
with world affairs, winning or losing, competing for fame
and fortune with others, then suddenly the scolding is not
b- Practice loving-kindness & compassion.
When your mind is angered by others, you should
immediately feel pity for the person who made you angry,
that pity is the compassion and loving-kindness in
Buddhism. You should think:
- Anger makes people lose their temper and do bad things,
even losing their good qualities. People, because of their
anger, are miserable, and can't stand it, so they reveal
what the intellectuals criticize. So I don't get angry
because of that, on the contrary, I should pity that
person more. If I don't dodge quickly, I'll enter the ring
the same way, and will make the world laugh. And that is
the source of my reincarnation.
To do this, you must at least train your mind to have
loving-kindness and compassion, before encountering
circumstances that make you angry. If you wait until
things happen to practice loving-kindness and compassion,
you will certainly not be able to do it. You have to
practice first before you can show loving-kindness and
compassion. Those who have never practiced loving-kindness
and compassion but want to show love and compassion, will
certainly not get results. For example, a person who wants
to put out a fire, but does not have a reserve of water,
or someone who is thirsty and has just dug a well, will
not have water to drink for a long time.
Only two methods of loving-kindness and compassion are the
methods to extinguish the fire of anger. Because
loving-kindness is to want sentient beings to be happy.
Compassion is pitying sentient beings and thinking about
helping sentient beings escape suffering and be happy.
Loving-kindness has the state of action and its function
is to bring benefits to sentient beings. The noblest
result is the cessation of anger, hatred, or animosity
towards sentient beings, and seeing clearly that all
sentient beings love you as you love living beings.
Therefore, a person with loving kindness never hurts
Compassion has the state of helping someone who is
suffering, and never hurting others, even though that
person has caused you suffering. At the same time see
sentient beings suffering in samsara like you are burning
around you with no way out, no one to pity to rescue.
Therefore, you have a compassionate heart to help those
who are in trouble and suffering.
Love and compassion are methods of teaching the mind to be
impatient, and anger to become cool. You could say precept
is the cage for the lion, and love and compassion are the
methods for teaching the lion to be gentle.
As for the practice, you cannot use loving-kindness and
compassion to extinguish when the mind is angry. Don't say
to use loving-kindness and compassion at that time, just
when you are angry and don't even remember the words of
love and compassion, how can you use loving-kindness and
compassion to extinguish anger?
It is not until the anger subsides that you remember
loving-kindness and compassion. Therefore, if you want to
stop anger, you should first quell anger. It is not
difficult to get rid of grievances. When you know that you
have grievances, it is okay to leave somewhere else,
everything will stop automatically.
c- Recognizing Errors
When anger has occurred, if you want not to be angry,
there is the simplest method, which is to accept whatever
- Part of that fault is yours.
The reason you are angry and resentful is that you still
have afflictions, so there is anger, hatred, and
reincarnation. If you no longer have defilements, there is
no suffering, so you should try to practice to quickly get
out of this sea of samsara.
To do this you should be aware that:
- When you are angry, you do not harm others, on the
contrary, you first harm yourself without you knowing it.
Because an angry person is someone who is burned by the
fire of afflictions in his heart, unable to bear it, to
use words or actions to reduce the anger in his mind, so
when you are angry, you are suffering first. There are
times when you can't harm people and you feel more
miserable and resentful. If you are often angry, you will
age quickly, so your life will be shortened, and no matter
how beautiful you are, you will become ugly. So you should
pity the angry person rather than get angry at them, and
you should also try to avoid anger. Having said that it is
poisonous, anger will never bring happiness to you.
You should know that when you are not angry, your body
parts work normally, but when you are angry, the parts of
your bodywork increased at a faster rate. So anger has
more power and can do heavy things that without anger can
not do. But then you feel very tired. So anger harms your
health a lot.
Anger is already capable of damaging physical health.
Human virtues or conduct, such as filial piety, patience,
compassion, etc., when you are angry, the qualities that
intellectuals often praise are also destroyed.
The evil of greed is like a flood. If a flood occurs, of
course, there will be damage, but anyway, there are a few
items left. And the harm of anger is like burning a house.
When the house is on fire, it is difficult to find
anything left, maybe only a pile of coal. Anger is a fire
hotter than fire. The external fire only burns your hot
body, while the fire of afflictions burns your heart and
also causes you to be reborn in the evil paths.
In short, because of delusion, you think that when you
harm others, that person will suffer. You will be pleased
with your actions, but that is a misconception. The person
who suffers first is you, not the person you hurt.
Because, when you are the one who causes hatred towards
others, it is you who has brought harm to your heart
first. Indeed, when you are angry and hold a grudge, first
of all, you are the one who loses your temper, your mood
changes constantly, and even when you recite the Buddha's
name, you cannot make your mind calm, your mind is always
dirty, and do something also failed to achieve. If you
have wisdom, then you see that your mind is dirty, your
happiness is greatly reduced, and your good dharmas are
gradually destroyed, especially virtue and meditation are
increasingly declining, then even regret will no more
So again, I remind you, when you cause hatred and harm
people, you don't know how much harm you can do to others,
but you suffer the most. Because when you tie a grudge
with someone, it is you who closes the door of your home
and does not allow the good and happiness to enter your
home. What I mean is that once you have a grudge against
someone, you never want to see that person and your heart
is clearly upset that your interests are stopped.
Therefore, the Buddha taught:
- Of the five dharmas called hindrances, there is one,
which is anger, and the bondage of hatred is the most
If you already have anger and grudges, you will have fewer
and fewer good friends and your former friends will also
stay away. If you are a person with a high position in
society, you should be careful to see the harm of anger
and stubborn hatred. Because when you have a great
position and have this nature, the intellectuals are all
shunned, of course, you will do nothing but fail. If you
have a lot of anger and hatred, you are like a silkworm
that releases silk and then wraps itself, ending up dying
because of its silk. A person with a lot of anger and
hatred can die or be defeated in any situation, just like
a silkworm dying in a spool of silk with its own mouth.
So you have to be very careful, never let anger control
you. And if possible, it is good to make many friends, but
you should not tie animosity with anyone.