DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhất Quán

--o0o--

          Letting go is one of the four immeasurable minds. Letting go is the art of making the body and mind peaceful and happy. Money, beauty, power, position, and full of other material comforts, if you don't know enough, will be the cause that binds you into delusion, sin, and suffering.

          Indeed, once you have liked material comforts too much, your aspiration towards goodwill falters, and you no longer have the strength to look deep inside to transform greed, anger, and delusion. Knowing enough is the magic method to help you cure the diseases of greed, selfishness, and narrowness. Although you have many blessings, not to enjoy, but only to share or support people when needed. So the Buddha often taught three things that should be noted not to be too lacking, but also not be redundant, that is:

          - One is to eat,

          - Two is to wear,

          - Three is sleeping.

         However, if you lack a little of these needs, you gently and peacefully transform suffering and pain into peace and happiness.

          It is a miracle that the more you let go, the more peaceful, light, and peaceful your mind becomes. It is completely opposite to the habit of greed, and accumulation, making you often worry, insecure, for fear of loss, or being robbed by others.

          In fact, in this world, there are still many people hungry for love, lacking in all aspects, you just need to release a little material or share the spirit, this is an opportunity for you to live to love with an understanding heart, make everyone happier.

          When you know how to let go, you always open your heart to help others, make them happy, you know how to connect with people, make people feel secure, don't worry, fear, love. love and respect each other.

          Many times, you deserve to be at ease, relaxed, but not willing to inherit alone, but also commit to sharing, so that everyone can be happy. Thus, you let go of the roots that are still hidden within, which distort and destroy your mind

          Letting go of material comforts is difficult, letting go of the mind that contains it is ten thousand times more difficult. Therefore, those who know how to cultivate must maintain their stance. It is better to live a simple life in order to become a Buddha above and below to save sentient beings. To be able to realize ambitions and noble dreams, you must know how to let go of the smallest things. You learn to follow your mind naturally without judgment, if you're greedy you know greed, just know it so clearly.

           Even though you know for sure that you still haven't really let go of all the evil minds that harm people and animals, if you are still determined to persist and constantly observe it, one day you will completely master it without waiting time.

          Committed to studying to achieve peace, happiness, enlightenment, and liberation, in order to benefit many people is a difficult job, requiring you to be persistent in learning and practicing to be able to afford and overcome the pitfalls of life.

          During the practice to overcome obstacles, like a rotten log drifting in a river, there is no attachment here or there. If you want to be free from delusion, wrong views, and craving, and not be dominated by worldly people, then a practitioner must use the bow of meditation and the sword of wisdom to overcome all obstacles and reach enlightenment and liberation.

           Practitioners should let go of their attachment to material things, while laypeople have the right to get rich with their hands and brains. You just let go of the mind of greed, selfishness, narrow-mindedness, delusion, anger, enmity, hatred, and return to live with an honest mind, without you and people, gain and loss, then you will be at peace and happy.

          Saint Gandhi describes his life's mission in just a few words:

          - Let go and be happy.

         Gandhi's equanimity is a purified state of mind, not a harsh austerity. And also, in practice, every time you let go of something that distracts you, you don't necessarily hate it. Because that action is also an expression of the desire for liberation that is always present in each person. You must know how to let go with the same warm affection as when you give someone a gift. Letting go must be an act of giving as well as generosity. When you practice, you let go and rejoice. You let go of all that is not important, relax into stillness, and from there you will stay in the present moment.

          In fact, if you want to let go, you don't have to do anything. Holding and carrying require calculation and strength, but letting go, the less effort is used, the more effective it is.

          I remember the Buddha's teaching,

          - O monks, let go of what is unwholesome! Monks, you can let go of what is unwholesome, if that couldn't be done, I wouldn't advise you to do anything.

If letting go of unwholesome things would bring you suffering, I would not advise you to do so. But because that renunciation brings happiness and many benefits, I tell you to let go of what is unwholesome.

In daily life with many pressures and collisions, it is often difficult for you to avoid disagreements, collisions in work, daily activities, and relationships at home and at work. When there is an argument, you may lose control and get angry or talkative, you can win or lose the argument, it is often not easy to keep the peace...

As a result, you can hurt others, or be hurt by others, or get hurt yourself, feel pain because of the guilt of losing, the weakness of thinking that you are incompetent, and bitter because of failure. Even many of you will end up regretting the victory, for behind the so-called victory are distances, loss, and brokenness if either party indulges in a conceited ego, or doesn't know how to behave.

          Of course, you all know that the best thing is that you try your best in your behavior, communication, and relationships to keep peace in your mind and peace with others, treat each other with gratitude, integrity, gentleness, and kind words to each other. This is not easy to do! So you have to learn to live at peace with yourself and with others for most of your life, throughout your existence.

          At some point in your life, you have probably been hurt and treated badly by someone, making your heart hurt.

Sometimes this pain is not very heavy, but this pain is deep and lasts too long. You unintentionally or intentionally bring the pain back and it's very difficult to let it go.

          This is what causes problems. Not only does that hurt make you miserable, but it also stresses and destroys relationships, distracts you from work, leaves you with family and other important things, makes you reluctant to open up, receptive to new things and new people. You get stuck in the cycle of anger, and suffering, and ignore the beauty of life's miracles. For some people, it will be a bitter disappointment to let go.

          You need to learn to let go, to forgive so that you can move on and be happy. Forgive not only others but also yourself. The mind must know how to let go, your life will be happy, and your life will be peaceful. So, if you want to give your life meaning and become strong, you need to learn to let go. Because when you decide to let go, that moment you are already on the path to happiness. Letting go is freedom, it is from this point on that there are no attachments. The heart is no longer heavy, the body and mind achieve a state of calm and freedom.

          The concept of letting go, once someone asked Mr. Michelangelo how he made an elephant. He replied:

          - I took a large rock and chiseled away the parts that weren't elephants.

          The practice of letting go is similar, you just need to see what is unnecessary and let go. The art of concentration is a constant letting go. You let go of what is not essential or distracts you. But you let go of a thought, a feeling, not because you are afraid, not because you reject it, but because it is unnecessary. When you sit and think and have a thought arise in your mind, a memory, a project, a comparison, a fantasy you let go of right away. Likewise, if anger arises, a judgmental thought, or a plan for the future, simply let it go and gently return to the object of thought. And that is the true meaning of renunciation. So, in the end, what do you need to let go of?

          01- Let go of face

          Many people find that they themselves have too many things, all of which are unsatisfactory, but cannot let go. The face makes them unable to let go, eventually dying for the face.

          02- Let go of the pressure

          You have created too much pressure in your life. Those pressures are caused by unfulfilled desires. The only way to get over it is to forget the suffering and be happy with what you have. Happiness is actually very simple, and the life around you always contains hidden beauty.

          03- Let go of failures

          A failure is an experience, maybe failures will weigh heavily on your mind, making you unable to struggle and lose faith. But if you calm down, you will see that things are not so bad. So the more you should keep a calm attitude, take a breath of fresh air, and then think of a way out. Then you will know, that those failures are the lessons and experiences for you to avoid. And that's how you will find success.

          03- Let go of the past.

          May your past be very beautiful and glorious. You want to hold on to the past and avoid the present. However, the present moment is what you really have. To let go of the past, you have to stop lying to yourself and accept reality no matter what it is. If you are not satisfied with the present, take action to change it in the future.

          Letting go of the past, your heart can receive new joy, and can change your mood. Learn to calmly accept the truth, learn to go with nature, learn to calmly face all difficulties, learn to look at life with positive eyes, and learn to look at the good in everything in life.

          From the perspective of Buddhism, this life has 8 kinds of suffering:

          - Birth, old age, sickness, and death are the four sufferings of the body.

          As for the mind:

          - Not everything you wish for comes true;

          - The person you love has to be separated from time to time;

          - Those you don't like, you have to face all day long,

          - Suffering due to emotions, afflictions raging.

          Understanding that those things are the nature of life is normal, you will not torment yourself with regrets and torment by past pain or mistakes.

          To do this, imagine each exhaled breath as pain and past, you are removing it from your body and soul. And imagine each in-breath as peace entering and filling you. This way you will let go of the pain and the past, and peace will enter your soul immediately. And also remember the words of the venerable ones:

          - Stop thinking about the past, just think about peace and the present.

          04- Let go of laziness, inferiority, negativity.

          Laziness is a great hindrance to success. So, if you want to be determined to change your destiny, the best secret is to bring everything you do, even simple, and normally, to make it mature. Always remind yourself that you need to work hard to move forward, you need to be happy, healthy, and honest, and you will definitely have a brilliant life.

          If there is a time when laziness is an obstacle to success, so is low self-esteem, in Buddhism, there is a saying:

          - What the other person can do, I can do too

          So, let go of low self-esteem, everyone can become a great person. Perhaps everyone has a strong inner self. Therefore, belief in yourself, determine your own position, then you can find the value of this life.

          If you want to become a successful person, the best thing to do is to try to step up yourself, to be positive to defeat the negative, noble to defeat narrow-minded, sincere to defeat falsehood, fortitude to defeat weakness.

          As long as you want, you can completely do everything yourself. No one can influence your results except you. In your battle, you are the general who guides the way!

          05- Let go of resentment

          Instead of complaining, just keep trying to forget! Every failure is a stepping stone to success. Resentment can only be a hindrance to success. Let go of resentment, calm your mind, and accept defeat with peace. Resentment cannot change the situation, but continuing to work can bring hope.

          06- Let go of the narrow mind

          Tolerance is a good virtue. Tolerance to others, in fact, is to open your heart to a wide path forward, which is also to be tolerant of yourself.

          07- Let go of doubts and hesitations.

          Whenever you have doubts in your heart, everything will be difficult to do. The ancients used to say:

          - If you use people, don't doubt, if you have doubts, don't use people.

          Do not use your skepticism to judge what others think. Do not baselessly mistrust others, or it will affect the lasting friendship. Therefore, take action immediately and your success will be unlimited! Once you know the situation, you shouldn't be weak and indecisive. When you see a path clearly, then you should only know to walk forward, not to look back. Acting immediately is a common trait of successful people.

          08- Let go of illusions

          After all, most of your thoughts, actions, and words are worried about yourself, satisfying your ego only. Greed wants to take everything that benefits you, anger when things don't go as you want, jealousy because you feel inferior to others... Countless troubles and sufferings in this life are rooted in fantasy thought.

          Life will be more peaceful and free if you know less about clinging to your calculated ego and realize that ego is the biggest fraud. Others may lie to you for a while, but your ego will deceive you for a lifetime

          Be ready to let go of your need to control everything. You need to realize that trying to change other people's behavior only creates anxiety and turmoil in your heart.

          Let everyone, everything around you happen naturally. Then you will feel that your mind is much lighter and more peaceful.

          You cannot control the actions of others, nor should you try to do so. But you can control not only your actions but also your thoughts. You can stop reliving the pain or failure, and choose a good reason to move on. You have this ability, and you just have to learn how to do it and you will succeed.

          What you need to master, and conquer first, is your delusional mind, your wandering mind, not your material possessions or external objects. The world is impermanent and everyone will eventually die with empty hands. When your mind keeps daydreaming, getting restless, and even having everything, you still feel unsatisfied. So it is better for you to let go of your delusional mind for happiness to be present. You should know enough and be grateful for what you have.

          09- Let go of criticism

          Sometimes you criticize yourself (or others) with the intention of motivating, inspiring or helping yourself (or others) to be better. However, this can easily make you a negative person. Instead of focusing on the wrong things, focus on the good things that are happening

          You usually spend a lot of time and effort trying to help people understand you and stop criticizing and seeing things from your point of view. Honestly, this is hard to do. This way you let them criticize freely, as long as you understand yourself is enough.

          Remember that the more you carry, the more you suffer, just like in the Tripitaka, there is a story about a rich man losing his cow, the story goes:

          - An owner had a very large cow farm, one day he was scared to run around because some cows had just been lost. The old man walked and ran with a depressed expression and asked the Buddha:

          - Hey monks, have you seen my herd of nearly 50 cows running past here?

          The Buddha gently and softly replied:

- Sir, we haven't seen a cow run by here since noon. You try to run over to the other side of the hill and see if they graze there.

          When the old man heard this, his expression became sadder, and he stamped his feet in anger and cried out:

          - God, my whole career was only so much, now it's all gone.

          The old man was running, crying, looking so pitiful. When the old man was far away, the Buddha turned to his disciples and said:

          - You are very blessed, so you don't have to waste time, worry about life's gain and loss, success or failure, so there is no cow to lose.

          In the past, the Buddha taught monks to be blessed, but today you see that you are also very fortunate to live in an advanced society like the United States. Moreover, you can learn the teachings of Buddha. So when you become aware of life and let go of these things, you will feel more loved and relieved. Remember that the more burdens you carry, the more cluttered your life will be. Sometimes, you need to know how to put down and let go to make life easier.

          In short, letting go doesn't mean you erase the past or forget what happened. It also doesn't mean that the people, or circumstances, that made you miserable in the past, that you forget everything, but this is a rational control and all it means is that you are letting go of your anger, the bitterness, the pain, and the cows as the Buddha said in the sutras, in order to have a more peaceful, happier mind.

 The cows you currently have are:

  - The greedy cow, the hoarding cow, the selfish cow, the narrow-minded cow, the delusional cow, and the emotionless cow.

When you live with these cows, you will assimilate with greedy, jealous, and deluded people, even if you have thousands of dollars, you will never know enough. Even if you have a lot of money, you still hoard it, trying to get more without helping anyone, you are like a hungry ghost. So you have to learn to let go, you should be determined to follow the Buddha's teachings, rely on the ancestor, and find a way to bring the greedy, selfish cows... back to their original place, the cow honest.

           When you know each emotion in you like that, then the worries about the greedy, selfish cow .... no longer reappear in you. The path of commitment of the sages, although working and serving, is very peaceful and relaxed, because they know how to shine back with true love with an understanding heart.

          You all want to live a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life. When pursuing this, you often think, you need to do what you like. But besides that, you need to learn to let go of the things that make you sad and worried, so that you can have a happy life.

          The Buddha taught through the old man's sutta that he lost his cow, you are more fortunate to live in a favorable environment where you have nothing to lose but develop and expand your spiritual fortune. An environment where there are true masters, good teachers, good friends, and people who know how to let go of their gains and losses, praise, criticism, reverence, and benefit. Therefore, you are peaceful and happy to live in harmony between religion and life.

          Letting go is an art, so choose the path to happiness, and let humanity and the love of life grow in your heart. It may take time, but if you stick with this, and keep doing some of the above until you can have compassion for all people, all species, then you will see the benefits of letting go.

---o0o---