DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

REALITY DISSOLVES THE DREAM
By Nhất Quán
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Today is March 9, 2013
The article we are introducing to the public today is: Reality breaks the dream.
Emotion is the ability to recognize feelings through the contact of six senses such as eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind. People are a sentient being, because of their affection, there are two problems of love and hate.
Living in life, everyone needs to have feelings or speak for the feelings of people in life, and relationships, closely related to each other through which are expressed as:
- Emotional of people, sentient beings, love of parents, close relatives, siblings of common blood, friendship, co-workers, neighbor's love, etc.
Human emotions are always expressed in two attitudes of emotional psychology: when you experience pleasant emotions, you will enjoy excitement, anxiety, depression, and jealousy, and at the same time want to keep for a long time, However, if you want to possess, you cannot regret it. But when you experience emotional discomfort, express your dissatisfaction, disdain, despise, sorrow and suffering.
In all kinds of love, there is a kind of affection that the human world always brings to the forefront, and is mentioned the most by poetry and literature, which is love for men and women. For the first person to love, in the heart of the son, there is always the image of a girl. Similarly, in the mind of a girl, there is always a picture of a son. Both want to possess each other for themselves, so they become selfish, small and narrow.
Emotion is a state of mental reaction driven by two states of love and hate, so they are either positive or negative. Often positive emotions bring happiness to people. Negative emotions make people suffer, sadness, anger, hate, fear of insecurity, frustration, and pain. If it is a negative state, but you are too persistent, keep your mind in bad emotions too much, at some point, will lead to the emotional turmoil that can cause many serious illnesses in the body. As:
- Neuropathy, high blood pressure, arthritis and stomach cancer.
The main cause of the disease is due to the delusional mind, and then the introduction of stimulants into the body like:
- Alcohol, beer, ecstasy, drugs...
In addition to the above factors, there are additional factors that contain too many bad emotions in the heart, causing disorder leading to illness. The disease is not enough, but it also forms an internal gathering and impasse. This is a true story in life:
- In one family, there was a daughter because of delusion, so she left home to follow her boyfriend. Too angry, her father kept it in his heart and didn't forgive that daughter. And also because of his face loss with his neighbors, he banned his daughter from going home. He often blames his daughter after drinking tea or alcohol. It is because he does not sympathize and forgive the child, so he always feels sorrowful forever. From the emotion of anger and attachment attached, and a long time gathered inside, it kept simmering, simmering inside creating wounds in the heart that never faded away. By the time he was seriously ill, he still told his wife carefully:
- If I die later, my non-filial daughter, don't let her mourn me, because she's not my daughter, if you don't listen, I'll make the whole house stink.
After saying that, he stopped breathing. But his wife loved her daughter, so she should call her daughter to mourn her father. The daughter kneels down before her father's coffin, burning incense and praying, hoping her father to forgive her for her mistake in the past, because the child was still too foolish. The father, though dead, was still resentful to his daughter and was unable to leave. When the children in the family cried for their father, they suddenly smelled a bad smell that made the whole house smell bad. Although people find ways to eliminate that stench, it is not effective to make the mourning atmosphere in the family become gloomy. No one dares to come to visit, share with the family because of that bad smell.
Humans are clinging, attached to their sight and hearing if anyone does something different from the sight and the hearing is they are not agree. The young girl because she was infatuated with love because of her youth, she was not recognized by her father as his daughter. Who in life does not once mistake or fall, no one wants that, parents should be wise to be tolerant, to know how to love children who are still young. The father was afraid of losing face to everyone, so resentment in his heart until death still carried him. Human consciousness is truly formidable. A sorrowful thought arises if you keep embracing forever and then become a knot in your heart, that mind follows you for a lifetime, so the world is at war for killing each other, no there are days to stop, just because of embracing the knots of resentment in the hearts of people, they cannot let go.
We cultivate to transform bad emotions, not to let them turn into internal knots. If we let our selfish thoughts of hatred in our hearts, if people always live in a vicious circle, self-grasping leads to the desire to possess for themselves, thereby creating many sins caused by the mind Self-grasping, clinging to this selfish self, the murder or anger, the mutual indiscriminate happening is inevitable.
Every human being has a different habit, and concept according to the past or present practice, so the people and circumstances of each person are not the same. If you keep attached, cling to it, then force people to be like you. If anyone is different from you, then you disagree and embrace a block of sorrow, so that every day it tortures you forever it is a disaster. So, when you like, love, protect yourself, so the idea of possession arises and you want it to be yours forever. But when you hate, so many disagreements, hatred, and bitterness are on your heart, so that it creates for you suffering, it kills you over time. When you are angry with anyone, you want to take revenge, when you hate someone, you stand or sit, you don't have peace in your mind. Because these two thinking makes you live in grief, you are not a Buddhist.
As a Buddhist, anyone who is skilled in practice seeks to transform them, do not let it simmer in the heart forever, if we constantly reflect each mind in our awareness, we will feel the peace and happiness, right here and now.
In order to resolve those bad emotions, you need to have true love, need human love, because it is a living material to help people overcome the pitfalls of life, but sympathize with forgiveness, and ready to share with each other. Indeed, if life without love, how old it is to live without life does not make sense. But love is not right, right place, right time, easy to become sad. In an intimate relationship, everyone wants to be loved, because it is an essential living material for people, but if not, when you love someone, you just want to possess for ourselves, and love in narrow selfishness, it is easy to lead to ignorance, to accept ego and to create discontent and hatred.
One of the reasons that constitute the delusion of suffering is the kind of love between men and women. If there is a time when love between men and women is often praised by many people, also many doctrines, many religions also praise nothing as beautiful as true love, because this love overcomes the selfish love of male Female. In true love, there is no sadness, love, anger, insecurity, anxiety, and fear, for overcoming two thoughts of love and hate. It is the same love of men and women that is also a rope of karma that binds each other in the life and death of sorrow. I would like to tell the public the story:
This story just sounds like a myth, a parable, but a real story. In the 1960s, at Phu Quy Island in Binh Thuan province, there were a couple of men and women who were considered talented boys and girls. Because both families are equally rich, both parents agree to let their children marry. This young couple lives in a house made of Agarwood built by the son's parents. They love each other very passionately and earnestly. They live together very happily. Because they are both beautiful, more well-off, so they only face each other all day, passionately watching each other without being bored.
They thought happy like that is long, but a disaster began to hit this young couple. Because the eyeballs were shrinking, the yellow spots were skewed, but in the old years, Vietnamese medical technology had not improved, so they did not know what diseases their eyes slowly faded away and eventually led to blindness... At that time, the husband could not see his wife anymore, but his wife was like that, which made the couple sad and worried. They tried to cure all Western Medicine and then went to oriental medicine. They also pleaded with the gods but still not cured. Some people said that because this house was built with incense wood, it created a separation like that. Because they want to restore the eyes for both spouses, so this young couple immediately called for people to unload the newly built house. Eventually, the house was deserted, and the eyes of this young couple still not cured. Both blind husband and wife do nothing to make money, from then to later just depend on the help of both sides of parents. Because of fear of losing each other, the husband kept thinking:
- My wife is beautiful, she is really a wonderful woman, it is difficult for anyone in this world to be as beautiful as her. I am blind now, not watching her if I let others see, I will lose my wife in the blink of an eye.
And the wife also thinks like her husband:
- My husband is handsome, although his eyes are blind but the masses of other women will be passionate when they see him. So, I have to watch him, otherwise, I will lose him.
Husband and wife were afraid of losing each other, so they always held hands together, walked together, sat together, lay down, even until resolving personal matters such as bowel movements, urination, both still did not leave each other. Just like that, the time over thirty years, they always live together without leaving half a step.
One day there was a person gave information in Saigon that had a group of foreign doctors to treat the charity eyes very well, so the couple guided each other to treat. After the hospitalization procedure, the couple recently split because the two were in charge of two different doctors. Although they were in the same hospital, they did not communicate with each other during treatment, until they recovered two new people to meet in the waiting room.
While waiting for each other, the hearts of the two people are excited for the moment of meeting and seeing the figure of their loved ones again. But the truth is not the same as expected, not only are these couples unhappy but they suffer in extreme pain when they discover the person they love, not as beautiful as in dreams, like dozens of years ago. Even though over the past thirty years they never took a step away, they clung to each other's youthful beauty thinking that it will be forever. After a surprising moment, the husband spoke first:
- What old lady is this, my wife is very beautiful and cute in the past, why is it so ugly now?
Do not know because of emotion, or because of cold, so the sound changes, unlike the parting to treat illness. Seeing the body of the sloppy husband, the voice was different, the wife also said:
- The old man got the epidemic, you are not my husband, why do you dare to receive it? My husband, not such a voice, moreover, he is handsome, generous, and graceful, any girl who wants to love, but not as old as you are now.
So the two argued, no one agreed to this change so quickly. Even though from the wedding day, the eyes are blind, when the eyes are healed, the eyes light up again. It was more than thirty years ago, but this couple still considered it a new marriage, and they did not accept the old age of each other as their age. So they accepted to break up so that each of them kept a heart to celebrate the fairytale past of the youthful beauty. Because of the fact make this couple disillusioned.
Psychology of people when something is good, everyone wants to remain forever with them, especially in adolescence. Everyone wants to be young and beautiful forever to be loved by many people, but the reality is very harsh because anyone also will old and will die. So in the old days, Qin Shihuang, because he wanted to rule the country for a long time, he ordered the medical officers to seek long-living medicine for immortality, but in the end, he could not survive. As Buddhists we often hear the Buddha teach:
- People are born in the world must go through Birth, old, sick and dead, and all the Dharma then experience: birth or survival, deformation, and destruction. And nature goes through Formation, existence, decay, and nothing.
Thus, from humans to all species, all things must change according to the law of impermanence. Many people try to keep their faces with time, so there are people standing in front of the mirror for a few hours of makeup, making for them to be young and beautiful forever. They think so, but in fact, no one is forever young. Those who do not know, if they cling to it, the suffering from that arises, and this is a parable:
- There are elderly couples with no children, so every day must work very hard. On one day after cleaning up only a little bit more, the piece of land prepared to plant seeds, but old age weak to do for the old man tired, bored, so he stood looking at the sky and lamented that:
How good I wish I was as healthy as the boy's days son, I will work hard but not tire.
Hearing the old man complain, a God of mercy should show instructions to the old man to achieve his wish:
- Early in the morning tomorrow, you go west three miles ago, there is a fairy stream, you go down there to swim after you have finished bathing you will be forever young, just like your dream.
The old man was happy and told himself:
- From now on, I will be young and healthy to do anything and I'm not afraid to be tired.
So, that morning, he hurried to that miraculous stream, to fulfill his wish. While immersing himself in a stream, an unbelievable truth he felt as if it was the divine experience he said. The cool stream made the old man gradually return from 80 to 70 and 60 and until he became a handsome 24-year-old young man. Now the old body is no longer present but now is a healthy young man. Looking back at his body, the boy seemed proud, since now he is able to work in the sun, in the rain without fear of tiredness of old age.
The young man returned home, instructing his old wife how to rejuvenate her. It was the turn of the cane lady to leave, to the place, the old lady immersed herself in the stream, so from the age of 70, gradually decreased until she was 24 years old. if she should have walked up to the shore right now, very well. But greed does not allow her to stop there, she silently whispers:
- Women are always faster than men. This is a rare chance, I have to take a little more bathing, it's okay.
But the old woman's thoughts were very dangerous, while the young man waited for his wife to come home for long but not see, so impatiently went to look for her and when he came to the stream, there was no figure of a woman. Until he heard the cries of a young child, the young man came to the place where he heard the sound of a child crying, only to see a little girl about three years old standing there crying because she did not know the way home. Looking at the black dot on the girl's hand, the young man understands the reason:
- Because of the miracle, so changed his wife from old to young, and his wife wanted to be too young, so she became a little girl.
Everyone wants to stay young and not old, but do not need to find out the cause, so they always live in dreams, fantasy and regret about the past. When old age is weak, not knowing how to cultivate is extremely painful. When you are old, your eyes are blurry, your ears are deaf, and your back is crouched, and your knees are tired and hard to stand if there are no children and grandchildren to nurture, then life must be hard.
The two stories above, one is the real story in life, the two are fables that give us a practical lesson in life. You keep dreaming that young people are not old, but they cannot be. Buddha taught, according to the law of impermanence, all things in this world are changed over time. People are born, old, sick, and dead, but people from old to now often confuse that everything is fixed and cannot be changed. So you go on stubbornly, clinging to it to see life with limited colored glasses.
You usually hope, catch something and want to bend it according to what you want, therefore when in love with someone, you all have the direction protect and possession for ourselves, and fear of others rob it. In fact, love is the natural instinct already has of every human. The human world, every people in life, all need sympathy, love, and help each other. If you can not do such, then this life becomes no meaning. But this love not because of the selfishness and possessiveness.
Return to two above stories, you can see, any people want to cling this impermanent body, therefore they want this body forever young, no old. As a human having the love is natural. because there is no love, then this life becomes no meaning, therefore the human always said:
- With love is suffering, but there is not love is a loss
One would rather be suffering but do not want to lose.
So, most people accept the suffering for love, if you are afraid of suffering and deny love is this world having no value at all. Therefore you have to love each other very much, so this life there is meaning and wonderful. True love is the medicine of miracle spirituality that can transform the suffering to become peaceful and happy.
The affection of humans has expression through the psychology of feeling as happy and suffering, love and hate, joy and affliction, worry and scare, jealousy and respect that is due to too much greed guiding to clinging ego, finally create suffering to each other.
Truth, besides the affection of man and woman, we are living in this life is in order for love and share the kindness with each other. But due to the ignorance cover the mind, therefore greed, angry arise make overshadowed the peaceful, insight and enlightened nature, therefore, the suffering appears.
To be love in life, you need to know how to give the fun and share the suffering, sympathy and forgive. Always love and help every people no distinguish the stranger or friend, the relative or the neighbor, that is the affection of humans in life.
In life, the reason you have many suffering is because do not know how to give up, sympathy and forgive. You want your lover should following the arrangement of you, if not you will suffering and afflicted. In case the lover gets along, you will happy and wallow in love and consider it a beautiful love like a dream. But the truth there is nothing in this world is beautiful forever, in contrast, many things making you break your dream.
I would like to repeat again, in the world of mankind, you keep messing around in the affection of love and hate to create fun and sad confused. And in a person, the affection of humans always there are two states that are good and bad. The bad is the psychological manifestation as pessimistic, depressed, guilt, angry, dissatisfied, worry, scare, etc. The good is the psychology manifestation to enjoy, love, delight, interest, desire, conceit,  etc.
When you have a bad feeling will make you upset, uncomfortable inside your body, and such as you angry for something and when expressing to outside make your face become red is very terrible. In contrast when you are worry or uncomfortable for some reason, to be your face becomes pale and when you depression or suffering for some reason will make your body become haggard.
Especially when you feeling guilt in the past, at that time you got a mistake for something, inside your mind forever repent until now. Or when you angry or hate someone but you did have yet a chance to revenge, then that angry it always boiling in your heart, in a long time this angry will form a bond within yourself, it will make you extremely suffering.
When it becomes a bond within yourself although ten years, twenty years or much more you still suffering from this bond within yourself, even until almost die your mind still attachment, still boiling inside yourself.
The sentient being because of a thought of ignorance, therefore, the wind of karma brings you to the ocean of sin. From a normal and bright, non-ego and altruistic mind become an ego of angry and ignorance, ready of stubborn wear on himself a coat of prejudice for the purpose service the ego of himself, so become cruel and sinister.
The human is a sentient being there is the awareness and understanding, know how to contemplate search, the human can be moved the mountain to another place or fill up the river. Although how is the wisdom, talent but the one lacking the moral, that person also does not value, useless, people will curse.
You want to become a people who have virtue it is not simple and easy, it requires you always consider yourself to see every smallest mistake and correct or transform it immediately. The human have must know how self-control through the senses to recognize the truth and clearly this body. To know how sympathy, tolerance, and forgive for one who makes you extremely suffering. You should always be living for the common good, taking pleasure from the world as a joy for yourself. You already do such as, then you are a moral person and walking on the path to enlightenment
The human in this life always two parts parallel that is the materials and the spirit. The part of the material is the body and the spirit is the soul. But there are several people only does focus on the physical part, forget the part of the spirit that is the soul, therefore although living in rich and the condition of material very comfortable but poor the parts of spirit so always hopeless, and suffering, etc.
Also, there are the kind of people although rich and material redundancy but do not dare to eat or spend, and also do not dare help others, they always live in greed, selfish only want to accumulate the property for themselves, but after all, they also do not have the happy.
In order for society to have a strong and long-term development, the human need to enrich the knowledge and moral. Because the knowledge used to develop socially and moral will help the human in life understand and love to each other. You can say the knowledge and morals like two wings of the bird, having two wings, the bird can fly on the wide sky. Meanwhile, the knowledge and morals can foster human love and make people come close together. Therefore, lacking the knowledge you can not do anything while having the knowledge but lacking the moral it is very easy to do damage to each other.
Man is the owner of disaster or bliss, unhappiness, or suffering, which is decided by yourself. Let us all share in the love of humanity because man has the knowledge better than the animal, therefore we should bring the happy come to everyone and take out the suffering follow the rhythm of solidarity in life
As human, every people want to enjoy the sweet taste in this world, therefore you need to have a direction clear and bright. If not, the cruel stream of life will wash away all although that is the humanity of a human being. The life there are many unfortunate and suffering if you always discouraged frustration. You should not lower your value when you compare with others. You should remember that each of us is a brick to build up a healthy life, although every brick there is some big, some small differences.
If you want to transform the world knowledge into the Buddhist knowledge, you should not stop learning, contemplation, and practice. Besides that, you should cultivate much more let wisdom arise, see and know what it is truly correct, therefore you do not need to worry, let affliction and suffering dominate, and you must always live in peace and happiness.
In short, the reality always makes to break the dream, the knowledge person always thinks a big ego and gives for yourself are the center of the universe, therefore arise the desire mind too much, so harmful for mankind.
For you, you see and know the true principles of life by the eyes wisdom, so you should be committed to service and work never tire for benefits of the sentient being, but not greed, selfish.
Wisdom is the priceless property helping you to overcome the trap of life, living in real life, stops dreaming too much, so you will have a chance to connect the love and companion with every people. Every people is a good gift for life when mankind comes together thereby understanding and love, then this world will be a heaven of happiness.
You want to have a beautiful moral personality that is need to following the step foot of the saints, bodhisattva, and Buddha of old-time. When Buddha was still alive, one day Buddha visit three disciples are cultivating in the countryside area very far. Knowing Buddha comes to visit, three disciples very happy, pay homage and invite Buddha to sit down, three disciples sit aside waiting for the teaching of Buddha. Buddha with the gentle voice ask:
- Hey bhikkhu, all of you living here, there is peacefulness and harmony?
All three answered:
- Respect World-Honored One sir, all of us living together very harmony and happiness
Buddha question:
- How do you live to get the harmony and happiness?
All three Venerable answered:
- The reason all of us living harmony and happiness are dependent on we are keep the precept very serious, open the compassion, delighted mind, knowing humble, respect, politeness, sympathy, not living in the dream anymore, always generous to each other in any case in life.
Buddha praise:
          - Very good, you are not living in the dream anymore, because the dream is a dream never is the truth, therefore the reality will dissolve the dream, all of you later very worthy is scent good for life.
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