DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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During my years at UCLA, there were two teachers whom I will never forget. One was the Physics teacher, who always gave very difficult assignments. So difficult that not a single student in the class got a B, at most a C. However, when the course ended, on the last exam day, instead of letting everyone go home, he asked everyone to stay. Then he called each person in, one by one, and asked them what grade they wanted, and he gave that grade. Each student walked out smiling, but when the others asked, he did not answer, just waved goodbye and walked away.

The second teacher, the Biology teacher, before the course ended, gave a speech that I still remember to this day. He said this:

At the beginning of the school year, many of you felt that learning how to think was quite silly. Someone said to me:

- We all think, so what's so strange about learning?

But now, after the course, you probably see that right thinking is necessary. Right thinking is being responsible and honest. Right thinking is being disciplined and being a good listener. Right thinking, in the end, is being reasonable.

However, my friends, today I give you the last lesson, which is probably the most important lesson of all the lessons I have taught. My dear friends, life is absurd. While you may spend your whole life trying to be fair and reasonable, thorough and accurate. Although you may wish to do so, many times your life does not follow those rules. And if you try to understand your fellow human beings, the people around you, only in a practical way. You must understand that, if you cannot understand real life, you will harm yourself and others.

And he added:

- Actually, that is the reality of life, but deep down there is something much more fundamental in the heart of each of you, so today I am giving you my final lesson. So this teacher began to walk around the class, placing a piece of paper face down on each of our desks.

And he continued:

- Today, I am leaving you with one final riddle that I hope you will keep with you for the rest of your lives. Think about it, remember it, let its meaning unfold. I believe that what I am sending you today will help you truly understand what you all want as human beings.

As he spoke, I flipped the paper over and discovered an unremarkable photograph in a local newspaper. It was a picture of a boy standing alone outside an empty basketball court. The picture was taken from behind him. The boy held a basketball in one hand and held the fence with the other. Although it was a sunny day, the playground was empty and the gate was locked. The caption under the picture read:

- Everyone wants to succeed.

This teacher had timed his speech perfectly because as soon as he finished speaking, the bell rang, leaving no time for questions or discussion. He just said goodbye and wished us good luck.

My first reaction to the Biology teacher's final speech and the image of the boy who wanted to play basketball was that it was silly, compared to the importance of what he had taught us during the course. For many years, I rarely thought about the last lecture and the caption of the photo. But later it haunted me, making me ponder why my teacher had chosen such an image:

- Why was the boy barred on such a sunny day?

- Who was the boy?

- Why was the basketball court locked?

Finally, after many years, I discovered the secret of a profound personal lesson about the way of life, how to live in a way that pleases each other. That is:

- How to treat those around you and in life beautifully.

And although these were not the words of the old teacher, I can still hear them as if he had said them in my ear:

- Please do not take yourself too seriously, because that will make you lose sight of what it means to be human.

The reason is that your rightness, your logic, and your perfection can blind you, so it has locked you out of the game, preventing you from becoming the person you want to be through the motto:

- Everyone wants to succeed.

Surely everyone in life wants to be successful. To be successful, you must respect the enthusiasm and what everyone brings to you in life. You all want to do the best, want the opportunity to contribute and succeed. You all want to leave behind something to be proud of and be remembered as an inspiration. Whether you are:

- A gardener or a director,

- An engineer or a house painter;

- Whether you are a weaver or a doctor …,

You all want to make life better for others and show what you can do. You were all children once; you all wanted to be the best, the best.

And if in your thirst for success, in your striving for profit, for power, you forget that everyone wants to succeed as much as you do, then you will surely be out of the game, locked inside the fence of your own logic and rightness. You cannot live a decent life, you cannot throw your genius ball, and you cannot succeed.

Recall your old years for a moment, and recall an image that made your life, or your workplace, fun, memorable. If you used to work in an office, those images could be:

- The image of a kind waiter in the office,

Or:

- A trusted superior who supported you to participate in the most successful project in your career,

Or a funny co-worker who always had a funny, insightful insight to share.

As you think back and picture these people in your mind, you may recall warm, joyful moments you shared with them. You opened your heart to these colleagues or fellow practitioners who were present and open, and that camaraderie or fellow practitioner made a part of your work life complete.

The people you remember may be people who are no longer involved in your life. If you are lucky, you will still be in touch with a few friends and colleagues. But often:

- The people you owe a favor to have moved on:

- Or they are no longer around

Sometimes you realize that work relationships are too fleeting. However, once you realize that relationships in this world are not stable, always changing, you should cultivate the warm, equal feelings that you cherish. Colleagues or fellow practitioners come and go, new faces, unexpected reunions, etc. Change, which in Buddhist terms is often called Impermanence in relationships, in work, makes you more conscious of appreciating the people around you right now, being kinder and more approachable when you know how to:

- Treat people like customers.

Usually, when you treat someone like a customer, you acknowledge in everything you do that the time you spend together is rare and worth your respect. You do not treat your customers casually or carelessly. When customers come, you do not consider them as a bother; you treat them reluctantly. On the contrary, it is natural that you prepare carefully to be friendly and ready to welcome them, with the best.

Because only by respecting customers can you receive customer satisfaction. So, how to show respect to customers? Here are some ways:

1- Don't be afraid to say sorry

When customers are presenting their problems, they will expect you to have a lot of reactions to their words. Because it shows that you understand them very well. If you are facing a customer complaint, it is best to first express your apology. If you need to apologize on a personal basis, you should show more sincerity. Then clearly inform them that you will try your best to help them until they are satisfied. Remember, every customer hopes to receive your attention and respect; they think that the knowledge you have been trained in and the experience you have accumulated have only one purpose:

2- Follow up on the problem

If you have no other way but to transfer the customer to another department, then definitely call the colleague in charge of that matter, and at the same time call the customer to confirm whether the matter has been resolved or not and ask if the customer has received a satisfactory answer and if he still needs help, if he really needs it, then try to make him satisfied.

3- Always know the other person.

In communicating with customers, customers often want to know how the business will give them. The customer's problem has reflected the customer's own needs and preferences. It can be seen that a good first step is to give the customer something. Giving is a type of service, so provide customers with an explanation of the goods they are interested in. Furthermore, to become a successful customer service staff member, please remember that you should never ask for anything from your customers.

4- Know how to say thank you.

You need to know that: Saying thank you to customers is never too much. But unfortunately, words like thank you, it is an honor, or please are less and less used in business, so make full use of some of these words and consider thank you as the most common word in your communication with customers. Speak honestly, because only then will customers, you, us, and others have jobs today.

Many marketing and sales staff have admitted that attracting new customers is as difficult as fishing with a line and a pole. They know that not all customers will bite the bait easily with ordinary bait. The art of fishing lies in choosing the right bait. Instead, you should offer a new perspective.

From the above tendencies, to be a truly polite host, you welcome everyone equally, and you do not consider one person more important than another. When having a party for unfamiliar guests, you should not tell your family:

- These people are not familiar, bring them cheap wine or serve them on paper plates.

On the contrary, you take care of these guests more carefully. Even if you and a certain guest seem not to get along, you do not chase them away and say:

- Sorry, you are not my guest. Please leave through the back door.

Whether your guests are strangers or close friends, neighbors or passersby, funny or annoying, you still treat them with courtesy and hospitality as a demonstration that everyone's time together is rare and valuable. You must immediately think of the motto:

- Treat people like customers

Because this will encourage you to rely on your instincts to treat people appropriately, be considerate, cherish the relationship at work by being willing to help people, and deploy the best to all you meet. When presenting an idea or a point of view, you do it properly so that others can accept and understand what you say. You do not discriminate between people around you. Whether it is the chairman or the security guard, you care and are polite to all equally. When going to do any work, you dress politely and appropriately, so as to convey a cheerful and healthy state. When others express their views, you listen attentively, and you cultivate the art of communication. Even when your co-workers are hot-tempered or tactless, you are polite, demonstrating courtesy by cultivating morality. You do this not as a mindless servant who wants to please everyone or because you need money. You treat everyone as a guest because that is your natural dignity. As a confident, curious, and competent person, you can extend space and peace to others, even in difficult situations, simply because it is the natural thing to do, a natural expression of who you are.

In short, when you treat everyone as a guest, you create a space that allows everyone you meet to be comfortable in those moments. Like a host at a dinner party, you encourage your guests to express themselves freely and comfortably; they are as comfortable as they are at work or in their own family life. Instead of trying to control the work situation, you allow yourself to freely appreciate everyone you meet. With such a fresh perspective, you can appreciate the personal views, styles, flaws, and strengths of those around you.

Therefore, you will not be eroded or threatened by other situations, so you are able to bring the best to your guests, or in other words, your loved ones. In addition, treating everyone as a guest further encourages you to accept and appreciate each moment as valuable and genuine. More importantly, it reminds you to convey your deep gratitude to everyone. Because you are truly grateful to everyone you meet, to every visitor at work. If you analyze your work relationships carefully, you will discover that everyone has taught you some of the most important lessons that you need to be aware of at work, whether they are:

- Allies or enemies,

- Competitors or supporters,

- Strangers or friends,

All of them provide you with many opportunities to let go of your pride, narrow-mindedness, fear, and to live together in a very genuine way.

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