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DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE
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- SADNESS AND ANGER
- LOSS OF WISDOM
By Nhat Quan
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---o0o---
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The Buddha
taught that if His Dharma is placed in a person lacking spirit
and vitality, it will be like a pair of discarded sandals. On
the contrary, if that teaching is placed in the heart of a
noble person with a positive and progressive spirit, it will
become pure and never fade or become dark.
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As a Buddhist,
you have seen such value, but if you only know how to spend
all your time studying the Buddha Dharma in theory, then the
Buddha Dharma will not bring any benefit. Only when you know
how to train your heart, helping it eliminate all its negative
and corrupt spirits, will you fully inherit the benefits that
practicing the Dharma can bring you. Only then will the true
Dharma be preserved in purity, and the original principles
will not be distorted or deviated.
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During the years
of preaching, the Buddha's last sermon before his death
advised his disciples as follows:
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- After my
death, the Dharma will replace me as your teacher.
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Knowing how to
follow the Dharma is the way you show your loyalty to me.
During the last forty-nine years of my life, I did not hide
anything in my teachings. There was not a single secret
teaching, not a single hidden meaning. All my teachings were
given honestly and transparently.
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You can
immediately see the Buddha's teachings in each person through
their behavior in the family and society, for example, as
people often say:
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- Fullness loss
of appetite, sadness and anger loss of wisdom
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Indeed, sadness
or anger has a great influence on relationships, work, and
communication in life. Therefore, to avoid unfortunate
consequences caused by a moment of impulsiveness, you should
know how to control yourself and not let negative feelings
change your mentality. Therefore, there is a folk saying:
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- Sadness and
anger make you lose your mind.
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I would like to
tell you a true story. It happened that night many years ago.
After reciting the sutras, Venerable Hue Nhut usually returned
to his meditation room. But that day, when he returned to his
meditation room, he suddenly had a certain motivation that
urged him to go back to the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva shrine
to burn incense. When he arrived at the Avalokitesvara
Bodhisattva shrine, he saw a horrifying event happening, which
was:
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- The image of a
woman lying motionless next to the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
shrine.
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Seeing that
something was wrong, Venerable Hue Nhut informed me, and I
immediately called 911, an ambulance came and took her to the
hospital. After the ambulance took the woman to the emergency
room, I told Venerable Hue Nhut that the Dharma Protectors,
Good Spirits, and the eight groups of demons at Duoc Su Temple
were very powerful, because if Venerable Hue Nhut had not
urged her to go to the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva shrine, two
things could have happened:
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1- That woman
would have died for sure
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2- That woman
would have died, but our Duoc Su Temple would not have been at
peace. Because if someone died in the temple, of course, the
government's investigation agency would have come, and then
the press, rumors, and bad reputation would have spread.
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Then, a week
later, a young woman came to the temple and claimed that she
was the one who had been called by the temple for an ambulance
to take her to the hospital. At that time, I asked her why she
was lying motionless next to the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
shrine. At that time, she explained the situation:
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- Because she
was angry with her husband, she drank pesticide and committed
suicide.
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Hearing that, I
asked:
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- Why didn't you
commit suicide somewhere else but instead commit suicide at
the temple?
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The young woman
replied:
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- I chose to
commit suicide at the temple because I thought that after I
died at the temple, the Bodhisattva would take me to the
Buddha's land.
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Hearing that, I
said:
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- You think that
way is wrong. If you want to be welcomed by Bodhisattvas or
Buddhas to the Buddha's land, you must know how to cultivate
your mind and character. If you die in sadness, suffering, and
anger like that, you will only create more karma in the cycle
of reincarnation. Moreover, if you die in a temple, you will
unintentionally bring trouble to the temple, and your karma
will be even heavier. Therefore, you should not have such
negative thoughts anymore. If you want to be welcomed by
Bodhisattvas or Buddhas to the Buddha's land, you must
regularly practice good karma and create more blessings. But
remember, when you are sad or angry, you should not do
thoughtless things.
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Hearing that,
the woman said:
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- Thank you,
Master, I will not do foolish things anymore
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Therefore, to
avoid unfortunate situations that may occur, according to the
Buddha's teachings, when you are sad or angry, you must first:
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1- Keep your
mind calm.
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The first thing
you should do when you are sad or angry is to tell yourself:
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- I have to be
calm.
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Because emotions
at this time often go along with actions that you may regret
later, typically like the woman I just told you about.
Fortunately for that woman, after being taken to the emergency
room, the doctor promptly cleaned her stomach so she was able
to keep her life, and there was no impact on her health. But
if the medicine had absorbed too much, she could not save her
life, or after saving her life, she was disabled. So, her
husband was bored and left her, now she is disabled, unable to
die, but living with disabilities, then life is truly tragic.
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That is the
consequence of sadness, anger, and wrong decisions. Because
often when you are angry, you cannot think properly and
thoroughly. You can say or do things you think are right just
to vent your anger, or because it feels appropriate at that
moment. So the advice now is, instead of following your
emotions, you should take a deep breath and take some time to
calm yourself down to avoid regrets later. Therefore, when you
are angry, you:
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- Don't say or
do anything.
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2- Keep yourself
busy.
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Usually, when
you are sad or angry, your mind becomes dark. So another thing
to do when you are sad or angry is to distract your mind. You
take yourself away from the problem you are facing, by making
yourself busy. Because when you are sad or angry, you tend to
think that you have to face it immediately, and at the same
time prove to everyone that you are not weak. But acting out
of anger is the greatest weakness of humans. Instead of making
a mess of things, instead of drinking to drown your sorrows,
instead of hating life, hating people. Instead of gambling and
having fun, it is better to focus on useful things to keep
your mind busy. Things you can do at this time are:
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- Go out with a
good friend
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- Recite
Buddha's name, chant sutras, meditate, listen to the Dharma,
etc.
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3- Think before
you speak.
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When you are sad
or angry, you often say things that you should not say.
Especially when you are sad or angry, you tend to only say
words that hurt others, without even knowing the meaning of
what you are saying. Therefore, you will create disagreements
between you and others, while normally you would not act like
that. Therefore, try to think carefully before you intend to
say anything while sad or angry. From the perspective of
Buddhists, the Venerables often advise that you should use the
Right View to see things. Use the Right Thought to think and
use the Right Speech to speak. This way, you will not hurt
others and will not make you regret it later. In addition,
psychologists often advise you to take a walk at this time to
avoid saying things that hurt others.
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4- Find a
solution.
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When you are
angry, you should not keep the reasons for your sadness and
anger in your heart, but find a way to release it as soon as
possible. That means one of the things you should not do when
you are angry is to find a way to resolve it as soon as
possible. Because the cause of sadness or anger can be an
unexpected problem or a problem that has been suppressed for a
long time without being resolved. One of the things you should
do at such a time is to find a solution to the problem and
find a way to deal with the causes of it rather than fighting
and cursing. Because usually, talking to relieve anger often
does not bring good results. Instead of cursing and yelling,
the solution can be:
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- Sympathy and
forgiveness.
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5- Don't curse.
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Never curse when
you are angry. You often say very silly things when you are
angry just to hurt the other person. But in fact, you do not
do anything when you hurt others. On the contrary, cursing
only creates more karma in your mouth and mind, which does not
benefit your life. So whenever you feel like you are insulting
someone when you are angry, take a step back and consider:
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- It is better
to be happy
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6- Don't hold
grudges in your heart.
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You can be angry
with people who are not nice, or rude to you, but that does
not mean you have to hold grudges against them. Holding
grudges against others will only make you think about the
wrong things that they have done, thereby making you feel
worse and worse. Instead, you should be forgiving and tolerant
to forget the mistakes of others. This will help you live a
life without the shadow of negative emotions.
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7- Simplify the
problem.
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One way to
resolve a sad, angry situation is to use humor. Whatever the
cause of the suffering, try to create humor. Reducing the
problem will help you avoid unnecessary stress in life.
Therefore, instead of being disappointed and responding
angrily, simplify the problem by thinking of a joke, or making
the atmosphere more cheerful. But be careful, do not use humor
to be sarcastic, or to dig because you will lose the purpose
and make the situation worse.
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Remember that
the consequences of anger and sadness are very scary. That
emotion can be the pride of a person with a strong
personality, but those who cannot control their anger will
become difficult to approach, they will even isolate
themselves from the community.
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This advice
shows that the Buddha not only guided his disciples in his
lifetime but also had a beneficial impact on humanity and
society for thousands of years to come. The Buddha's teachings
were truly unique. To be transmitted to humanity, the long
period of nearly six thousand years after the Buddha's death
was very difficult, so the preservation of the Buddha's
orthodox teachings relied solely on the memory of the great
monks. All phenomena are constantly changing, and the Buddha's
teachings, that is, the Dharma he gave, are also just a
phenomenon. People, culture, society, language, and
civilization all change. Although the Dharma is also just a
phenomenon and has been expressed from many different
perspectives, the core of the Buddha's teachings is still
preserved. His teachings were not divided into five or seven
parts to become other religions, nor was there a prophet who
represented him to impose his views. The Buddha's decision
above is extremely wise, skillful, and far-sighted. The
ultimate goal in Buddhist practice is Wisdom, which helps you
practice to see reality as the Buddha saw it when he attained
Enlightenment.
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That path is the
way of keeping precepts and meditating through the six right
things, that is, the Six Paramitas. This practice helps you to
master your body, speech, and thinking to develop Wisdom to
help you attain the ultimate fruition that the Buddha attained
when meditating under the Bodhi tree. Keeping precepts and
meditating will help you gradually eliminate all attachments
and desires to realize the state of Liberation of an Arhat,
that is, a state of absolute cessation, no more formation,
destruction, and rebirth. In other words, this existence is
your final existence in the phenomenal world. Mahayana
Buddhism was formed six centuries after the ancient schools,
that is, starting from the first century AD, and advocated an
open path of practice, upholding the ideals of Wisdom and
Compassion of the Bodhisattva. Compassion and Wisdom always go
together, and cannot be separated from each other, similar to
the two wings of a bird:
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- Because
without Wisdom there will be no Compassion, and without
Compassion there will never be Wisdom.
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Both must always
work together to create the Buddhist Path. For Wisdom is
simply a cold and hard understanding like a sword. Compassion
is simply a way to conceal your crude attachment or weakness
based on your lustful ego.
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This unique
feature of Buddhism is not only a new direction of practice
but also opens up a vast and liberal space, leading to deeper
expressions and developments of some aspects and concepts of
the teachings given by the Blessed One. These efforts have of
course also led to appropriate and suitable methods of
practice.
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In short, the
Buddhist reminders are a great advantage in providing a deep
understanding of the philosophical, metaphysical,
psychological, logical, and even scientific levels of the
practical teachings of the Buddha. The most typical and
representative examples of these efforts are the thoughts and
works of scholars such as Nagarjuna, Vasubandhu, Dignaga, etc.
And on another level, that expansion as well as the
Bodhisattva's ideal of Compassion advocated by Mahayana
Buddhism has also led to many forms of practice to satisfy
people and life through all forms of beliefs with all kinds of
colors and rituals, along with the appearance of countless
Buddhas, Saints and Bodhisattvas. From a certain perspective,
these are skillful means to adapt to different levels and
complex temperaments of practitioners.
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I think that is
also the intention and meaning of the advice of the
Venerables. Practically, you must always be aware of where you
are on the Path that the Buddha has outlined for you. What
skillful means are you practicing to satisfy your instinctive
demands or are you looking at the Buddha's footsteps to
follow.
---o0o---
If you have any recommendations,
please e-mail to:
chuaduocsu@duocsu.org
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