DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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Thi Phi is a common occurrence in life, it is like dust mixed in the wind and in the sky. The things that are right and wrong, simply understood, are public opinion:

- If it doesn't happen, rumors say yes

- Fewer rumors spread too many

- That's not the case, but rumors spread a different kind of harm.

In Chinese-Vietnamese, Thi is true, Phi is false. The word thi phi go together, the will of the world's mouth cannot be measured. Whoever wants to say right or wrong can say it, whoever wants to make up a lot of things, no one can stop him.

  The truth and false stories in society always exist in two opposing categories:

- Black and white,

- Love and hate,

- Night and day,

- Sad and happy

- Covetousness and purity etc...

Although they are contrasting pairs, they always exist in parallel and cannot be separated, perhaps that's why it creates conflicts and hatred in life. If only solid but not empty, the cup has no capacity to contain. If there was only darkness without light, man would not be able to do anything. So don't expect that there is only right and no wrong.

More clearly, right and wrong are gossip about someone, with something that has negative, disparaging connotations. Therefore, no one likes to be drawn into what is right and wrong, because it can ruin a life, and sometimes even worse. There are some people who are afraid of being drawn into what is right and wrong, but most of them show interest and satisfaction when they bring others out to talk about bad things.

True and false stories do not reflect the truth, often stories that have been added or removed, or only 3 parts real 7 parts fictional. Therefore, stories that are true or false in history are only considered unofficial history, that is, word of mouth, without evidence or inconclusive evidence, or fabricated evidence. But it is because of the addition or subtraction that the story of right and wrong is always attractive, gradually they are painted with mystical elements to excite the listener and create excitement for those involved in that story.

People who like to talk nonsense are people who always have a need to show that they are knowledgeable, and know things that people don't know. Those who are curious about right and wrong are curious, and inquisitive and like to interfere in other people's affairs, from which to propagate, spread, and destroy the influence or happiness of others. Both of these types of people are selfish, unscrupulous people who are not afraid of bad karma. Righteous, honest, virtuous people never do such things.

To avoid mistakes, if there is ever a time when you are about to tell, or hear a story that is right or wrong, ask yourself if the story is of any use to you. Does it have anything to do with you and is it true?

If it has nothing to do with you, does not increase or decrease your benefits, or harms, and is not true, then it is best not to speak and not to listen. In some cases, you just need to deduce, understand, and just keep it to yourself.

How about in the case of people who have trouble with gossip?

Perhaps they will more or less feel hurt, worried, fearful, or even psychologically crisis, depending on the bravery of each person. Of course, there are also people who become strong because of right and wrong things, because they have to work hard to prove the truth. And I think that is the most positive and meaningful way.

If you are scorned, scrutinized, and talked about behind your back, it's best not to explain, don't make any excuses. Because the more you try to explain, the more the story will spread and stimulate the listener, for those who play, sit idle, and specialize in badmouthing others. Your indifference will frustrate those people, or make it impossible for them to add to the story they hear. That's what the press is doing today, scouring things like fashion models' revealing clothes, footballers' extramarital affairs, and politicians' affairs.

When faced with the story of right and wrong for you, think about whether there is some truth to it, why people attribute it to you, and whether did you do something to make them hate it or if they are jealous of you. If you really have a few bad points, improve immediately. If you find yourself clean and your conscience has no qualms, then just keep living who you are, and work hard to be more successful. Everything right and wrong will be dusted over time. If you take a second to worry and cover up what's right and wrong, you've wasted a second of your life.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with right and wrong. The scary thing is that you are putting yourself in danger which should never have happened. Therefore, the story of right and wrong is sometimes also a reminder, a warning, and an encouragement for your spirit to improve always moving forward. But sometimes it also makes you headache, insecure, feel tired and sometimes depressed, loses faith in life.

At such times, sometimes you think that you have to stay away from this place and go to a place where there are no "big mouth" people to find a more peaceful life. But that is impossible because where there are people, there are good and evil, right and wrong, good and bad, with there are big mouths people.

Much of what is right and wrong is rooted in the greed to possess, from the envy between people, because it is easy to sympathize with the suffering of others, but to rejoice in the success of others is very difficult. When you see someone more successful or loved than you are, you tend to get annoyed and seek to point out their tiniest faults. You like looking into their private lives instead of looking at their strengths or contributions to others. So the story of right and wrong is sometimes the product of the human mind woven. You look at someone with your narrow eyes from afar and assume they are this way or that. You judge the deeds of the sages through the prism, through your ordinary mind, which is right and wrong, good and bad. After all, it is also because your mind is full of afflictions, your heart is narrow and cannot accommodate the advantages or disadvantages of the human world. In life, no one can avoid right and wrong, love and hate. Even the World-Honored One or the saints cannot avoid it, you are a mortal and it is difficult to avoid. Let me tell you the story:

Once, the Buddha went to teach in the area ruled by the Brahmins, the Brahmin monks saw that their disciples followed the Buddha too much, so they blocked the way and scolded the Buddha. Buddha was still walking slowly forward. But the group of Brahmins did not give up, and they still followed and continued to curse the Buddha. Seeing that the Buddha calmly kept silent and continued to move forward, they became angry, stopped the Buddha, and asked:

- Are you deaf?

- I'm not deaf.

- You're not deaf, why can't you hear me curse?

- Hey Brahmin, if your family has a party, relatives come to attend, and after the party, they leave, you give them a gift they don't accept, then whose hand does that gift go to?

- That gift is about me.

- In the same way, if you curse at me, if I don't accept it, you will accept it yourself.

The Brahmins called out the Buddha's name, but he did not accept it. As for you, just listen to shadow talk, wherever the wind is, you also listen to it, to be sad to be angry. Thus, seeing the wild words of sentient beings, the Buddha did not accept or be sad. And you are delusional, only one word is heavier, but you hold it forever in your heart so that suffering is constant.

Usually, when you are faced with right and wrong things, you often lose your temper, then you run east to west to explain the problem, or find a way to respond to win or lose until the end. However, the wise are at ease, just sitting quietly watching it come and go, self-born and self-destructed. Because, more than anyone else, they know what they are doing, they know how to master and control their mind not because those tumultuous noises creep into their hearts to lose their inner balance. That is why their life is always peaceful.

You should know, whether you are right or wrong, trying to justify, trying to clear things up through argument, will only make things worse. In any case, silence is always the optimal solution. Silence indicates your competence, it can give truth, and it can be eloquent. It can calm anger. It can be coaxing. It is composure. Sometimes it's braver than speaking out.

In the sutras, the Buddha said that when an evil person scolds a good person, a good person does not accept that scolding, then the consequences of that scolding will harm the evil person. Just like a person with his face up to the sky spitting saliva, the saliva does not reach the sky but falls right down to the face of the sprayer. So if you receive it, you will be attached to suffering, if you don't receive it, you will be happy. Knowing this, from now on, if you hear anything about yourself, good or bad, don't accept it, you will be happy. This is the opposite, most of you have the defect of hearing people say bad things about you through the mouth of the second or third person, then you will find clues to receive and then get angry, delusional, and disturbed, which is not good

Of course, not all right and wrong words are easy to ignore. There are insults to your personality, affecting not only you but also creating a wave of public opinion on the psychology of those around you. These people can, from right and wrong words, perceive you incorrectly.

However, stay calm. Because right and wrong words will only affect those who superficially judge the problem from the mouth. But those who are profound, and knowledgeable, can look deeply, look broadly, and only comment when they have carefully appraised. So, if you're right, keep your mind steady, because it's not difficult when you get past the untrue, groundless gossip.

Because of the predestined karma in this world, anyone who grows up has never been entangled in right and wrong things. Even when the Buddha was still alive, he suffered enough scandals from the Brahmin's mouth. The only thing is, whoever meets right and wrong and walks gently through it is a person who understands, who sees right and wrong but reaches for it and hangs it around his neck as an ornament, who has no practice.

Today, you are living in an era of high technology, everywhere there is free wifi, everywhere is on sale, then for just a few dozen dollars, you have a sim card that can call the whole United States, for months at no extra cost. And the consequences of right and wrong things caused in the process of you speaking without knowing what you say are unpredictable. Light is painful for a few individuals, and heavy is destroying an entire community. Then whether intentionally or unintentionally, the earth is round, and the right and wrong words that you gently sow keep growing, growing, until one day in your peace you are accidentally knocked down by your own right and wrong...

It is with the person who sows right and wrong. What about those who suffer from right and wrong?

People who suffer right and wrong, if they don't know how to deal with it, don't have the courage to overcome it, will often suffer and are extremely tired. But right and wrong is something you are more likely to encounter than trash on the street many times, especially if you are an active person with many ups and downs in life. Because if you just have a normal life, with few bumps, there's not much to talk about. And you are a person who has gone through many experiences, many ups and downs, then you suffer more right and wrong words than anyone else. Because when you are promoted, your job is smooth, every party you are the one paying, everyone compliments you..., you find yourself creating quite a lot of favors. But when your business fails, it's normal to have tons of people turn away.

So what do you have to do so that when things are right and wrong, you can still walk through it?

Perhaps you just consider those things right and wrong as an inevitable things you will have to meet and face in life. Better yet, pretend you haven't heard what they say. That is also the way the ancients used to teach their descendants in an ancient legend. The story is that:

On a leisurely morning, King Duong Thai Tong asked a great mandarin named Hua Kinh Ton:

- I see your dignity is not a bad person. Why are there so many right and wrong words, and hate you so much?

Hua Kinh Ton replied:

- Your Majesty. The spring rain pours like oil, the farmer is happy for the soil to be impregnated, and the pedestrians hate it because the road is slippery. The autumn moon is bright like a mirror hanging in the night sky, poets are happy because they have the opportunity to enjoy the moon, read poetry, and sing. But thieves hate it because the moonlight is too bright, they can't steal. Heaven and earth are inherently unbiased, but the weather when it is sunny and when it rains is still blamed and hated by the world. And I am not a perfect person, how can I avoid criticism?

So the foolish mandarin thinks, for the right and wrong in the world, you should calm down and consider, don't be in a hurry to listen and believe. The king believed and listened to what was right and wrong, the mandarin was harmed. Parents who believe in what is right and wrong, their children are abandoned. When husband and wife believe and listen to right and wrong, the family is separated. The voice of right and wrong of the world is more poisonous than the venom of a centipede, sharper than a sword, killing people without seeing blood.

The story above is the best example for you to learn from when faced with gossip about right and wrong. That is:

- Don't hear, don't see, and don't care!

However, achieving that state is not easy.

Personally, in conversations, I always try to avoid mentioning someone who is absent. Even talking is just saying nice things and trying to find common topics and fun things to talk about.

Rumors come from bad minds, from bad mouths that cause pain or suffering to others. Especially today on the internet system is very easy, you just click a mouse and all three thousand worlds appear, including good and bad. Rumors thus spread more quickly and easily. And that's why its dangers are even more unpredictable. It makes the victim feel ashamed and desperate, if not lucid enough, they will think distraught and seek death.

As a mundane person, everyone has advantages and disadvantages in character, and mistakes in work, no one is perfect. Knowing that you should understand and sympathize with each other to avoid causing pain to each other even with a word unintentionally or intentionally. So practicing oral karma, although it seems simple, sometimes you cannot do it for the rest of your life. Therefore, do not follow the rumors of the public to follow the criticism of someone's words when you are not an insider.

If you do not want to bring disaster to your body, you should be careful with your words, listen, observe, and use wisdom to determine what is right and wrong in life. If you encounter right and wrong things in life, you should calmly reflect on yourself, no more than lose, no distractions, just quietly observe it coming and going as the World-Honored One taught.

Remember that right and wrong are from the place of oral karma. Evil oral karma from words creates bad consequences, harming the speaker and those involved. Mouth karma also affects the whole community and the whole society. Instead of being drawn into the matter of right and wrong, if you know love language, which means saying good words and beautiful ideas, you and those around you will enjoy it.

People who have cultivated and have a proper understanding of oral karma are often very careful when speaking. They know how to speak at the right time in both content and form. People with cultivation know how to speak so as not to upset the listener. When they see someone in the family or group of friends doing something wrong, they also find a way to speak tactfully and at the right time to advise them.

People who have learned to understand speech should only use words when necessary and speak to achieve the results they want without hurting the listener. People who have cultivated and learned often speak to the Buddha's mind, that is, use compassion, joy, and equanimity to speak. Before speaking, they even sit down to calm their hearts, let their minds be pure, and then speak. At that time, there will be fewer useless and even bad words. Wise people know that if the words you are about to say can have bad consequences, they usually don't say it.

Because if you can't control your words, you create bad oral karma. But bad oral karma certainly leaves bad consequences, either immediately, or for a long time later.

Everyone wants to hear beautiful words and soothing sounds. You too. Why do you say unkind words? I often think to myself:

- Does the audience want to hear what I have to say? If the answer is no, I usually try not to say it.

If you speak out and cause hatred, you create bad karma yourself. Bad karma drags you around in samsara with constant suffering. The Buddha taught that out of ten human karmas, there is four oral karma, which is nearly half. That is: If there is no, say yes, if there is, say no. Speak evil. Two-way tongue talk. Speak embroidered words.

Evil oral karma is one of the heaviest karma you create. Everyone knows that physical wounds heal more easily than verbal wounds

In short, to avoid being drawn into right and wrong things, you must know how to maintain your oral karma. Just like in life. No matter how rich you are, if you don't save, your money will run out. Moreover, you need to understand that the property and wealth of this life are due to good karma, due to the merits of the previous life. If you only know how to spend but do not know how to earn more, that is, if you do not create good karma, that treasure will one day run out.

If you have studied Buddhism, and know how to study and practice the Buddha's teachings, that's great. From the right understanding, you apply and live and get results, you get immediate benefits.

In the Buddhist scriptures, the words that the Buddha spoke, soft words, persuaded the hearts of sentient beings. Sentient beings in the Dharma Realm are very interested in hearing the Buddha's teachings and are convinced by all of the Buddha's phonetics. That's because the Buddha has practiced for many generations, so there is a reason for his kind words.

If the mouth speaks good words, there is a lot of kindness in the heart, then a good magnetic field will come from the universe. And get good feedback. To be considered a charitable act, it is necessary to know enough and thank you first. Knowing enough is a kind of achievement. The more a person cultivates, the more he needs to be self-sufficient. For any foreign situation, when a person who knows how to practice, knows enough and is grateful, that is representative of diligence and progress. So:

- People in everyday life have a lot of right and wrong things

What is right, what is wrong?

Right is the truth, wrong is not true

What is the difference between truth and no truth?

The sage practitioners see right and wrong

Think about what the world wants

All the world is a dream

Right still does not count, what to do wrong.

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