DHARMA IN EVERYDAY LIFE

By Nhat Quan

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To fully develop compassion for all sentient beings, you must understand the three types of suffering that beings experience:

- Suffering due to pain

- Suffering due to change, and

- Suffering due to conditioned existence.

And to understand the suffering of others, you must first understand your own suffering. You must recognize that you, too, are experiencing these three types of suffering, and thus resolve to liberate yourself from suffering due to pain, suffering due to change, and suffering due to conditioned existence. Conversely, if you do not recognize all your own suffering, you will not be able to recognize the suffering of others. And when your understanding of suffering is limited, the development of your compassion, or your ability to help others, will also be limited.

If your understanding of suffering is limited, your idea of ​​liberation will also be limited. However, if you clearly understand the three types of suffering, you will be able to develop a broader and deeper compassion, because then your compassion will encompass all sentient beings. Conversely, without a good understanding, your compassion will be limited to those who are currently experiencing pain.

The first type of suffering is suffering due to pain, which is very easy to identify. It relates to birth, old age, sickness, death, and all other physical and mental problems. Like a single atom compared to all the atoms in the world, illness is only one of thousands of issues belonging to the category of suffering due to pain.

The second type of suffering is that caused by change, which is often more difficult to recognize. You can only understand this type of suffering through analytical reasoning. Suffering due to change refers to the temporary pleasures you experience; these pleasures do not last, and when you try to make them last, they transform into suffering belonging to the category of suffering due to pain.

With the fleeting pleasures you are currently enjoying, you are giving the name "pleasure" to a feeling that is actually suffering. Because the suffering nature of this feeling is not as easily recognizable as the gross forms of suffering in the category of suffering due to pain, you label it as pleasure, and it appears before you as if it were pleasure. However, as the pleasure diminishes, the underlying suffering begins to manifest. Continuing an action, whether it's eating, walking, sitting, or sleeping, only increases the discomfort. The suffering becomes more noticeable, and you feel less of what you call pleasure. Pleasure does not exist inherently; only what you have labeled as pleasure exists. You assign the name pleasure to a foundation that is not purely pleasure but is actually unrecognized suffering.

For example, when you are in pain, if you feel less pain today than yesterday, you say you feel better, but that doesn't mean you are completely free from pain. It simply means the feeling of pain has lessened. You assign the name happiness to the reduced discomfort of whatever problem you are facing. Therefore, the foundations upon which you base your definition of happiness are not entirely free from problems. You still have discomfort, but it has lessened. The temporary pleasures in the cycle of samsara are the same.

When you sit, the longer you sit, the more uncomfortable and tired you become. That discomfort soon becomes easily recognizable, and when it becomes unbearable, you stand up. At this point, the unbearable discomfort caused by sitting for a long time ceases because the action that caused it has ended. But as soon as you stand up, the act of standing immediately gives rise to the discomfort of standing. Although the discomfort of standing begins immediately, you don't notice it because it's too subtle, but as you continue to stand for a long time, the discomfort gradually increases. After a while, the discomfort becomes obvious, and you begin to notice it. At that point, it becomes suffering in the category of suffering due to pain. Thus, when you first stand up, you label a feeling of discomfort that is too weak to be noticed as pleasant, and you continue to call it pleasant until the discomfort becomes obvious.

When a previously noticeable feeling of suffering ceases, you say that you are experiencing pleasure, but that is not complete or ultimate happiness. When you say you feel better because the pain has lessened, you are labeling something that is actually suffering as pleasant. And it seems like pleasure only because you have labeled it as such, but in reality, it is not true happiness. You can only label something as true happiness if it is free from all three types of suffering, not just suffering due to pain and suffering due to change, but also suffering due to conditioned existence.

The third type of suffering, the suffering of conditioned existence, is the most subtle and important type of suffering that you need to understand clearly. It is the fundamental type of suffering, because without it, you would not experience the suffering of suffering and the suffering of change. You need strong determination to escape this type of suffering.

So what is the suffering of conditioned existence? It is this cycle of samsara, this combination of body and mind, which is controlled by karmic forces and afflictive delusions, and is contaminated by the seeds of these afflictive delusions.

All sentient beings in the Three Realms of Desire, Form, and Formless Realms experience this third type of suffering. All sentient beings in hell, hungry ghosts, animals, humans, and gods in the Desire Realm experience all three types of suffering. Gods in the Form Realm do not experience the suffering of suffering but experience the suffering of change and the suffering of conditioned existence. Gods in the Formless Realm only have consciousness and no physical body; they do not experience the suffering of change or the suffering of suffering, but they still experience the suffering of conditioned existence, because they are still governed by karmic forces and delusions.

Because the seeds of afflictive delusions contaminate your consciousness, you generate afflictive delusions when you encounter beautiful, ugly, or neutral objects. These afflictive delusions activate karma, which has left seeds in the consciousness, and then these seeds become the cause of future lives in samsara, the combination of body and mind in your future lives repeating the experience of suffering.

Every action driven by an afflictive delusion leaves unwholesome seeds in the consciousness, and then, like sprouts growing from seeds, these seeds will manifest as similar aggregates in the future, meaning they are all of a suffering nature. Just as a corn plant does not reproduce itself, but a similar young corn plant will grow from its seed, similar aggregates will arise from the seeds of karma, meaning that these new aggregates are also not free from suffering. Although your physical body does not carry over to the next life, your consciousness does. It combines with another body to become the aggregates of a future life, or reincarnation. Your aggregates in the next life are a continuation of the aggregates in this life, which is why we call it the cycle of reincarnation.

This third type of suffering is called pervasive suffering because the combination of body and mind is governed and enveloped by karmic forces and delusive afflictions, and is constituted by the seeds in the consciousness that form aggregates of a similar kind. Your current aggregates constitute future aggregates of a similar kind, repeating the experience of the three types of suffering. In other words, these aggregates constitute another aggregate of aggregates, the aggregates of a future life, which have the same nature of suffering, by being constituted from their causes, or seeds. That is why these aggregates are called conditioned suffering.

If you remove the seeds of delusive afflictions from the continuum of consciousness, then delusive afflictions cannot arise, and without delusions, nothing will create unwholesome actions, which are the cause of leaving seeds in your mind and creating future reincarnation, just as nothing can grow in a field if no seeds are sown. Without a cause, there will be no effect. That is how you can completely liberate yourself from reincarnation.

According to the Buddha's teachings, you can choose a happy life for yourself. The Buddha taught that:

- Understanding leads to compassion.

From ancient times to the present, love and mutual help have always been a concern of humanity, and will remain so for thousands of years to come. However, not everyone understands how to love in a way that leads to lasting happiness. If you want to understand how to love others, you must practice three types of suffering:

- The suffering of suffering

- The suffering of impermanence

- The suffering of decay

Understanding the three kinds of suffering is when you are building love on the foundation of understanding. In Buddhism, compassion is linked to wisdom. Without knowing the three kinds of suffering, without understanding, one cannot love deeply. Without experience, without understanding, one cannot love authentically. Understanding is the foundation of love. Every person has their own sorrows and sufferings; if you don't understand, you won't love, but instead feel resentment and blame. Without understanding, your love will suffocate others. Without understanding, you will cause the person you love to suffer for a lifetime. In this world, many people have used the name of love to cause each other suffering. That happens often. Being understood and loved is a timeless human need. Many people often feel that no one understands them, so they hunger for love and understanding. They wander through life searching for someone who understands and loves them. When they meet someone who understands and loves them, it is a great blessing in life.

Love blossoms and grows from there. Therefore, to meet someone who understands and loves you, that person must possess the four elements of the mind: loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity:

- Loving-kindness is the ability to offer happiness to the one you love. Love is not about enjoyment; love is about giving. Love that does not bring happiness to the loved one is not true love.

- Compassion is the ability to take suffering away from oneself. If you are already suffering, and someone makes you suffer even more, that cannot be true love. What is there left to give each other if there is only suffering and despair? The person who loves you must be someone who knows how to share, how to soothe, and how to alleviate your suffering in life. Thus, according to Buddhist teachings, loving-kindness and compassion are the ability to bring happiness to one another. To love someone means to alleviate their suffering. Loving-kindness and compassion in love do not come spontaneously. To have loving-kindness and compassion, you must learn, experience, and practice. It takes time to observe, to listen, to experience suffering, suffering in action, and suffering in decay to understand the suffering and pain of others, to help them overcome, resolve, lessen their suffering, and increase their happiness.

- Joy is happiness; true love must bring joy to both parties. The hallmark of genuine love is joy. The more you love, the greater the joy. You will have an infinitely happy space.

- Equanimity is non-discrimination and non-judgment in love. When you love someone, their happiness is your happiness, their difficulties are your difficulties, and their suffering is your suffering.

Thus, by cultivating the virtues of compassion, joy, and equanimity through meditation, you can purify yourself, eliminate the seeds of deluded thoughts and afflictions, and completely liberate yourself from the causes of suffering, and thus from suffering. At that point, you are permanently liberated from birth and death and the instability of that cycle. Once you purify all the seeds of delusion in your mind, you will be permanently free from suffering. This is the way to completely free yourself from these fundamental forms of suffering.

When you liberate yourself from the aggregates, or in other words, from the suffering of mental formations, you are also liberated from suffering and the suffering of decay. Ultimate liberation is complete liberation from all three types of suffering. At that time, you will no longer be reborn with such painful aggregates. The happiness of liberation will be eternal, because you will never have to experience suffering again. With this experience, you will think of the saying:

- Love others as you love yourself.

Once you have experienced the sufferings of life, you will also know that others, to a greater or lesser extent, have also experienced similar sufferings. Once you understand this, you can love and accept them easily.

In short, to truly love others, you must understand their circumstances. Only by understanding can you truly love. But to understand someone's feelings or circumstances, you must learn and practice the teachings of the three kinds of suffering: Suffering of action, suffering of suffering, and suffering of decay. You must practice them thoroughly, knowing them well, so that you gain experience. Because these sufferings will repeat themselves, and they spare no individual or living being currently living on this planet. Every living being or individual on this planet experiences all kinds of emotions: sadness, joy, pleasure, and suffering. Whatever your feelings are, others will feel the same. If you know sadness, others will also know sadness; if you know joy, pleasure, and suffering, others will also know joy, sadness, and suffering… And that is also why the first precept for lay Buddhists is not to kill. The reason you shouldn't kill is that, whether the creature is big or small, it is still a living being. When humans know suffering, animals also know suffering. When humans know joy, animals also know joy. Clearly, when you witness a cow being led to the slaughterhouse, it naturally doesn't know where it's being led, but its instincts tell it that it's about to be killed, so it sheds tears and refuses to go.

Therefore, when you understand the three kinds of suffering, you can empathize with the suffering of others. When you understand the painful circumstances of others, you can empathize with them and accept why they have those attitudes and actions, why they say such harsh things.

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