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Transforming Depression
by Lama Zopa Rinpoche
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The best
solution to purify the karma of having depression is to do the
purification practice of Vajrasattva. As long as the karma isn't
purified, you'll continue to suffer from depression again in future
lives.
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Maybe you
wake up in the morning feeling depressed for no particular reason. If
you can't solve this problem through meditation it might help to just
go to sleep, or go somewhere to rest, or take a nice drive somewhere.
Otherwise you'll get upset, disturbing the people around you as well.
When you're angry, all sorts of bad, uncontrolled thoughts can come
into your mind.
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If you're
depressed due to a certain situation then you can apply the meditation
techniques that relate to that particular set of conditions. But if
you just feel sad for no particular reason, it's best to practice
bodhicitta.
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You can
recite the verse from the
Guru
Puja,
"Please bless me to realize that the disease of the self cherishing
thought is the door to unwanted suffering." Blame the demon, the
self-cherishing thought, for your problem of depression. Then recite
the next verse, 'Bless me to realize that cherishing others,
bodhicitta, the attitude that leads all mother living beings to
happiness, is the door to every excellent quality."
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Another quote
from Guru Puja is, "Even if all living beings become my enemy, may I
cherish them more than my life." It's very good if you can recite
these verses daily, especially when you feel depressed. Then you'll be
using your depression to practice the meaning of these two verses;
that all problems and suffering come from cherishing the 'I',
therefore the I is the object to be renounced, to be given up. All
your own and others' happiness, including all the realizations up to
enlightenment- all perfections and happiness come from cherishing
others- bodhicitta.
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Because all
these good things come from the attitude of cherishing others, they
depend on other living beings. Therefore living beings are to be
cherished forever. You need to repay the kindness of all these
precious beings, to help them however you can. How best to do this?
They've been millionaires countless times, they've even been universal
kings but none of this power or wealth has freed them from the
sufferings of samsara. The best way to repay their kindness is to
practice Lamrim, to transform the mind from ignorance, attachment and
self-cherishing into wholesome, pure thoughts. By actualizing the path
to enlightenment you can easily liberate other beings. Therefore the
best way to repay their kindness is to meditate on and develop
bodhicitta in your own mind.
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Taking
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Every living
being is the source of all your past, present, future happiness.
Generate compassion by thinking, "I'll take all their suffering and
its causes (afflictive emotions and negative karmic imprints)
including the fires of the hot hells, the ice of the cold hells and
the unpleasant, unhealthy, ugly, unpeaceful and polluted environments
of human beings into my heart." This eliminates the self-cherishing
attitude. Once the self-cherishing attitude has been destroyed do a
short meditate on emptiness.
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Giving
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After the
self-cherishing has been destroyed, generate love by giving your own
happiness, your merit, all the good things you have, including your
body, wealth and possessions. All their wishes are fulfilled as if
they had a wish-granting jewel. By giving them all these things you
create unbelievable amounts of merit. You can recite mantra while
they're receiving everything they want and need. Actually they don't
know they really need. What they need is to meet the dharma. But if
they don't understand the benefits of the dharma, they want something
other than dharma.
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Receiving all
these good things causes them to actualize the spiritual path, to
purify the two obscurations (to liberation and enlightenment). They
achieve the rupakaya (the form bodies of a
buddha)
and become enlightened. Think, "How wonderful it is that I can do all
this for others! I've died many times in past lives while working for
my own happiness, but it didn't accomplish anything. I'm still in
samsara. I've never died while working for others. Even if I have to
die for the benefit of others, for them to stop creating negative
karma, to not be reborn in the lower realms and for their minds to
become the dharmakaya and rupakaya and enlightened, it would be
immensely worthwhile.
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Mediate on
the extensive kindness and precious of all beings. "Every living being
is the source of all my past, present, future hap. My own future
buddha, dharma and sangha come from purifying my negative karma
enabling me to attain all the realizations and to achieve
enlightenment. All this happens on the basis of other beings.
Therefore every sentient being is the most precious thing in my life.
Anything other than working for living beings is totally meaningless."
This includes experiencing depression for them. There's nothing to
work for other than sentient beings. Anything else is totally
meaningless. Experience depression on their behalf by thinking this
isn't my depression but the depression of numberless beings,
this is their depression, their suffering. To give them
every happiness; including freedom all the sufferings of cyclic
existence and the bliss of full enlightenment is fantastic!
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Feel the joy
of it! This is their depression, so the most wonderful thing
would be to experience it for them and allow all those suffering from
depression to have every happiness. Then rejoice that you have this
opportunity to experience this problem of depression on their behalf.
"How fantastic it is that I'm experiencing this depression on behalf
of all beings!"
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Do this
practice of tonglen (taking and giving) in the morning,
afternoon and evening.
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Think again
and again, 'How lucky I am that I can experience this depression for
them. I've made many prayers to take others' suffering onto myself, so
now those prayers are being actualized. How fantastic this is! It
makes my life so rich, so meaningful! How fortunate I am to experience
this depression on behalf of all living beings."
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Think about
the meaning of your life, a psychological method that makes a huge
difference because much of the problem comes from your exaggerated
concept of pain. It's possible to reduce or completely eliminate pain
with the mind. "The purpose of my life isn't just to be healthy,
wealthy, to have a good reputation, to be popular and have lots of
friends. Even if I had all these things, it isn't the actual purpose
of my life. Even if I live for 1,000 years or am perfectly healthy for
eons, if I don't have love and compassion in my heart my life it's
meaningless and useless because my life isn't benefiting others.
Leading such a life would be empty. Therefore it doesn't matter what
happens; if in my life there's health or no health; depression or no
depression; cancer or no cancer, wealth or no wealth. The real purpose
of my life is to make my death beneficial for others. Even if I have
cancer, I'll make that experience beneficial for all beings by using
it to develop compassion and bodhicitta, to achieve realizations and
enlightenment." In this way the cancer becomes the cause of happiness.
Depression can also be used to achieve enlightenment to benefit all
beings in this and future lives, especially all those who suffer from
depression- just like using snake venom to produce it's own
anti-venom.
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You're using
your depression to achieve enlightenment. In this way it becomes the
cause of happiness for all sentient beings experiencing depression.
Think, "The main purpose of life is to benefit all living beings, to
free them from suffering and bring them happiness in this and future
lives. Even if I have cancer, aids, depression or whatever, the
purpose of my life is to bring happiness to all sentient beings by
experiencing these problems on their behalf. " In this way depression
becomes a quick way to achieve enlightenment. The same with cancer.
Use it to quickly achieve enlightenment. If it's experienced for the
benefit of others it becomes the quick path to enlightenment because
experiencing suffering for others is incredible, unbelievable
purification. This is excellent!
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There was one
monk in Thailand who was walking around the country. He came across a
big river. On the banks of the river was a woman with leprosy, with
pus oozing out of her sores. She begged the monk to carry her across
the river. He refused, on the basis that his monk's vows prevented him
from touching women. After some time one of the monk's disciples came
along and when he saw the poor woman, unbelievable compassion arose in
his mind. Without hesitation he picked her up and carried her across
the river, even though her body was covered with open wounds. When he
reached the middle of the river the woman transformed into Vajra
Yogini and took him – not just his consciousness, but also his body,
to Vajra Yogini's pure land. This means that by now this monk has
attained full enlightenment, because anyone who goes to Vajra Yogini's
pure land is enlightened there. Being in a pure land is a quick way to
achieve enlightenment if it hasn't yet happened in your present life.
In this case Vajra Yogini took the aspect of an ordinary, pitiful
woman with leprosy in order to stimulate compassion in the disciple's
mind. This compassion quickly purified the heavy negative karma
blocking him from seeing
Vajra
Yogini.
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In the case
of the great Tibetan yogi, Milarepa, the karmic blocks preventing him
to see Vajrayogini were purified by his pure service to his holy guru,
Marpa.
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It's the same
for you. If on the basis of feeling strong compassion you experience
depression on behalf of all beings, this meditation of taking and
experiencing the suffering for others is a quick path to
enlightenment, just like the example of the monk. It's a quick way to
achieve enlightenment because experiencing cancer, depression or any
suffering for the benefit of living beings is unbelievably purifying.
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Suffering
from depression can be a good thing because it allows you to easily
see the pain of other people. By using your own experience of
depression you can clearly feel the unbearable pain of many, many
other people. There are so many people who are depressed and many
others creating karma for future bouts of depression. Experiencing
depression on their behalf might be even more powerful than practising
tantra because if tantra isn't done correctly, on the basis of the
three principal paths, it's not a quick path to enlightenment.
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When feeling
depressed you can think, "I'm exhausting so much of my negative karma
to have depression that I've accumulated throughout countless past
lives." Rejoice! You should feel great joy about finishing the karma
instead of seeing the depression as something bad.
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As it's said
in
Guru
Puja,
living beings and their environments are filled with unbelievable
problems and sufferings, coming one after another like rainfall,
sufferings that are the results of negative karma. "Please grant me
blessings to see my depression as exhausting the results of my
negative karmic imprints, and bless me to be able to always transform
bad conditions into the path to enlightenment." You can recite mantra
while doing this meditation.
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For example
when you wash a dirty piece of cloth, the water becomes black with
dirt. You don't see the black dirt as a negative thing since it means
the cloth is getting clean. In the same way, when you practice dharma
negative karmas can ripen causing you to get sick because you're
purifying so much negative karma by practising dharma. So you should
rejoice when you get depressed!
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Depression
happens in the first place due to being under the control of the ego,
self-cherishing, attachment, anger, broken vows and pledges and having
disturbed the minds of holy beings and your spiritual teachers in past
lives. This depression is caused by the ego, the self-cherishing
attitude and the self-existent "I". So rather than accepting the
depression, give it back to the self-cherishing attitude. Use the
depression like a bomb to destroy the wrong conception of the I. Then
meditate on the emptiness of the self-existent I.
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These are
some ways to use depression to achieve enlightenment as quickly as
possible. By using it to develop compassion and bodhicitta you collect
merit as vast as limitless space and purify unbelievable amounts of
negative karma. It's being used like a powerful bomb to destroy the
wrong conception of the inherently existent I, the thing that caused
the depression in the first place. It's the demon that has prevented
your enlightenment, your liberation from samsara, all the
realizations, and is the door to all your problems.
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You can also do some preliminary practices such as Vajrasattva to
purify the negative karma that causes depression.
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Edited by
T. Wongmo,
Buddhist Nun
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"We hear
religious people talk a lot about morality. What is morality? Morality
is the wisdom that understands the nature of the mind. The mind that
understands its own nature automatically becomes moral, or positive;
and the actions motivated by such a mind also become positive. That’s
what we call morality. The basic nature of the narrow mind is
ignorance; therefore the narrow mind is negative."
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Lama Zopa
Rinpoche
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The above quote changes daily
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Lama Zopa
Rinpoche was born in 1946 in Thami, in the Mount Everest
region of
Nepal, not
far from the Lawudo cave where his predecessor had meditated for the
last 20 years of his life. Lama Zopa Rinpoche is now the Spiritual
Director of the Foundation and oversees all of its activities.
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